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just waiting for our copy of SaA to arrive from the US publishers and no bookstores in Aus keep them in stock. Not sure if this is available down under, but SAA is available as an eBook through Amazon... The US linkOoooo, thank you Fred, I didn't even think to look for ebook versions, and I was under the impression you had to have an actual Kindle for the Kindle Books, but turns out you don't. Will def mention this to WH so we can get working on it faster. He might not be interested since we've already paid for the Hardcover version, but no harm in letting him know. Sooner the better in my mind.
BW (Me) - 32 WH - 29 2 DD's - 4 & 7 Together 9yrs; Married 3yrs OG - 17 EA/PA 1/09 - 2/10; D-Day #1 10/01/10 D-Day #2 2/02/10; N/C Est 2/02/10 One day at a time
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Thanks BK and Road, I really do appreciate your insights.
BK, he hasn't expressed an ounce of annoyance or frustration with my questions, but has said that it upsets him a little because it brings his own feelings of shame and guilt to the forefront again, but he's also acknowledged that those are his to deal with and not mine. I'm just wondering if I'm hurting myself more than helping myself at this point.
As Road said, hard to recover if I'm bringing it up constantly and making us both hurt. I think I'll def take the advice to write them down and leave them for a specific time, after re-reading them to make sure I actually want to know. You're correct Road, it's not actually trickle truth, I just didn't know how else to phrase it
BK, he's reading alot on MB, but trying to avoid the forum to give me my space. He knows I'm posting here and doesn't really want me to worry about what I say in case he might read it. I have suggested a few times that him posting here might be helpful for him also, but he hasn't chosen to do that and it's completely up to him if he would like to or not.
We're following the plan for recovery, just waiting for our copy of SaA to arrive from the US publishers as no bookstores in Aus keep them in stock. H answered all of my questions about the A, but of course there were additional things I felt I needed to know as we began R. I haven't heard of any BS's who got all of their questions answered in one sitting, since it takes some time to process everything. Please do write them down. It is counter-productive and can be a LB to blindside him with them. My H hates it when I have a question because it does bring up all of the old feelings of guilt and shame, but he knows I reserve the right to ask anything at any time. I am also careful about my reasons for asking and whether it's just 'picking at the scab' because I think a negative consequence of asking could be bringing up memories of the A that I don't want him to dwell on. With that thought in mind, I sit on the questions until I am sure I need to know the answer. Keep a memo book in your purse and jot them down as you think of them.
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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We're following the plan for recovery, just waiting for our copy of SaA to arrive from the US publishers as no bookstores in Aus keep them in stock. You'll find most of Dr Harley's books at Koorong - www.koorong.com.au - I got most of my books there after d-day.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW) D-Day August 2005 Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23 Empty Nesters. Fully Recovered.
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We're following the plan for recovery, just waiting for our copy of SaA to arrive from the US publishers as no bookstores in Aus keep them in stock. You'll find most of Dr Harley's books at Koorong - www.koorong.com.au - I got most of my books there after d-day. Are they written in Australian, BigK?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thank you BigK, I'd never heard of that one before and always love knowing somewhere else I can buy books. Being in the backwoods part of Aus can be a real pain when trying to get your hands on things.
Thanks MB, it really really helps just knowing I'm not alone, that other people understand and know exactly what I'm going through.
I'm in a much better frame of mind today. WH and I had a good talk last night, and I got to see MY husband for most of the night, not the stranger he'd turned into. The personality change while the A was going on was so complete it was scary sometimes. His eyes even changed colour, our 7 year old commented on that just a few days ago, asking if Daddy's eyes had been blue when we met, and when I said yes, she said she was glad they were blue again, she didn't like it when they were green.
His driving has become sane again. He'd gotten so aggressive in his driving that I was almost terrified to get in a car with him, let alone allow our girl's to, and his temper is mostly back to pre A state, he's not angry all the time anymore.
It's funny, I'd noticed all the personality changes, even that his eyes were more often green than blue, but I'd never really realised how bad they were until they started going away.
