Some men clearly need to go into Plan B sooner, but TTF is only upset because his wife is angry about his interference in her affair. There is absolutely no reason to go into Plan B NOW just after he has struck a lethal blow to her affair.

No Melody, maybe I misrepresented myself. I don�t want to quit, the fact is she said she is moving out and taking our child. I�m not going to let her take our child out of her home without a fight. The compromise that I spoke of was one I thought I might present to her if it came down to it. I have to seek legal advice on this in the morning. Realistically I only have until tomorrow evening to get all my ducks in a row. She plans on leaving on the 30th.
I am not going to let her leave and then come back home as if it were a normal thing. So in my mind there can be no more plan A if she follows thru on Wednesday. Please give it to me with both barrels, I need it. If I am wrong please set me straight.

My bet is that she goes nowhere. You've blown up the affair - great job. Just my .02

TTF
I think you are doing the right thing for now. Consulting with an attorney to get your options should be paramount to determine what you can and cannot do as far as DD goes.

Did you take the vehicle yet? If she is planning on leaving Wed.? You are making the right moves dear friend. Just stand firm. Keep us updated.

But, if she does go through with this rendevous, then I would plan B.

ok, that sounds better. Her real plan is not to leave at all, but to get away for a few days so she can meet her lover on New Years Eve, then return afterwards because she "has second thoughts." She is thinking she can then come back when he is gone and make this right. So, if your plan is to prevent that from happening by obstructing her return, then I think that is a good idea.

However, do her parents know that her plan is to move in with them for a couple of days so she can carry on with her affair partner FROM THEIR HOME? Does everyone know she plans on meeting up with her OM on New Years Eve? Does your daughter know?

Yes everyone with the exception of our daughter knows. I am waiting to tell her, just in case it doesn't happen.
Unless something major happens, the car goes bye-bye tomorrow evening. But I have a suspicion that the trip may have been called off. I don�t have any proof just a gut feeling. We will see.

Good lord, my mother has just dealt another blow to my wife. WW went to pick up our daughter at my parents house, and went inside�.big mistake. My mother called her into another room and very tearfully asked for an explanation, keep in mind I�m 40 years old.
She basically got all the fog speak, she heard how it was mostly my fault, how WW had to cheat to find happiness. WW told my mom that she couldn�t understand why I just wouldn�t let go.
My mom is in her late 60�s but make her mad or hurt her and she turns into a stick of dynamite. She told me that she pretty much unloaded what she had been holding back for a long time. That�s good, it gives WW one more thing to dwell on, one more thing to ponder in her own little universe.

*BUMP*

Good for your Mom. I doubt that it will have much impact on WW right now, but it's another message that she can no longer have her fantasy world.

Good for your mother!! Doesn't matter if you are 60, TTF, she is still your momma! We have had mothers and dads of WS's here who actually busted up the affair with their actions. MrsW's momma called up the OM and threatened to call the mafia on him. THE AFFAIR ENDED THAT DAY!

TTF, your job is to cause as much conflict as possible in your wife's affair. What are you doing to that effect? I would tell your DD about your wife's plan to go see the OM over New Years and ask your wife to explain her actions to your DD. Please don't make the mistake of whitewashing your W's actions to others. Everyone should know what she is planning. Protecting your wife from the consequences of her actions is not helpful.

In fact, I would tell your DD one and one and then, while together, tell your wife you have told DD her plans to meet her adultery partner at the airport and ask her to explain to DD. <----say all this in DD's presence. Your W needs this wake up call, TTF.

What do her parents say about her plan to hook up with her OM? What are you doing to cause conflict in her affair?

TTF, I agree, you need to FIGHT the affair on all fronts. I know it's hard as I'm doing the same thing. I know that if I do nothing the M is over. If I fight, there is a chance. Full on exposure is having an impact on my WW. It's not working as quickly as I like and right now, it may even be driving her closer to OM. I'm not worried about that because I know the A will end on it's own because it is based in fantasy.

Your WW needs to feel some ramifications to her adulterous actions and exposure is the best way to accomplish that.

Keep the pressure up on that end, and be the best husband you can be on all other matters.

TTF
Where have you gone? You were supposed to have talked with an attorney yesterday a.m. How did that turn out?

Is anything new going on? Give us an update?

Your wife could very well choose the nuclear option over recovery as now it's too humiliating to admit she is wrong to you.

I am the poster child for when exposure goes terribly awry.

Bump - hoping for an update from our friend TTF soon

Good morning to all my friends, it�s been a rough couple of days for me. I apologize for bumping my thread and then leaving it, I had every intention of returning here after I met with my lawyer Tuesday morning. I also appreciate everyone�s concern. Like I have said before; I don�t know where I would be without this place. I love you all.

Things have taken a turn for the worse for me. I met with my lawyer Tuesday morning to find out just exactly how I should approach the �trip situation� and the �car situation�, and to find out what my rights are concerning my daughter. He advised against taking the car, he said that withholding property, even in a situation like this, is usually perceived as malice and is normally frowned upon highly if I should make it into court. He also said that my wife and I have equal rights under the law concerning our child, so, she can in fact remove her from the home if she wants to. However, on the other hand, so can I.

My wife is gone�. She disappeared Tuesday evening. She is, as we speak, somewhere in Tennessee with her lover. She was supposed to pick up our daughter Tuesday evening but failed to show. They have spoken twice on the phone since Tuesday. Last night when DD finally called her, she was checking into a motel. Yes, the 12 year old had to call the mother, not the other way around.
I have not told my daughter yet that the reason she couldn�t go with her mother, she was very upset last night and I did not want to compound it. She thinks she is on this trip alone�finding herself. I have to tell her today though; it�s the right thing to do.

At least my wife took me seriously when I told her she couldn�t drive our family car�..she bought a new car! She left �our� car sitting in a parking lot somewhere close to where she works; I have to go pick it up this evening.

That�s enough about me, how are you today?

I'm very sorry TTF, but there is a silver lining to this. It will be very easy to convince a judge that your WW abandoned your DD in this situation. She was supposed to pick her up, then didn't, and didn't call either. I know it sucks, but it will make things easier for you down the road.

WOW - this is not what I was expecting and certainly not what we were all hoping for, TTF. Well, maybe the vets could see this coming. I really thought you had done a good job of blowing up the affair. She's really gone off the deep end, I think. I feel so bad for you and your daughter.

I'll let the vets take it from here as far as next steps. I'm glad you met with an attorney - seems like you'll need one.

Just know that your friends here have your back. Stay in touch and we'll support you as much as possible. God bless, buddy.

TTF,
I'm so sorry for your situation. I'm glad you are telling your D12 - she needs to know what is right and wrong. How did your WW buy the new car and under who's insurance is it?

GG

I�m not sure how she managed to come up with enough credit to buy a car. It is more than likely she went to one of those �Buy Here - Pay Here� dealers. The kind that doesn�t check your credit, they charge you buy the week, and charge ridiculous interest. I don�t know that for a fact, that�s just my theory.
I have to call the insurance company today to see if she put her new car on our policy.

I have decided to file myself as soon as I can come up with an extra $982.00. I feel like if I file now while she is in happy land I will have a better chance of coming out of this thing with my scalp. If I wait until their pretty little fairy tail implodes on itself she may not be as agreeable.