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cat i succeededin downloading..the last step is flxispy on the currently locked pager which i will not mention until i have a plan in place and it's very quiet here...
BW:34
WH:37
M 4 years, together 8 years
D-day of third EA with a coworker 1/6/10
PlanA 1/7-16/10
PlanB 1/17/10
~starting 16 months of grad school 1/9/10-will require class attendance 9-5 on 2 Saturdays and 2 Sundays every month
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Maybe before discussing the pager with him, you could tell him the plan to recover your M would require him to be transparent with you, not to hide anything and to be open and honest.
If he agrees with this, then I would bring up the pager, asking him to give you the password since he has agreed to hide anything anymore.
If he won't give you the password, I wouldn't even bother giving him the pager back..
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he just came home to bring me a coffee and i was on VP with the OW's 'best friend' talking about how he made a oopsy email inended for me that he sent to OW. i explained ot him that he didnt betray his best friend by telling me that OW is a shameful and why did she do that. she is denying EA--full tilt and is using my confrontation with her that day as means that said 'we worked it out' gonna call him back since WH went to food store and walmart now.. brbr
BW:34
WH:37
M 4 years, together 8 years
D-day of third EA with a coworker 1/6/10
PlanA 1/7-16/10
PlanB 1/17/10
~starting 16 months of grad school 1/9/10-will require class attendance 9-5 on 2 Saturdays and 2 Sundays every month
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susie Q im worried abut the time frame of opeing-addressing pager issue and making sure it gets installed with flexispy--its almost like i want to go to sprint and tell them to unloack it i will read everything, download flexispy then read the messages with him together....
but, techincally i need him to give me the password..so if he agrees and we read messages together and then he must give it back to me until at least we talk to dr harley, i would then have it and succeed in downloading flexispy by that time...
i think we'd need to change his pager email address, since he will have to work and use the pager for work...until he finds another job...
BW:34
WH:37
M 4 years, together 8 years
D-day of third EA with a coworker 1/6/10
PlanA 1/7-16/10
PlanB 1/17/10
~starting 16 months of grad school 1/9/10-will require class attendance 9-5 on 2 Saturdays and 2 Sundays every month
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Monitor all communication accounts secretly for a long long time.
Contact your service provider to get the pager unlocked. Because you are the owner of account they should help you with any monitoring issues I would believe.
Husband must see that any attempts on his part to act like a sneak will result in you treating him like one. Hence you must be allowed to watch him untill he earns trust.
You are standing up for yourself now and you have many ppl on your side supporting you here. The technical help for installing keyloggers would have to come from other ppl here but I am sure there will be help soon.
Me 56 Former BS Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years. 4 children DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4 Me former BS DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr DSs 26 and 23 Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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Sort--I successfully installed keylogger on his computer. done.
my KEY point here: getting him to tell me the password and reading the messages together would be better than me going to sprint to get the ager unlocked--RIGHT??
Soort--you said "you must be allowed to watch him until he earns trust' meaning thats the message to WH but i'm stalling spyware to watch him in secret... if he betrays me while I watch him secret... I'm gonna hold that for now...
but I know it must be secret because if he knows I have spyware he will use another means...i realize spyware on computer and pager allows him a 'chance to prove himself' and its really that its no way of hiding anything (comfort for me--security blanket) but if I bust him on something... that is what I struggle with... i'm trying to wrap my brain around this...
BW:34
WH:37
M 4 years, together 8 years
D-day of third EA with a coworker 1/6/10
PlanA 1/7-16/10
PlanB 1/17/10
~starting 16 months of grad school 1/9/10-will require class attendance 9-5 on 2 Saturdays and 2 Sundays every month
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Posts: 134
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I have appointment with Dr Harley on Monday. I made another appointment with a local signing counselor that WH knows for many years due to that counselor's position at our work.
I feel we should session with Dr Harley and then we should session with Dr New England and then we as a couple make a decision who we should continue to see for marriage counseling.
