I'll be there. You'll be able to recognize me by the knife sticking out of my back. Just laid dowm $75 for a digital recorder. I hope I have an opportunity to plant it tonight.

I bought 3 for $55 each. And I plan on getting another one for the other car. Plus - I am going to get eblaster 2nit - another %$100 out of my allowance. But all worth it if it works.
I also mentioned the forensic software (on this post or another). It has a 7day free trial but if you want to buy it, it costs over $1k. Not going to get that. If the trial can grab the recent deleted txt from her phone, that should be fine.

It is amazing to me that with the thousands of people from all over the world posting on this site, that there are at least 4 of us in the No. GA area all being connected by similar circumstances. Is it something in the H20 from Lake Lanier?

Linus,I wonder the same thing. It's crazy. It must be a local virus or something. I'll see everybody in the morning.

In an earlier post I stated Williams Brothers BBQ was in Ballground, it's actually in Canton. My fingers outran my brain.

Topic of the day.
How much info did you compile before you busted your wayward spouse? When you finally did lower the boom, how did you do it?
I know we are all here to try to save our marriages, but you have to think of yourself also.
I believe you have to pray for the best but plan for the worst. Are you supposed to wait until you think you have an ironclad case for divorce, one that gives you the best possible outcome in court? If you jump on your spouse sooner than you should you might miss something. If you wait to long your wife/husband just slips farther away. It�s a double edge sword.
At this point I still want to save my family. But I�m realistic enough to know that I might not be able to. If I can�t I don�t want to get reamed in court.
Where do you draw the line? Thanks.

In my case, it worked the other way around. WW first told me she wanted out of the M. The next day, when I asked her if there was someone else, she simply said "yes."

It was only then that I went into detective mode. It wasn't but a few days later when I deduced the identity of the OM, and when I presented her with my conclusion, she admitted to his identity.

Not until I came to MB did I go into snoop mode, as exposing the A was deemed a critical part of the recovery process.

WW and I had already specified a date on which she would move out, signed a Separation and Property Settlement Agreement (SPSA) and were on the fast track to D.

Even though MB taught me about infidelity and how a WS thinks, and it gave me hope that the M could be saved, the reality is that I think WW will never want to come back, even after the A ends. And I have reached a point of my own that makes me doubt that I could take her back -- that I don't have the patience or fortitude it takes to build a new relationship.

That part saddens me, but it's a reality I have to face. I have six months from D-Day to wait it out and see what happens. I think that if there is no change in status by then, I will go ahead and file and continue to build the life without WW I am starting with Plan B.

I had compiled quite a bit. My keylogger includes screenshots, so I had lots of shots from FB that showed messages back and forth before they were deleted. I copied and pasted everything (screenshots and keystroke logs) to a Word doc and saved it on a secure drive. I updated it daily.

Finally, after a few weeks, I couldn't take anymore. I printed out one particular set of messages where they both sounded like 12 year olds ('we were meant to be together', 'I want to be the one who kisses you awake in the morning (him to her) and other garbage that made me want to gag). I should say they never ever had sexually explicit chats. But the stuff was bad enough. I put the printout in a sealed envelope and put it in my desk.

I then told her we needed to talk, and told her that I felt like OM was still interfering with our relationship (she had claimed that their contact was minimal, and he was only listening to her as a 'concerned friend'). She said that there had been no contact for 'a while'. I asked her to look me in the eye and tell me there was nothing more going on and that contact was over. She said yes, it was over. I calmly got up, got the envelope, gave it to her and told her she should take a look at what was in the envelope. I told her to then destroy it so our kids wouldn't see it. That led to an ugly, long session where everything came out, and I said that if we were to have any chance at all and we were going to continue counseling, all contact with OM had to stop.

I'm making a long story short here. It really was a miserable day. But, she took OM off of her FB 'friends' list, blocked him, and ended contact that afternoon. She immediately entered the withdrawal stage, and that hasn't been fun, but we're making progress. This was 3 weeks ago and there has been no contact with OM since. I think my exposing her as a liar that day finally struck a nerve. We never discussed where I got the information, and I still have the keylogger doing it's thing to this day.

One final point - she has a sister who lives close to us, and who was aware of some of what was going on. Her sister and I have had confidential talks about our situation also, and I trust her. She's been supporting me as much as she can. The day of the blowup, WW went to her sisters and told her that she realized how out of control things had become, and was ending the 'friendship' with OM for good.

