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I got news that a position in the place where H and me work will be opening and that is the very position H was hoping get and he has a master degree he just finished that is exactly in that field. The big boss and my H's supervisor(they both know about my H's A and the unloyal way he dealt with me...)will be doing the hiring. My H does not get along with neither of them, especially his supervisor. The big boss, a woman whose H betrayed her and had kids with OW, I think is pretty biased against my H, but she is also a person who is very difficult to read and who would make impreditable decisions. You never know...H is good at what he does and he might land the job which would pay pretty good money....plus it will make him stay in the workplace when I was hoping he would leave and seek fortune elsewhere.
Is there anything I can do to make it hard for him to get that job, or it is just better to let it go and hope that, since nobody likes him he will not get it?
blessing


atena
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Originally Posted by atena
Is there anything I can do to make it hard for him to get that job, or it is just better to let it go and hope that, since nobody likes him he will not get it?
blessing


Do nothing, not even thinking if he gets it or not. Why not getting a degree for your self ?.

-rh-


Give your absolute best such that you could look back 10 years from now w/ no regret.

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atena Offline OP
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I am getting one-
blessing


atena
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Good for you. I am also glad that you are active on posting to others.

I got mine while licking my wound from D. This forum & getting my second master degree kept me sane.

-rh-


Give your absolute best such that you could look back 10 years from now w/ no regret.

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thank you red hat, I am getting my first master, I would love to get a PhD. I always tell people that if I win the lottery I would get as many degrees as I could. I love to study....
blessing


atena
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A few days back I said I was going to put 100% effort to avoid WH at work.
Well, I am running into him all the time.

All last week and now I started today, Monday, where I was climbing the stairs and he was right in front of me. So I slowed down but then a collegue came up from behind and started to talk to the both of us. She does not know we are separated I guess, or she does and wants to be difficult. HOwever I kept my cool and did not respond to the collegue I let my H answer and he mubled something incoprehensible.
Then after lunch he was talking with a collegue right in front of the office I work in. Fortunately this collegue knows, but I was 2 inches from H and still managed not to make eye contact.
I think this is seriously jeopardizing an already very improbable recovery! But I guess it is what it is.
Also,I was talking to an older collegue last week and she told me I look much better and less sad. She also said that I should be happier without my WH as she always felt from him a very strong sexual vibe and availability. In other words, she said: he is the only guy at work who you know you could sleep with any time if you wanted to. He just gives off the vibe: I am available if you are. And being very handsome you can imagine the results. This is a punch in the stomach but also another wake up call in case I needed any more of them.
This guy was truly a womenizer and a disrespecful b@stard.
And he has the guts to think it is all my fault if the M collapsed.
This makes me soo upset I can't even breathe....
Sorry, I really had to vent.
Blessing
PS: Yesterday, strangely enough I met OW walking with a girl friend (not with WH)in a place where you would never run into anybody...a very crowded street in a huge city. I was surprized as she always spends Sundays with WH...

Last edited by atena; 03/15/10 07:58 AM.

atena
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ok, now explain to me again why you can't get out of there?? crazy


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I wish I could. Finding another job in this country where I now live would be near to impossible. I have to finish my master degree and I am still in a temporary living situation. The only permanent thing right now is my job and the income that comes from it.
I have asked many other places if they have openings but they are actually cutting positions.
H must also HATE to run into me.
I must be a fool to think of R still after all he is done to me and after what I found out about his personality...
it hardly matters.
blessing


atena
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This is such a horrible way for you to live. frown


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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It is pure torture! I would leave this job if I could. I know it would be so much easier if I did not see him constantly as I do. I see him every day now except on week ends....
I feel love for him every time I see him and hate myself for being so weak and stupid.
blessing


atena
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It has been 6 months I have been in plan B. Just 2 days ago I thought things were getting better....I felt somewhat of a shift and all of a sudden a sense of detachment from H.
Today I am back in the dumps. I know the M is over...after 6 months of absolutely no sign of H wanting to R and with his A still alive and kicking....
I do envy LadyLongLegs...she has done in a few months what will probably take me years to do.
Sorry for being such a drama queen. I still love my H...I am starting to feel very stupid when I say those words...maybe I should reflex on this:
Do I want to be happy or with my H? Because I know that I can't be happy with him....
blessing


atena
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(((((ATENA)))))