I think I'm finally starting to believe that we might really be heading into Recovery, seeing the man I married finally start to come back. We have a long road to walk, but at least I can start to think we've taken the first steps.
BW (Me) - 32 WH - 29 2 DD's - 4 & 7 Together 9yrs; Married 3yrs OG - 17 EA/PA 1/09 - 2/10; D-Day #1 10/01/10 D-Day #2 2/02/10; N/C Est 2/02/10 One day at a time
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Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW) D-Day August 2005 Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23 Empty Nesters. Fully Recovered.
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Jes thought I would point out that Dr H speaks ENGLISH!! We are American, after all...
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW) D-Day August 2005 Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23 Empty Nesters. Fully Recovered.
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Does he speak the Queens English or that silly Yankee American version?
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW) D-Day August 2005 Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23 Empty Nesters. Fully Recovered.
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Does he speak the Queens English or that silly Yankee American version? I am the only Queen in America, silly! And down here we speak TEXAN!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Good thing Dr Harley isn't Texan
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW) D-Day August 2005 Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23 Empty Nesters. Fully Recovered.
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why oh why do we let these silly foreigners into America?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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why oh why do we let these silly foreigners into America? Imagine how boring life would be without us around to amuse you?
BW (Me) - 32 WH - 29 2 DD's - 4 & 7 Together 9yrs; Married 3yrs OG - 17 EA/PA 1/09 - 2/10; D-Day #1 10/01/10 D-Day #2 2/02/10; N/C Est 2/02/10 One day at a time
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why oh why do we let these silly foreigners into America? Imagine how boring life would be without us around to amuse you? This could be true. Imagine my amusement when BigK and his wife came to my house in TEXAS and watched their first VIAGRA commercial. [I thought they were going to cry laughing! ] And it was amusing when American cashiers asked them to pay and they carefully counted out their American coins and then asked the teenaged cashier "is this right?"
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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And it was amusing when American cashiers asked them to pay and they carefully counted out their American coins and then asked the teenaged cashier "is this right?" I gave up with that. I just used to hand over my purse and ask the cashier to take the money out herself. And I nearly DIED having to watch Viagra commercials sitting next to my kids in the hotel room.
BW Married 1989 His PA 2003-2006 2 kids.
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And it was amusing when American cashiers asked them to pay and they carefully counted out their American coins and then asked the teenaged cashier "is this right?" I gave up with that. I just used to hand over my purse and ask the cashier to take the money out herself. And I nearly DIED having to watch Viagra commercials sitting next to my kids in the hotel room. There's Viagra commercials on TV? Well that just makes me want to take a holiday just for the laugh factor! Oh my goodness, I can't stop giggling just thinking about it. It feels so GOOD to just laugh. Can't remember the last time I giggled like this!
BW (Me) - 32 WH - 29 2 DD's - 4 & 7 Together 9yrs; Married 3yrs OG - 17 EA/PA 1/09 - 2/10; D-Day #1 10/01/10 D-Day #2 2/02/10; N/C Est 2/02/10 One day at a time
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And it was amusing when American cashiers asked them to pay and they carefully counted out their American coins and then asked the teenaged cashier "is this right?" I gave up with that. I just used to hand over my purse and ask the cashier to take the money out herself. And I nearly DIED having to watch Viagra commercials sitting next to my kids in the hotel room. The only downside is that BigK REFUSED to let us take him to OUTBACK Restaurant and take his picture!! Disappointment was our lot in life!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes Mel - you and MrsW were never going to achieve that goal! Blooming Onions indeed.
Last edited by bigkahuna; 02/09/10 10:01 PM. Reason: spelling dammit
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW) D-Day August 2005 Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23 Empty Nesters. Fully Recovered.
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I see you are still in bloomin onion denial!! We Americans know a thing or two about a thing or shrimp on the barbie!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I love "shrimp" on the barbie!
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW) D-Day August 2005 Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23 Empty Nesters. Fully Recovered.
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