Um, no you will not be kicked out. File first and you'll have the power of the situation--he or she who files first usually has preference.

Has it not occurred to you that SHE can leave?

It is HER AUNT'S house. I have already spoken to a lawyer about that. They can make me leave, I cannot make her leave.

Do you have a backup plan in case they do make you leave?

You could see if she would leave on her own...but you already know not to leave yourself unless ordered by a court.

she won't leave no matter what. i do have a backup plan, it's in my previous post from today.

This wouldn't be very smart of them. A good lawyer could make this really blow up in their faces. Since you are a SAHD and primary caregiver, kicking you out is not in the best interests of the kids.

Look at it from another angle. How would it look to the courts if Mom and Dad were living in Dad's parents house, Mom stayed home with the kids, Dad fooled around with the secretary at work, and when the poop hit the fan, dad kicked mom out of the house because it was his parents?

Sure, they may kick you out, but you may be leaving with custody of the children if that happens. You don't care about the place where you stay, you care about custody of the children. Go talk to another lawyer, one that is a bulldog.

So what do you all suggest I do? I want to go to plan B ASAP. Trust me I understand how it looks, but getting the courts to understand is hard. they can see it from only legal stand points not whats "best".
this is a tough situation.

Also did you all read my post from last night about mine and the OM text conversation?

Unless you don't give a rats behind about losing custody of your children, do not move out and go to plan B. Suck it up for your children. If you move out, you will be relegated to an every-other-weekend dad. Since you and your WW are so young and don't have that many years together, I doubt a plan B will work UNLESS there are some serious consequences for getting divorced (i.e. loss of primary custody and a big child support payment). If you leave for plan B, since your WW is so young and immature, if things w/ OM1 don't work out, she'll just move to OM2 instead of working things out with you. At this point, your focus should be on your children. Do you want OM in your house raising your kids or some other man? I know you want this situation to resolve itself yesterday, but I hate to tell you this, it ain't getting better anytime soon.

As for OM, don't get into texting wars w/ OM. I would rather hear about conversations with OM's wife, parents, siblings, etc. Exposing to them would be more productive than talking to OM.

As for the courts, you are pretty much a stay at home dad that watches the kids while your WW goes out every night as well as spends the night elsewhere. You are in a position to get AT LEAST 50/50 AND child support unless you screw something up. Don't underestimate your legal position.

Jonpen, to repeat what's been said here before, just in case you didn't see it:

It is possible to live in the same house and work Plan B.

You just don't meet any of her EN. You stay as far away and interact as little as possible.

Period.

Yes Jon! Stop asking this.

No one just logs on and reads the last post, we go back to the last post we read and start from there.

Jon, that text exchange with OM was a mistake. He was trying to bait you and get Intel from you.

Here is a few things I can tell you.

1. OM is not divorced, and does not want a divorce.

2. OM came up with the "I fear for my life" Idea your WW is using.


Jon, there is an alternative to all this.

If you are ready, go file for divorce, list adultery as the reason why, and file for temporary custody. You can do this at the courthouse today for less than a C-note. But I highly recommend using a lawyer. Do not tell anyone you are going to, but on the day the papers are filed (Before WW is served) go tell her aunt you filed, and why, so that WW has a harder time spinning this as being your fault.

If you are ready to file, then GO FILE ASAP!!

I had never heard of a stay at home plan B. Thats sounds more like plan 180. I am staying at home, why do you all keep thinking I am leaving, I say over and over I am not going anywhere. Yes I WANT to go to plan B but I can't until I get a court order saying I am kicked out.

We got alot of money back on our taxes and she was real happy about that. She came over and gave me a high five when I told her how much we get back.....This being the day after she was worried for her life.

She told her family that I am bi-polar, one day I will be really nice the next day I am mean... thing is I am never mean, angry, hateful or rude anymore. I am stern when the need arises but never mean.

I still want to save my marriage, I will still keep fighting to keep my kids out of a broken home. Do you all reccomend the in home plan B?

There are plenty of examples on this board of stay-at-home plan B. Just start a thread titled, "How to plan B in the same house." You will get answers from plenty of fathers that did it to preserve their custodial rights. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOME.

Right now, however, I would focus my energy on further exposure to establish NC w/ OM and that includes his wife, parents, and siblings. If you can get the contact eliminated, you won't have to worry about plan B.

I have majorly exposed to them already, I am still awaiting those results. I just exposed yesterday again, this time it was BIG! What is the success rate for in home plan B? I am trying my best to get the contact eliminated.

The success rate of all plans is dependant on soooo many factors, Jon. This has been your problem since the very beginning. You not only have expectations for every move you make, you want to know your odds before you start. You need to decide on your plan of attack (A,B,D) and follow through with it regardless of what your crazy WW says or does. Stay in your home, work on yourself, make as warm and loving an environment for your kids as you possibly can. It is no wonder that your WW thinks that you are bipolar. Me too.

God's Blessings,

Say

Really Jon?

Really?

It has been mentioned several (Like 20) times in this very thread!

Pay attention!
We are trying to help you!

Stick to ONE plan, and one only.

Is the in home plan B the same as the 180?
I do listen to all of your advice, and I am paying attention. i may sometimes say I want divorce, or say I can't stand to be near her, that is me venting, I have stuck to plan A this ENTIRE time. Does anyone know of an in home plan B thread anywhere?
The no contact lasted for a onth, and I hope by me contacting his wife again it will put an end to it once and for all, but I doubt it will.

I rely on you all to tell me when you think it's right for me to do certain things. I don't know if I should start the in home plan B yet or if I should keep up plan A. I know she notices my plan A because she is telling her friends "I don't understand why he is so nice knowing I don't want to be with him" etc...

Open a new account in your name only. Once the check clears your joint account, transfer it all over to yours.

No jon.
180 is not an MB plan.

There are a few threads on here where Plan-B was implemented wile living together. But unless someone has a link to it, you will need to search for it.

No Jon, you started trying a 180 for at least a few days. This makes you look unstable to the WW. Many folks on here have done Plan-A as long as 6 Months!
Some even longer.


If contact has ended again, Plan-A. If not, it may be time for Plan-B.

1. Your wife told her family you are Bipolar, have you spoken directly to them about this?

2. Have you Explained that WW is continuing to contact OM and is trying to continue her affair?

3. Have you told them that OM is also married and has children?

4. Have you told them AGAIN of your wish to save your marriage?

5. And, have you spoken DIRECTLY to them (Face to Face) about why you cant leave the marital home (Abandonment) and the possibility of WW moving out if she wants to continue her adulterous affair? And yes, use the word adoultry, do not try and make this out to be somthing it is not.

Good, stay the course. This will make Plan-B or Plan-D more affective if it comes to it.

Are you reading other threads on here Jon?
Are you learning from others experiences?
You need to!

I do browse others threads from time to time. See my WS and the OM were texting back and forth and I put a stop to that, the OM or my WS will not even know that they can't text or call each other, it doesn't give any messages saying the number is blocked

I'm not sure if I have totally stopped contact but I am sure that I made things alot more complex for the both of them.