I am sorry that you feel this way. I am sure that in a couple of months you can help me get through this rough patch too. Some days really do suck during Plan B. For me, it usually occurs when I think too much about WH. If DSx2 tell me things that they did with WH or about POSOW's apt and how they are making it like here(that was last night, arghhhhhhhh). I hope you are trying extra hard not to see him on a daily basis. How is that working out for you? Also, make sure you tell others that you don't want to hear ANYTHING about either one of them. That can send you in a tail spin for sure. HANG TOUGH You will learn what you have to through all of this. laugh


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Yes, I had some triggers, that is true. I had to check on some bills and instead of focusing on what I needed to look at I went overboard and checked deeper and basically got a pretty good snapshot of how he spends his weekends with her...restaurants by the beach, etc...etc...This is his money so I have no say about that....and I could totally avoid looking into it. Then today I picked out of the window while he was having lunch. He looked good and he was tanned already!
I am so jelous of OW still. How can that be? At this point she is it. Why why why???
In fact the reason why I was feeling better in the past days was because I had not seen him nor heard of him.
I am visiting son for a week and that is also a trigger because every time I am with son I can't help thinking we were a family and H would have been with us...instead of with a shanko.
blessing


atena
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EGG ZACK LEE. I knew that you probably had some close encounters of the wayward kind. That always does it for me. How lucky we are(sarcasm) because these things will make us stronger. Just try a little harder NOT to see him or think about what they are doing.

As far as being jealous of her, well STOP THAT. What is there to be jealous about a skankho? She thought so little of herself that she found a MM to have a relationship puke with instead of someone unattached. How bad must she feel about herself that she has to take a MM away from his family to make herself feel good? Also, she KNEW she was having an A, you didn't. I thought about this. I have more self respect because I was NOT okay with my WH sleeping with BOTH of us, yet she was. puke Is this someone you should be jealous of? NOPE.

Head up, no looking back. Let WH get glimpses of how much of a GODDESS YOU ARE. laugh


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Head up, no looking back. Let WH get glimpses of how much of a GODDESS YOU ARE.
I loved this quote Scotland.
He does not get glipses of me in terms of seeing me from a window..but maybe he hears thru the grapevine that I am doing well and looking good. In general he keeps to himself so people do not talk to him about me.
But you know what...I am going to spend time with my son while he is going to spend "quality" time with a the loser OW. If he stops and thinks about it for even a second...he must feel bad, even if just a little. But again, we are talking wayward here and they have no concern but themselves.
blessing


atena
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The best revenge is a life well lived...

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Thank you all. It is great help. I am really down these days....so I went back and read my old posts from 2008. I have been down way before 2008 so I have been feeling this way for years.

I was reading one of my posts from Dec 2008 and my H was already in a full blown A with the neighbor (I did not suspect an A at all then and not even Steve Harley did) and he was sooo good at covering it up and my post said that H said to me: "I want to separate and start a new life alone, I will not date anybody for a while I just want to be alone as my self esteem is so low and I am so unhappy that the only way to find myself is to start a new life."

What a liar! He was already cheating on me with her and he had the guts to tell me that he would not date for a while after we separated....
He was planning it all right! Separate from me then after a few months tell the world that he hooked up with the nice neighbor...oh yes very nice, I remember her....and that he now found his joy and love!

And we were supposed to believe that tale? Did he think I was so dumb (and son) not to put 2 and 2 together and re-construct the A love story he had with her while still living with us?
What an [censored]!
I guess it really need to sink into me soo deep that he is an [censored] that I have to show myself more and more proof of it. I just want him out of my mind. He and her. Both.
Thank you for listening...
Blessing

Last edited by atena; 03/31/10 07:33 AM.

atena
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What an [censored]!

Make a list of reasons that you want to run away from him. Every time you feel weak, you need to pull that list and re-read it from the top to bottom. When you found a new reasons, add it to the list.

-rh-


Give your absolute best such that you could look back 10 years from now w/ no regret.

Happily Married to Lady Elina - 04/29/06
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Thank you. Every little thing helps. I love this forum!
blessing


atena
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Hi all,
today, thru my IM I got a message from H saying I have to wire him 2500 from our savings to pay for a trip he is taking and for a bill he has to pay.
Of course i will not wire him anything. The guts to ask that!!!!
I am forced to pay rent and half of our mortgage because he has A with the downsteirs neighbor and he has the face to ask me to give him money??????????????
These waywards are nuts. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Blessing


atena
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