The way I see it, i am getting what I need from the MB and its my style, books reading but his style is not books and reading and the relationship and comfort WH feels with having Dr New England means he would probably be more committed to Dr New England's counseling than he would to using Dr Harley's approach. I can continue my own Dr Harley sessions probably and stay in this MB community, and we could see Dr New England for couples counseling.
feedback???
BW:34
WH:37
M 4 years, together 8 years
D-day of third EA with a coworker 1/6/10
PlanA 1/7-16/10
PlanB 1/17/10
~starting 16 months of grad school 1/9/10-will require class attendance 9-5 on 2 Saturdays and 2 Sundays every month
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Makes sense.
Hmmm, a signing counselor? My D19 took Sign Language for 3 years in high school, and she's in college to become a counselor. Never thought of that... She always wanted to find a way to incorporate signing into her career.
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It is a very much needed professional position our there, but very overrated in state agencies(they cut anything most costly right away). Look into private counseling practice. Unless D19 wants to risk lay-off with every budget dive...
BW:34
WH:37
M 4 years, together 8 years
D-day of third EA with a coworker 1/6/10
PlanA 1/7-16/10
PlanB 1/17/10
~starting 16 months of grad school 1/9/10-will require class attendance 9-5 on 2 Saturdays and 2 Sundays every month
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Well, she's actually planning to go into psycho-something or other research, more so than counseling. But I'll be sure and point it out to her.
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 deaf people at large need more qualified signing professionals and it'd be a very valuable service! why is it so quiet here? i feel sorta lonely...
BW:34
WH:37
M 4 years, together 8 years
D-day of third EA with a coworker 1/6/10
PlanA 1/7-16/10
PlanB 1/17/10
~starting 16 months of grad school 1/9/10-will require class attendance 9-5 on 2 Saturdays and 2 Sundays every month
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The Leopard had a deaf patient and worked very hard to get signed A.A. meetings established. She's still involved in that, I think.
If I could just get her fog-addled mind back to pre-A state...
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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why is it so quiet here? i feel sorta lonely... On our way home from work. Travel time. TTFN
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Hey plexie you are on the right track yes.
I would get software on the pager AND see if he will open it up for you too.
Point being that that if you have software you can monitor him and see ifhe is hiding stuff from you. The stuff he lets you see compared to the stuff he deletes and hides.
Don't feel bad if that happens BTW its common and refered to as "In the fog" here.
I am glad to see that you have gotten some rest Plex.
You are heading in the right direction. Remember recovery is not an event but a process. As time moves on you will get a better handle on your life and the emotional stuff will take its place.
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is anybody here?? 
BW:34
WH:37
M 4 years, together 8 years
D-day of third EA with a coworker 1/6/10
PlanA 1/7-16/10
PlanB 1/17/10
~starting 16 months of grad school 1/9/10-will require class attendance 9-5 on 2 Saturdays and 2 Sundays every month
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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Posts: 6,870
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LOL this guy is so cute. PPl are around Plexie
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Its 2 AM gonna get some sleep as I hope you are also Plex. Will catch up some time tommotrow
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Hi, Sort. I have slept about 4 hours. I am going to bed now. WH is definetly going thru withdrawal but he is making effort...Its looking like a see-saw...up n down... *hugs to MB peeps* I have Grad School 9-5 tmrw and Sunday!!!  its the only thing that is gonna keep me busy and sane and doing something for the greater good of myself!!
BW:34
WH:37
M 4 years, together 8 years
D-day of third EA with a coworker 1/6/10
PlanA 1/7-16/10
PlanB 1/17/10
~starting 16 months of grad school 1/9/10-will require class attendance 9-5 on 2 Saturdays and 2 Sundays every month
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Posts: 134
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hello, checked kylogger on WH computer, found 2 sentences, ;my pager is taken;
after i went to bed "don't email me, wait til i email you, WIFE might will check my computer!!!!"
Last edited by Plexle; 01/09/10 06:47 AM.
BW:34
WH:37
M 4 years, together 8 years
D-day of third EA with a coworker 1/6/10
PlanA 1/7-16/10
PlanB 1/17/10
~starting 16 months of grad school 1/9/10-will require class attendance 9-5 on 2 Saturdays and 2 Sundays every month
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