I just wanted to add (and I fully admit I'm making excuses here) that legally speaking, I am better off not remarrying anyway. Canadian law allows common-law the same tangible benefits as marriage, such as taxes, pensions, benefit plans etc., except for one thing: inheritance. In the absence of a will, your estate goes to your spouse if you are married or your children if you are common-law. Given that I have an adult child, if I were to remarry and then die suddenly, DS would lose his inheritance. Not so if I were living common-law. (I realize it's a lame excuse but there is some contention around this particular law whenever some old widower marries a young gold digger, drops dead and then his children get shafted.) In any event, never marrying again does protect him. And I do feel obligated since WXH and OW are common-law, but he cashed in all his RRSPs to buy a house in both their names. Because they are coowners of the house, if he dies, it goes to her. He also removed DS from his life insurance policy saying that OW was so wonderful that if he died, she'll give DS the money.

tabby to answer your question yes i was referring to WS's because that freeloader comment just seems perfect for the WS's i know in realife (ie my exWH and friends exspouses).

I don't think that by staying married to H that I'm setting myself up for more hurt. That's may be your perception because you didn't stay married. If a BS has a truly repentant spouse they are less likely to be cheated on again with their FWS than with a new spouse or SO. The simple truth is re-marrying is a high risk, period. I think it's been posted that something like 80% of second marriages fail. You have two people that have their own baggage not to mention dealing with children and exs.

My children are young. If H and I ever divorced, I would not be interested in marrying again or at least not for a very long time, as I don't want to risk my children's welfare. I know a few people who remarried only to have their young daughters molested by stepfathers or step siblings boinking each other while living in the same household. If a person doesn't want to remarry, fine but they also shouldn't parade BFs/GFs through the house either. Children don't need to be exposed to that crap.

Oddly enough, I hope to get married again, because I honestly don't feel like I've ever been in love as a "grown-up".

Obviously I'll be very cautious next time around, but I have nothing against the concept of marriage. I quite like it, actually.

This view will probably change my friend. Once you getting into the dating scene and realize how many KOOKS are out there you will be VERY reluctant to consider marriage. Most women our age that are single are FUBAR...DUDE

See, that's exactly my point, Dude. But about men. I guess part of me thinks the men out there that are available obviously have something wrong with them, or else they'd already be in a relationship.....

Another reason I was reluctant to leave my M after my WH's betrayals came to light.

It's tough out there. I have a few single friends left and I hear their horror stories on a weekly basis regarding d-bag guys they meet.

All the good ones are already taken.

Yeah, my fwxw doesn't believe me about that.(Lack of good "dudes") DUDE

Not necessarily. And remember, not all the taken ones are good (especially at the current rate of adultery).

I'll either find a good one or remain single, but if I can't ever find a good one I'll be pretty disappointed.

Originally Posted By: Dude007I think we see things clearly while those staying married and/or wanting to marry again after being betrayed are setting themselves up for more hurt. Why risk it if you don't have to?! IDK I'm just asking..DUDE

I don't think that I am setting myself up for more hurt just because my DH betrayed me once. I love him and I love being M to him inspite of his past failure. He messed up really bad but I have known him for over 20 years and I know that he is a wonderful man. If he messes around again I will put him out of my life for good. But I can truly say that I have enjoyed all of him for a long time and if I have to D him because he fails me again I will not ever regret having him in my life. I am happy that I had the opportunity to be M to him inspite of his short-comings.