Hola, you don�t do anything to make her vent her anger. You just continue making yourself a better person, a better father and act as though you are ready and prepared to take over the family if she is not going to be a part of it.

She has to face her own demons. You cannot do it for her. remember, act detached.

After all she engaged in the affair without asking you for your opinion, didn�t she?

Thanks, I will do that.

Today, she is not talking to me again. She does not look that upset though. She did went out and come back looking happy. I think she went to see OM again, every WED at least. I know I am suppose to try to stop their meeting but I have works to do and if I ask her she will just deny it. In notable post, one of them say don't interfere with A, it will die of natural death. Is this the time to do that (not interfering) since A was exposed? However, given the length of time they were dating (1year), and how long WW tried to get him notice (2-3years), this A would be called entrenched, right? So, I guess the question is what to do with on-going A? I will have to compete with OM but do I interfere too?

Anyway, she just send me an email with an article about letting go of loved one. Depressing, isn't it. She seems determine to leave.

Is there something I can do to stop feeling hurt, anxious, and tired all day long?
At least posting her make me feel a little bit better.

That is interfering with the A. As long as you tell her that the A is hurting you and the children and the family you are interfering. Of course you interfere always, in the sense that you do not facilitate the A. You will never be able to stop her from seeing OM by just telling her not to or locking her up, but you ALWAYS insist that the A is hurting your family.

According to Harley you follow a plan:
1st plan A in an effort to break up the affair and give your marriage a chance and also to prepare for plan B. From what you�ve said you were not the perfect husband before. your objective in plan A is also to become the best husband you can so that if you do go to plan B she will have that image of you as her last one. If you do not go to plan B then you will be in much better conditions to remake your marriage, a new one with better chances of happiness.

Plan A only works to break up the affair in 15% of cases.

2nd you go to plan B. When you find you can no longer tolerate plan A you give her a plan B letter and YOU HAVE NO CONTACT AT ALL with her while the affair is on going. You have to prepare for this.

So where are you in these plans? How long do you think you will keep up plan A? Are you preparing for plan B? In your case it means having someone to help you ith the children, you also need an intermediary so that your wife can visit them, etc.

Hola check out this excellent post about loving detachment made by Bob Pure:
loving detachment

OK, I sometime say it but she always said then we should be divorced. Then I just let it go.

I am still writing Plan A with the outline you gave me. I wrote down earlier that I will do it for 4 months (6 after D-day, but 1 months was wasted without MB). But I think I might do it longer.

But I think I should be prepared for her quick escape. From what I read, I can still do plan A but not very effective, right? Do I go to plan B directly? Anyway, I think her Aunt can be the IM. I still have to think about how to keep the kids with me though...and the financial thing... I just want her out of being angry with me first.

Hola, she will be angry with you as long as you are her perceived problem to not getting her way with the affair, so forget it.

you can�t have her happiness (affair, OM,) and YOUR marriage. It won�t work will it?

Always interfere and never finace a WW's affair.

Time for a real time GPS hidden in WW's car so you will know where WW goes on Wednesday.

Hi, she wrote me an email again. This is depressing. I guess I should not have reply to the first one she wrote to me. The one with the article.

She said that I am still living in the past. I should accept the current situation. To her, it is clear she do not want to be with me. She never love me and we don't have the same thinking.

She said that her love cannot be created because all the time she try she never loved me. The real problem is that we should not have married. Everything in the past of our relationship means nothing to her.

She does not want to stay with me anymore. The problem is not the other man. The only problem is that she never loved me and don't think she will. She only stayed for the kid in the past and will leave one day anyway. She want freedom.

She never loved me.

This looks bad. Same stuffs she said on D-Day but more hurtful. This does not look like she is in the FOG. I am quite sure that she fell out of love before the A. What should I do? At least, I would like to ask her to stay for a few more months. I am also worry about the kids.

She is in the fog, hola. Trust us.

Fred, it is definitely time for a drive-by-pie-ing. You choose the flavor.
You pay my airfare to Va., and I will pie her( maybe two pies,one for each fake boob).

I just called her. She said that it is good that I told her father. Now she does not have to tell him herself. She don't want to talk to me since I just try to get info and use it for my own gain. I did not do what I promised. (I might have promised her that I will not tell more.) She said nothing change except she does not want to talk to me now and hang up.

....

OOPs. I meant to post that on Fred's thread. hola, we can drop a pie on your wife, as well.

Will try. But she only walks, taking taxi, or train.

OK. I have been reading Fred's thread too.

And Hola,

They ALL say they don't love you or never loved you....it is part of the script (the lines all of them say).

Yes, I have seen it here many times. But what if it is true? Looking back, I am sure my wife fell out of love with me even before we get married! I am just too stupid to fix it then (10+ years).

What if it is true? Should I change my plan? I have read some post/article here about wife check out of marriage. Should I try to include solution to that problem too? But again, the Vets here would say that there no change with OM in the picture right?.

Hola, what if the moon is made of green cheese? What if pigs could fly? What if a politician told the truth?

Do not waste your time worrying about "what ifs." Your job right now is to focus on "what is."

Hola,

Stick to your plan.

Stop the "what ifs".

Be consistent in your plan. Whatever happens YOU need to know what YOU want to be as the head of your family.

You have not been the head of your family uptil now. It�s time you become that. Think of your children. What kind of example are you for them?

ccbis, you are right!

I will need to start to be the head of the family. I will need to remember that. I have been relying too much on my wife. I need to make sure we can go on living even without my wife. I have to keep that in mind!

That�s right Hola.

Your wife is not leading the familyin a good direction. You have to take over.

and if she leaves, well, you�ll have to deal with that for your kids sake.

But wouldn�t you be a better father than the OM your wife is into?