Just so you know, this is a pretty classic tactic used by waywards as cover to justify a rendevous and avoid consequences. [which worked!] This is just a manipulation to continue her affair. And yes they did sleep together. This time and next time, and the next and the next...... The affair will continue until you do something to stop it.

They excuse it as a "final goodbye," which is really irrational when you think about it. One does not need to see someone to close the door........they close the door. My strong suspicion is that they slept together and will likely be doing it again. [her word on this is meaningless] What this meeting did was simply fan the flames of her addiction and I predict you haven't seen the last of this. Giving the benefit of the doubt to an addict who will lie to pursue her addiction is not wise.

I'll see your strong suspicion and raise it with total certainty.

The red flags in that last post were unbelievable.

They will be communicating very deep and dark now. The how they do it was planned on Friday.

That is probably why she had such little reaction to the destruction of the pre-pay phone.

I was thinking the same thing. A new plan has been hatched...

From the new book by Dr. Harley Effective Marriage Counseling pg 94:

"Granted, there are situations when demands may be necessary in marriage. During a spouse's affair, for example, I recommend that the betrayed spouse demand there be no contact with the lover. If there is continued contact, separation or even divorce would be the logical consequence. While normally demands don't work, in this case there are no reasonable alternatives because thoughtful requests are even less likely to separate lovers."

This affair is on going. Needs a nap. Lets you have the phone without a fight.

Did this guy ever do a full exposure?

Schtoop,

I've got a bridge to sell you if you are interested.

Did you take her panties from that night and put them in an evidence bag?

Will your WW agree to a polygraph?

Sounds to me like OM was bragging about his latest conquest about how he completely wore her out.

"Closure" meetings almost always lead to sex, even if it is in fact the last time they see each other, you know, "one last time for old time's sake."

I wouldn't believe her bogus story at all.

Wow. That might be a record for shortest NC ever.

Well it was a final goodbye. For February.

Now it's March and there could be a handful of goodbyes still required. Saint Patty's Day, Daylight Savings, First Day of Spring, Palm Sunday, Passover.

So many goodbyes, so little time.

schtoop,

You have to realize that you're dealing with an addict. Every time is supposedly their last time. That's how they self-justify the continuation of their horrendous actions.

On D-Day, I discovered countless messages from WW saying to OM "this is our last time". Same thing time-and-time again. She even asked me to let her have a last meeting with OM for closure.

Perhaps the smell test is to ask again your WW to write a NC letter (?) If she refuses (which is very likely), you proceed with nuclear exposure. Or better yet, go nuclear NOW - it seems like your WW is very deep in the fog and is reading right out of the Sneaky WS Tactic Manual.

--ElCamino72

Well like I said earlier, I am pretty certain Wayzilla and Gollum tried "closure sex" at least twice before she made her great escape for freedom and independence.

Now she's probably having to use extreme "enclosure sex" just to keep him and his money.

A key thing to remember when dealing with waywards is to only look at their actions because their words are meaningless.

Lets look at the ACTIONS of your WW, schtoop: she went to rendevous with her lover, getting all prettied up beforehand, and then came home and "needed a nap."

When you brush away the foggy narrative, all you have is a sexual encounter between 2 adulterers.


And this makes no sense either because they are not "friends," they are lovers.

Call this pile of infected camel foreskins back and make it clear you are going to be his worst nightmare.




Not that I have heard Pep. He has not made an honest adulteress of her yet.

I am sure she is trying every...um....trick she has to get it though.

Can we have a show of hands of everybody who thinks this was truly a "closure meeting?"

tap... tap... tap... tap...

I thought so.

Oh, schtoop. Is that you?

I don't know, Fred, Shtoop has been doing it his own way now for more than a month. I'm just poppin some corn so I can sit back and watch what happens next.

God's Blessings,

Say

From Krazy's new thread:



Sorry we did not see this coming earlier and warn you Shtoop. What a surprise.




What's your plan? Just curious.

OK, here's the deal.

I knew that there wasn't a very good chance that my wife was telling the truth about their last encounter, nor about her newfound committment to NC. Her story registered just as high on my BS meter as it did yours.

However, there was a small chance.



I CHOSE to give her this final opportunity to end it on her own because the rewards of doing so would have been that significant. I made a WILLING decision to give her that chance, as unlikely as it was and would do so again.

So what's my plan now?

Like I said, I have the credit card statement showing she was at the bar he frequents on Friday night, when she said she just hung out at a friends house. I also swiped the receipt out of her purse that verifies the purchase of another prepay phone. I have not let her know any of this yet.

I talked a good bit at our MC session on Monday about feeling "anxious" about leaving her alone for the weekend just to see her squirm. She acknowledged that my anxiety was understandable given the past events, but didn't react much otherwise.

Today I am going to get a voice activated recorder and stash it in her car. I think that's where she holds a lot of her phone conversations and I can get some good info there. I NEED to better understand the dynamic of their relationship. Is she keeping him in the wings until I pull the plug, so that she doesn't have to be the "bad guy"?

I also get clues that she is very much the instigator in this relationship. She is in a fantasy world about how they "connect", where I think he is much more casual about things. She seems to be puppy-dogging after him.

Depending on what I find with the VR, I am prepared to go into plan B. I will draft the letter, then leave it for her as I take the boys to my mom's house for a weekend. I know that she will refuse to move out, so that's where I'm unsure how to play it. Right now, SickofLimbo's 180 plan is the only way I've found to implement plan B under the same roof.