I HIGHLY doubt she slept at a friends last night, mfoss. Why in the world would she sleep away from home? She is flaunting her affair, mfoss, from your home. You have to put a stop to this. This is unacceptable for her to be catting around like an alley cat in heat while she lives with you and your children. That is outrageous. And it needs to be exposed everywhere.

I would let her know that everyone has been told about her adultery and tell her you know she slept with the OM last night and that this is UNACCEPTABLE. If she wants to sleep with the OM, you can change the locks and tell her everyone will know, even the kids. Your kids need to know this is WHAT she is doing all night.

ok, I am still in SHOCK. mfoss, your wife was out whoring around all night long and comes sauntering home the next day and you act like nothing's wrong?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? What in the world is going on?

Fred, I certainly hope things work out, and appreciate your support.

Melody, I know she slept at a friends, as I talked to the friend this AM (and exposed some good stuff). This is more of an emotional affair at this point (although I wll not be surprised at all if there are things I do not know), but it is an affair, and it does not make it any less intoxicating for WW. Sadly.

Anyhoo, back to work!

She has no reason to sleep away from home other than an AFFAIR, mfoss. You have been misled.

Not buying it! Was the OM there with her?

No, he was not.

It is a *really* good mutual friend, who disapproves of her actions, even more so now that she has ALL the truth. WW left here and went directly there. OM was also working last night.

Why is WW not wanting to sleep at home sporadically, I don't know, but she is not really balanced right now. I am sure she wants to reinforce it is over, so the relationship can be further enabled.

Kids are in bed. Finally we talk. It comes up one of her brothers has called her, "surprisingly". I mention it is not a surprise, since I spoke with him earlier today. Alien mode ensued.

One thing she said "I need to talk to my family and others as you are talking [censored]". I said, actually, I would love for you to talk to your family, in fact, many of them feel like you are avoiding them. Specifically, these three people I spoke with today feel like you are avoiding them.

"Who?"

named three people. alien mode.

I went to the bathroom at some point. Came back to her on the phone crying waving me away.

She still does not know the kids know.

I will let the veterans correct me, but I think you should not be "leading with your chin," so to speak, but rather let her discover who has been told. Your job at this point is to Plan A her big time, while deflecting and avoiding Love Busters (LB) and Disrespectful Judgments (DJ). The sunshine on the vampire should come from every direction BUT yours. If she confronts you about blabbing, you should simply acknowledge it and then change the subject.

Didn't I read someone give the example, "But honey, I thought I was just spreading the good news! Want a potato chip?"

I feel that I should email OM. My reasoning is to "flood the zone" and create the most amount of stress that I can on that relationship, RIGHT NOW. Lots of other things are "in the mail", but I feel I have a chance at making him bail out now if I hit him, even if it is email.

I dont know about a physical confrontation. I am not afraid of it, but it seems hard to pull off anytime soon.

what do y'all think?

Cool, and very helpful. I want to avoid LB, hence my motivation to hit OM through email. I can see her mind explode as I offer to do nice things for her, and offer that I take responsibility (but not blame) for the situation.

Veterans?

I also have reason to believe OM is getting some chills in his feet, and I want to strike now.

Never forget -- not for one moment -- that your WW is in a fog. THAT'S why you can expose on one hand and Plan A on the other. She wants to be very selective in what she sees, hears and believes. If you deny something, she'll think you're lying. If you agree with her, she'll get angry. There's no point in be logical with some who has let all logic fly out the window. Expose from one room and Plan A from another...

ummmmm...excuse me? You think sending him an EMAIL is "a strike"????

oooooh a scary email????

GET SOME BALLS AND CALL HIM...TELL HIM TO STAY THE F AWAY FROM YOUR WIFE.

That sounded harsh....but really MFoss -- you need to be stronger in a man-to-man situation.

Be the alpha. This is your WIFE.

Ask him what his intentions are with your wife? Tell him you are going to destroy his world the way he has destroyed your childrens'....Tell him to stay away from your family....

I dont have his number. This A is less than two weeks old, and he is getting chills. I am balancing:

- not hitting him for a few days, but on the phone
- getting him now, while all the other exposure is happening, I feel he may just bail, and job done; I can always call him in three days as well if needed

But, I am asking y'all cause I don't know!

More alien interaction. Nothing notable, other than, "would you like a potato chip"?

NOW. And in person, all the better! POSOM probably will freak out when he sees you, and tries to run away.

You have nothing to fear as long as you abide by the law (not breaking/entering, battery/assault, etc).

That's exactly what OW did when we drove up to her house, just as she was driving out. She RAN. We chased her down to a gas station, and we confronted her there.

Emailing him is not going to do the trick. It's not going to scare him away. Doing it that way actually seems wimpy, if you ask me.

mfoss, please ditch the email. He will just laugh and send it around for his friends to laugh at. The best plan is a face to face visit or a phone call. Nor do I believe for a second that this is a 2 week affair.

mfoss, exposure is a lovebuster, but if you don't do it right and do it effectively, you will have lovebusted TO NO AVAIL. If you are going to do it, then there needs to be a PAYOFF. There is no reason whatsoever to send the OM an email if has no effect. What will have effect is a face to face or a phone call.

Face to face or a phone call seems unlikely in the near term, so email is my only option in the next few days. I have gone through the swing of emotions about seeing him, and I would be ready to do it if I could get him.

I do know with a high level of confidence the facts about the term of the relationship.

I also know he is wavering already, and I want to push him. I am not sure if he know his work knows, and I would like to tell him that. And other things. And as soon as possible. Hence my thinking around the email.

But I hear you guys, and I trust you. So keep the advice coming, and I will keep trying to make it happen one way or another.

Just had an idea to get his number. In progress. Thinking outside the box.