Yup, thats just you.

We have seen thid many times over the years.

She has not filed by now, she is not going to.

If it's true that her hair was always like that, and it was just trimmed, AND you've never complimented that look before when she's gotten back from the hairdresser, your words may come off sounding phony to her.

Compliments are most easily accepted when they come off sounding sincere and without ulterior motives behind them. I'm not saying you're doing that, I'm just saying she might think that if her hair really has always looked the same way. Careful not to go overboard on the compliments.

Ugh. Now you probably feel like you can do nothing right. Sorry, Jonpen. Keep plugging.

(I'll put $5 on she doesn't file, who's in?)

I'll put $1000 down. Shoot, even she just said she wasn't filing. Quit worrying. Your anxiety only will make the situation worse. Project confidence.

no her friend said she doesn't think she will file not my WS.

my WS has never once said she is having doubts about filing. Everytime she talks about it to me or her friends it's like it's already a done deal. when she says "I still don't have an attorney" and "I can't believe I'm going through this D" etc...
Her friend is the one that doesn't think she will file but her friend also said be ready just in case because she still might.

Nobody knows what my Ws is thiking except my WS. The only thing I go by is the fact that you all have seen this SO MANY times I know that you all know what your doing.

Plan A is becoming harder and harder, because I have days that I just can't get the images of them out of my head, and the thoughts "what if he was better than me" "what if it was the best sex she ever had" and on and on..... Some days I feel alot of love for my WS other days I feel hate for what she has done.
Emotional rollercoaster is a BIG understatement. I'm just so glad I found you all. Thanks for all the advice and keep it coming please

Remember the words of wisdom uttered here frequently:

Don't trust a wayward by their words. Trust them by their ACTIONS!

There is a simple explanation, there is no D!

People have a hard time "Believing" things they Know not to be true.

For example.

I cant believe I am going through a doctoral program at MIT, I have not even bought my books yet.

Why cant I believe this?

Because it's not true...

Good advice guys, you all are awesome I mean it's like im 98% sure she is going to file and you all are 100% sure she won't LOL. Do the images of them together ever go away? I mean the chat log between them was VERY detailed and explicit, there was nothing left out. I guess I will worry about that when or if we get to the intimacy.
So are you all saying she won't file or she won't go through with the D? She is back to the in between mood today, she isn't overly nice but she isn't REALLY mean either.
We have to ride together to go get our other car out of the shop and it's the first time we will have rode together since the A.
I am going to invite her to come with me and the kids to go eat.

The images will fade with time and R. I've got voice mails, texts, emails, handwritten notes and phone logs. I used to carry them around with me, reading them over and over. Go ahead - ask me how many minutes they talked on the phone on, say, November 19. Now ask me how many times I've looked at them this week (Hint: 0). After a while the images lose their shock and power over you, and you realize that playing the images over and over isn't a safe pastime for you. It will happen.

Hi Jon,

"What ifs" are simply self-inflicted pain in our situation. If you find yourself thinking that type of "what ifs" just stop and try to think in what a better person you are becoming.

Unfortunately, in a WS's mind, the sex with OP was indeed the best they ever had. So you shouldn't beat yourself anymore with that one since it's probably a fact that your WW thinks he is the best.

The chemicals in her brain that caused the addiction make it feel that way. Plus the secrecy and forbidden factor create sensations that she probably never felt before. That's why As that reach PA are more difficult to break and the withdrawal takes longer.

The good news is the prospect of R. With MB there's hope of creating a M with romantic love that will surpass the illusion of the A.

--ElCamino72

Why?

Well it was in his jeep in the parking lot and she only had the big O 2 times, I usually do better than that (close your eyes mom)<----she is following along in our posts anyways...
Everytime me and the WS talk on the phone and we are getting ready to hang up I catch myself almost saying "bye I love you" because it was so routine. I have only told her I love her when we have deep conversations which is VERY rare because I avoid those now. I know that she knows I love her even without me telling her.

We all went out to eat as a family and I had her laughing and she was even joking around with me this time, but I could tell she felt ackward the whole time. Then she went to Wal-Mart and called me and asked my opinion on a toy for one of the kids.
We are VERY low on $$ right now, so should I do anything for Valentine's day? I know she won't be getting me anything, and I really wasn't planning on getting her anything. What do you vets say?

Because she keeps mentioning to her friends how stressed she is about not having an attorney, She has brought it up to me a few days ago, but now that I have the advice to not listen to a WW's words but look at her ACTIONS, her actions are saying she probably won't her words are saying she certainly will.

Why don't you and the kids make her a valentine?

Something very small and thoughtful.

That's the WS talking. Then your real wife takes over her body again for a while and acts nice. As long as there is NC w/ OM and your are doing a good plan A, you'll see less of WW and more of your good wife. After a while of making your plan A changes permenant, WW will vanish away forever. WW is the one that wants a divorce, good wife doesn't.

There is another forum right here: Ideas. It has subsections: Creative Affection, Birthdays, Free/Low-cost dates, and more. I'm sure you can find an idea there...

I think I will do Bliss's idea and make her a Valentine's card from me and the kids. and JMWC thats a good way of looking at it, I never thought of it like that. You all give the best advice and there would have been no hope for saving this M without you all. It's still going to be a LONG and SLOW painful road but I'm in this for the long run.
Do you think somewhere in that dark clouded mind of hers she is thinking about trying to work things out with me and save our M? Everytime she makes plans etc she always ask me if it's ok just like she used to did. She also calls me "to check in" when she is out. She only does this when she is in good wife mode. she is starting to come around, slowly but surely.

Something odd just happened. When my Ws came out of her room from break (she's at work) she was wearing 2 rings on her wedding ring finger, I couldn't tell if they were her wedding rings or not but from the glimpse I got of them I dont think they were. She saw me notice them and went into the other room and switched them to her other hand..... not sure what this means??

It means you need to relax and stop over-analyzing everything. Who knows why waywards do the things they do.