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You did very well...showed him there is still hope...
Now it's up to him.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Monday nights are family games night. So as all Mondays, I am going to play some games with them. I vote for a good ol' fashion game of hide-n-seek. In the dark. With flashlights.......  not2fun
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I don't have any expectations about it at all. I know this was nothing more than it was, to show WH that there is still a small crack open that he can walk through if he chooses.
I just want to be honest about what is going on so others who may be lurking and feeling the same things will know that they are not alone. That's what helped me when I read other people's threads. Especially Mimi's thread. I don't remember who bumped that thread for me a long time ago, but thanx.
The dreams came back in full force yesterday and today. I wake up liking the dream, but they are always about WH coming home and when I wake up and realize that it was just a dream, I get a little sad. I do find myself getting distracted more often and not thinking about him every second.
This time around, the withdrawal isn't as bad. I am over wanting to contact him again.
So, a Plan A thing I will do for my boys tonight is that I will make stuffed shells for dinner tonight. My kids love the ricotta cheese part of lasagna so I thought I would try it.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Monday nights are family games night. So as all Mondays, I am going to play some games with them. I vote for a good ol' fashion game of hide-n-seek. In the dark. With flashlights....... not2fun That's a good one. I will add that to my list.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I vote for a good ol' fashion game of hide-seek. In the dark. With flashlighighs. 
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Prince has a decent recipe for stuffed shells on the back of the box 
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The kids LOVED the stuffed shells. They ate them right up and their is enough leftovers for tomorrow night too.
We played a couple of rounds of Hide n seek in the dark and I had a BLAST. The kids are so funny. It's not a big house, but in the dark it is so much FUN. The first time I hid, DS9 was IT. I went in to the bathroom and opened the shower door and closed it hard. Then I hid on the other side of the bathroom. He said to DS7, "I know where she is." and when he came in to the bathroom I grabbed him and screamed. He laffed.
Then DS7 was IT. I opened the basement door and closed it and then hid in the laundry room by the back door. They looked all over the house for me until they found me.
After that scare fest DS9 was too scared. But DS7 said he wants to play again tomorrow. It was GREAT.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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We used to play a game like this.
Our dog at the time, Buffy, would always lead "it" to the hiding places. 
Wagging her lab tail at a hundred miles an hour.
Happiest dog in the world, doubly happy to help "it" find the hidden family members.
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We used to have special times when the whole fam would "camp out" for the night in the LR and put on a movie till we went to sleep. Cheap and the kids felt priveldged but could only do it on weekends.
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I will think about doing that some time during march break.
So today, I have been feeling a bit low again. I think the "high" of my close encounter of the wayward kind has taken it's toll. It of course isn't as bad as the withdrawal form when he first left but it is still hard. I even caught myself checking the boys' email account to see if he contacted them. It was more for me than for them and I decided that was a bad thing to do.
Refocusing. So a friend of mine said to me today, "I thought you wanted to write." I said, "Yea but I SUCK." She said, "A lot of writers suck at first, you have to write to get better."
I went to the library with my other friend and looked for some more interesting books to read. I am currently finishing the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. It is a good series. Is there any suggestions for some really good books?
I think I am a little down today because I haven't been sleeping very well either. Or maybe I haven't been sleeping well because of my feelings. Well I don't know but I am definitely going to bed early tonight.
WOOOOHOOOO Page 126, that is one of my favourite numbers.
Last edited by Scotland; 02/23/10 07:29 PM.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I will think about doing that some time during march break.
So today, I have been feeling a bit low again. I think the "high" of my close encounter of the wayward kind has taken it's toll. It of course isn't as bad as the withdrawal form when he first left but it is still hard. I even caught myself checking the boys' email account to see if he contacted them. It was more for me than for them and I decided that was a bad thing to do.
Refocusing. So a friend of mine said to me today, "I thought you wanted to write." I said, "Yea but I SUCK." She said, "A lot of writers suck at first, you have to write to get better."
I went to the library with my other friend and looked for some more interesting books to read. I am currently finishing the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. It is a good series. Is there any suggestions for some really good books?
I think I am a little down today because I haven't been sleeping very well either. Or maybe I haven't been sleeping well because of my feelings. Well I don't know but I am definitely going to bed early tonight.
WOOOOHOOOO Page 126, that is one of my favourite numbers. Read stuff by Anita Shreve. HEr writing is so lyrical it makes me want to sing.  My favorite is 'Fortunes Rocks.'
Last edited by SmilingWoman; 02/23/10 07:35 PM.
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Scotty, what kind of books do you prefer?......if you want something totally relaxing, light-hearted, and just plain fun (you know, the kind to get your mind out of the drama that surrounds you but not so deep you have to concentrate TOO much....), then I recommend the "Confessions of a Shopaholic" series. It may not be the deepest piece of literature out there, but it was a fun read.... if you want something a bit deeper and meaning-filled, I recommend "Divine" by Karen Kingsbury....... Not2fun
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The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
I loved this book.
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"My Sister's Keeper" by Jodi Pocoult
I've loved mosu everything by her. "The 10th Circle" is kinda out there though...
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If you want to write
start blogging.
It is a good way to practise the craft.
You can blog short stories, poems, editorials, etc.
I would suggest just skipping the whole marital thing in it for now so that it is an escape.
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Hey Scotty - writing has really helped me out in the last few months. Oddly enough (since I am a computer guy), I had to write with a pen in order to deal with certain things. It feels good, and I encourage you to do it!
I had to surrender caring about judgement in order to really express myself, and I would suggest that you do the same.
_________________________
BH=36(me), WW=36
DDay: Dec 4 2009
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I agree with short stories to start. Sorry your feeling down
Me 56 Former BS Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years. 4 children DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4 Me former BS DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr DSs 26 and 23 Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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Think of 3 blessings God has given you, and 3 things about yourself that are wonderful. (Hint: any of us could think of many more than 3 about you.)
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Don't worry about me, the sadness has since passed. I think it was just to be expected though. I read Mimi's thread from start to finish and I know that every time she slipped in her Plan B, she felt horrible after.
I really don't know what kind of books I am in to yet. I didn't much like reading books when I was younger. I liked Shakespeare, Charles Dickens and Stephen King(really weird combo, right?). I read the Twilight series last year(all my friends thought it was awesome). I loved it. Even better is that it got me in to reading. Since then I have been reading whatever I could. I even got a library card and I always have a book out.
3 things I am thankful for. Well I will of course say my kids. My Friends are a true blessing. I also have a house(it is a HOME).
3 things about me that are wonderful. I am HE-LAIRY-US. I am kind. I am STRONG. I am LOYAL. I AM WONDERFUL. Geez am I full of myself or what? HAHAHAHAHAHA
Gotta get the kids.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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