Yeah I agree, *Takes deep breath* She went out to the movies with 2 of her friends tonight, So again she won't be home til probably midnight
I put a voice recorder in the car so I hope it can catch her conversations, I hid it really well, so now I anxiously await tomorrow's results.
When she made the plans earlier she was saying things like "your not mad that I'm going are you"? then right as she left she said "thanks for letting me go out". She wasn't in as nice of a mood today but she was still nice compared to usual.

Today was the first day we went out as a family since this happened, and again we had a really good time, but I could tell she felt ackward. We only went to eat.
Just curious what does D-Day mean when you all refer to it, I thought it meant Divorce Day, but I must be wrong.

Another thing, I am going away on vacation with my brother for the weekend, should I call her when I'm there like once a day just to "check in" or should I just let her wonder what I'm doing?

Prepare to hear lots of fogged out babble that is very painful or even continuing contact with OM.

Just be ready for it. Expect the worst.

What would you normally do? Do that.

Don't let her thank you for 'allowing' her to go out with her friends unless going out meant some sort of sacrifice on your part, like cancelling . You didn't allow her. She knows that. You know that. She's 'allowed' because she's an adult. For crying out loud. She's making the marital playing unlevel when she does that.

I said "you know I don't care if you go out, I hope you all have a good time" I stayed home with the kids so she could go out. NORMALLY I would probably call her alot while i was gone. Should i be telling her i love her, it's kind of something I was avoiding because i know at this point if i said it she won't say it back and that would just cause me ALOT of pain.

No!

God's Blessings,

Say

LOL, thank you Say

Show her in any way that she will let you, Jon but hearing the words will make her feel guilty and angry. I wouldn't let my BH say the words until he had shown me that he loved me by his actions for a long time. I think that people involved in affairs begin to realize the power that those three words hold. When she gets to the point that she needs to hear them, she will let you know.

God's Blessings,

Say

I just got back from my vacation, My WS called me a few times while I was there. My older brother is having a birthday party for his little girl and he sent us an invitation with her name on it. She said she will try to get off work and go though I doubt she will. Am I right in thinking the more she gets around my family again the better?

She hasn't seen my older brother since the A and he is VERY religious and she is afraid he will hate her or judge her, even though I told her my family doesn't hate her. She got online and ordered a gift for my brother's daughter.

she seems to be slowly coming around my family, and she was was excited because she found a rare item on ebay and bid on it within like 2 mins and won the bid. I told her how good of a job she did by winning it, and really praised her for it.

I recorded a show we used to watch together and told her about it, she seemed a bit skeptical about watching it with me....who knows. I found a note she had written to herself that said "just be nice and always be kind. Your attitude in life determains your altitude in life". Well just thought I would share the latest news, hope to hear from you all soon.

Last night I thought I found rolling papers in the bathroom trash, I asked my WS why there was rolling papers in the trash and she told me they were little papers that went over her new makeup brushes, I felt so dumb.
We laughed about the whole thing, and it wasn't made into a big deal at all.
She is still being very nice, but she may just be trying to get me to go along with the D... who knows. please read through my last couple of post there is a couple of questions in there I am curious about. Thank you all.

My WS got this in her facebook inbox today. This is from her best friend, whom is D and is trying to get my WS to get the D by telling her "you would be so much happier" Here is the note in her inbox today,

I hate that about your car. but your right when it rains it pours.... I hope everything works out at work. I will keep my eye out for you. I gave up on my married man he would only talk to me when he was at work and Rylee was at school it just got old. I am talking to Brad again I don't know if I ever told you about him but he is 33 and drove a racecar. He has changed alot but I am still not sure that he could ever be a long term relationship. Just give Chris time. I am sure things will be fine. Any guy would be lucky to have you. Keep me posted on everything. I love you too!!"

When it refers to Chris, that is the OM.... please help me guys this was the most discouraging thing I've seen in a long time.

This is obviously not a friend of the marriage and might be someone you cut out of your WS's life after she decides to reconcile. Don't worry about it. As long as there is NC for a prolonged period of time and your keep your plan A changes permanent, you are fine.

Thank you Jim, I appreciate the encouragement. I know you are recovering your marriage, so your advice is most helpful along with everyone elses. She has not spoken to this friend until this happened, but growing up it was always her best and closest friend. This friend has multiple boyfriends all the time. I am doing an awesome plan A and my Ws is slowly coming around more.

She is constantly showing me toys for our kids that we can get them for b-days and v-day etc.... she ordered my brother's little girl a present for her B-day. She calls me to check in when she is out now, she undresses in front of me, but when she talks with her friends it's like I'm the worst thing on the planet.

I think her being nice to me is just an act though, she still has her wedding rings off and won't sleep in the same bed with me. I have a plan and I will be sticking with it, at least she's not being evil at the moment....

Keep doing the awesome plan A. I know for myself, it's so hard to bite my tongue when my WW goes out with her "just do whatever makes you happy" friends. I don't recall you mentioning if was hard for you or not, but if it is, saying something to her will not go well.

Also, maritalbliss is right, don't let her make it about you "letting" her go out.

Her friends she goes out with the most actually want her to work things out with me, but said they would support her either way. she doesn't ever go out with the anti marriage friend they just talk on facebook. I can't let her know I am watching her facebook so theres nothing I can say. I will just keep doing what I'm doing and pray for the best.

He wouldn't happen to be a poorly tattooed felon who pushes a lawn mower for a living, would he?

nope, but he might as well be. she is back online looking up sagitarius love horoscopes again, thats what the OM is.

Hey, that's who my wife is "seeing" *cough*. Not named Chris though. Must be Chris's brother or cousin or something =)

Hey vets, can you please skim over my last 10 posts or so there are still some unanswered questions in there. Thank you all.

She is being guarded and so must you. Got to wait her out. Til she jumps ship, comes back, or you can't wait anymore.

she is back to being in a bad mood today. She asked me to go get her a drink on my way back from carrying the trash out at her mamaws which is our neighbor. I said "I don't mind to go get it but I already carried the trash out" She said "oh don't worry then" I said "do you want it"? she said "thats a very stupid question to ask if i want it" real rudely. then I just stood there and didn't say anything and she told me I gave her an evil look....I didn't even look at her.
I was smiling and being calm the whole time but she was being very rude and has been in a BAD mood all day.

I told her to go take a nap and I would watch the kids because she is kind of sick right now...and not just mentally
I am also cooking us dinner while she is taking a nap.

Looks my the good ole evil WS is back...