I just posted that after having a great exposure call.

I just talked to the kids. It was hard, but it went well. They did not have a lot to say, and I tried to keep it short and to the point, as well as reassuring that I loved them, and would take care of them no matter what. And that (they know this) they have a large family to support them and take care of them.

I named OM, as they know him remotely.

They were not that upset, and felt relieved to be told, I think. I am going to be watching them like a hawk.

Just deciding wether I should contact OM by email, as it is the only contact method I have... I want to be done with exposure now, and get on to plan A.

I also need to be ready for a vampire seeing sunlight. I am a little concerned about her reaction, in that what if she goes off and tries to do something harmful to herself? I have some friends on standby, but I am a little worried.

I must thank you all. Keep the advice coming.

Don't call OM, that would be like Poland calling Germany and politely asking them to leave.

When she starts raging just say "Sorry you are so angry, would you like a potato chip?"

She's not going to go off on herself. Be ready for her to go off on you, though! Enjoy seeing the sunlight hitting the vampire! Stay calm. Stay loving. Let her know that there is NO WAY you'll roll over for this A and that you're going to do what it takes to save your M.
If there is no other way to contact OM, email him.
Good job with the kiddos, mfoss - you're well on your way to being this week's MB Poster BS for doing it right!

Great job on the exposure!!!! Bravo!!!

We have had WWs pack their bags and scream it's over only to return in an hour or two.

BTW, are any of your exposure targets going to email or call WW to put pressure on her to end her A?

Thanks everyone. I did it with your help.

As I got better at exposure, I made specific requests for people to contact her, and to expect to be ignored, and to ask her to not avoid them.

Just sent an email to OM. I am done with exposure I think, except for those who come to me. Plan A. Just the beginning, I know.

What maritalbliss said!

Mfoss, I am rooting for you! I wish I had come here early, as you have done. I want to see your story end the MB way!

CALL HIM UP, mfoss. you cant uncover lies via an email.


Don't get upset. And if she tries to throw you out, DO NOT GO! Tell her no thank you. And don't allow her to take the kids.

You did great, mfoss!! Now call the OM!

I think I am going to be able to stay calm, but it depends on what happens I suppose.

She just got home. She seemed kind of stressed. She has had a lot of calls and messages on her phone while she was at the movies. She is checking her email now, might be a few juicy ones in there too!

Tries to throw me out? Of my own house? I DON'T THINK SO.

There does not seem to be consensus on whether to email OM. I have to confess, I have something drafted, and I think I should just go for the full monty. But appreciate advice as always.

I can't call the OM, as I do not have a number, and he is not working today. Plus, since he works in retail, it is kind of awkward. Plus, I know the owners, and I would feel bad doing that to them.

I will add a line to my email about how it is highly unlikely he is getting the full picture.

Let her take the kids? HAHAHAAHAHAHHHAAHAHA

I don't know if I can stop her from talking to them. I will suggest that she not, especially if she is really upset.

mfoss, my sisters and I chased down my sister's OW. We gave it to her. All we heard from sister's WH was that OW wants nothing to to do with him now that his crazy-a$$ W and sisters confronted her.

I on the other hand texted with my H's OW. Not really much effect at all. THey continued contact.

Talk to that weasel in person/phone!!!

The best advice I've seen in response to the fireworks created from exposure is:

"I will do whatever it takes to save our marriage"

be a broken record with it as needed, and don't engage in her anger.


You've been doing awesome, keep it up! Stay strong!

mfoss, you need to TALK to the OM and compare stories to find out what he is being told. You can't do that in an email. Did you keep the talking points I gave you?

It would also be helpful if some family members visited/called the OM. We have one FWW here whose mother called the OM and scared the crap out of him. He dumped her that day!!

I will have his number in a few days. As much as I want to send him the email, I will hold off for now, I think. One motivation was how freaked out she was last time I mentioned I was going to do this.

so, when she eventually gets to talking to me (I imagine she is emailing OM now), should I open with the fact I told the kids?

mfoss, you can call him at work tomorrow. Or drive to his house tonight. Do you know where he lives?

Why don't you let her bring it up with you. Don't try to reason with her. Just tell her that everyone should know about the affair, especially the children since this affects their life too. tell her she can explain to the kids herself why she is busting up their family for an adulterous affair.

Tell her you will not cooperate with any separation schemes, you will only discuss fixing the marriage. If she wants to "separate" she will have to be the one who does the moving. And without the kids.

You are doing great! Be strong and don't allow her to scare you with her anger.

I have to second my sister, SusieQ, here. Confront OM in person!!! The actual A died that day we confronted her (and later in the same day, when I confronted my H, then did a nuclear exposure).

I heard gossip that OW threatened to file a police report against us for 'harassing' her. We had a laugh at that one.

I have been lurking for a while on your thread. I am amazed at what is happening with you. Keep going, and stay strong! Whatever she does, don't show fear. It will not last long.

Confront OM! Drive there tonight if you can and tell him you are FIGHTING for your marriage.

Update, still have not talked with WS about things. She has been avoiding me a bit, and spending some time with the kids, having a shower etc... (she slept at a friends last night). Kids in bed, let's see what happens. She is planning on being on the couch here tonight.

mfoss, please listen to me: I am rooting for you. You are in the position I wish I had been in. Call it living vicariously through you, if you want.

So far, you've been doing great! Yes, it took a little cattle-prodding at times, but that's to be expected. Now, here comes the big test.

Keep your mind focused. Tell yourself, "this is not my wife. This is an alien being who has invaded her body. I will not allow this alien to bait me, sucker-punch me, blindside me or attempt to otherwise keep me from my purpose." Whatever she says to you, just remind yourself that IT'S ALL A LIE.

Smile, be noncommittal, do not get angry, vengeful, arrogant or patronizing. This is NOT your wife.

Stay in this frame of mind, and you will be on top of the situation and no alien being will be able to out-think you.

Go for it, my man! I'm counting on you!