Time will tell.

Yes time will tell. I have to control the almost irrepressible urge to spill my guts, to let her know what I know and what I think. I just got off the phone with her mother; her entire family is working with me. Her mother agreed to turn her away on confrontation day; because that�s the first place she�ll run. She said that she can�t come home until she has a change in her life, keep in mind her father is a preacher. That will help my cause tremendously.
I am like you though, the damage is done. Can it ever be fully repaired? No, I don�t think it will ever be the same. Even if we reconcile, the scar tissue will always be there. And I don�t know if my wife�s guilt will ever let her recover. She hasn�t just quit me she�s quit her daughter, her home, everything that was once important. My wife�s normally southern accent has actually changed in the last 3 months or so. Is that not crazy? She is a different creature; if I knew I had to live the rest of my life with this alien I would grant her a divorce tomorrow. It�s a wonderful world we are living in.

i am glad your in-laws are there to help you. i wish more people were like that. it does help a lot especially if the WS has no place else to go. My xWH parents told me he is an adult and they would not interfer with his choices even if they didn't approve of them. Two years later they are telling the OW what they told me about her being the daughter they never had. It is very reassuring to know that there are some parents out there willing to help when it matters most. I think that too will help you with recovery.

Dropped the bomb last night...not good. My wife admitted to everything. She said she is in love with this guy and doesn't care if I know or anybody else for that matter. I am physically sick. It all came out last night, she told me not to worry about it, that she didn't mind taking the blame, it was over for us long ago, we should have never been married to start with. I didn't realize that I could hurt so much. God help me. My family is in ruins.

Another befogged WS, reading right from the "script."

I'm sorry you're here, going through this, TTF. This is the place to vent, cry, hurt -- and recover.

The good people here will hold you, hug you, and help you understand and heal.

And if you let them, and if you want it, and are willing to go to the needed lengths to get it, they will help you recover your M.

The choice is up to you.

Time to cut her off financially.

The affair can't be fed whatsoever.

Sorry it's gotten this bad TTF, but just remember that a lot of what you're going to hear from WW is fogtalk. She's in shock right now because her fantasyland life has been exposed. Fred is right - it's from the WW 'script'.
Hang tough, my friend. You have help and support from a whole lotta really good people on this board. I know it's not much right now, but it will help.
Do you have a pastor or best buddy that you can talk to?

TTF- don't give up man. Keep reading. This is the same "fog speak script" that my WW is currently saying. This is normal WW behavior.

Thanks everyone, I have taken all the money out of the account,I also canceled her internet (Blackberry is in 1 million pieces). I am having a real hard time, the stuff I read on her facebook pages are etched into my brain. I'll never look at her the same again, I just don't see how it's possible. She's already called me this morning wanting a new phone. Can you believe it? I told she was welcome to a new phone but I had a block on the internet. She pitched a fit and said she would open a new contract, I told her to have at it.

Stay calm man. No angry outbursts. I think you are right to do the things you are doing, but try to do them calmly. Stay in control. Expect her anger and stay one step ahead of her.

Remember WHY you are trying to save your marriage. She is following the script. Hang in there.

Don't pay for ANYTHING any more, except food in the house that you also eat. She pays for gas, she pays for phone...she wants free of you, let her see what that really means. Let this wonderful man pay for all of it.

Did you expose?

You need to do it TODAY, before she calls everyone and tells them the 'good news' and tells them all it's all your fault. Once she does that, no one will listen to your side.

The reason she says that she doesn't care if you expose is to prevent you from doing it. RIGHT NOW she is implimenting damage controll by telling EVERYONE you are abusive and insane.


The evidence needs to come to light immediately, even that she will claim is fabricated.

I did expose. Her parents, my parents, brothers, sisters. I'm talking to the Pasture at 3:00. She was mad, very upset that I talked to her parents. She said it was her place and I had no right. I told her she lost all her rights when she stepped out. I'm sure she wanted to tell them to put her own spin on things. I cut her off at the pass. My daughter also heard the whole thing go down last night, not what I wanted, but it forced WW to tell her the truth.

I'm on my way to pick up my daughter and to go see the Pastor. I would like to ask everyone to please pray for my family. Just mention TTF tonight and He will take care of the rest. Thank you.