Larry hi.

First of all I have to tell you that I have a friend who I work with of same name, and we have driven together to work now for the last five years, I cannot drive at night now, and we have car pooled over that time, and we are good friends, so I am partial to anyone with that name.

Larry, I have never had an affair. The most I have ever done was back in the late 70's and I began a new job and I invited a gal there who at that time I thought I was infatuated with to lunch. She agreed but is all that happened and yea I kept that secret. To my knowledge my wife has never had an affair or never stepped outside of our marraige unitl this past fall. I was Not there at the nursing home and she found a friend and that took place. I learned about it when she renewed contact with me and with our son and daughter late last year.

She is in a nursing home now and has been since last Sept. I have realized that we can never live together because of two things 1) the fire has pretty much eliminated her from living where she might choose to, and 2) I need to and want to continue to work, and that does eliminate the possibility of us living together at least at this time. I miss her so much because this is the first and only time we have ever been apart this long, except for the times when she had to be in a psychriatric unit, but then I went to see her as often as I could. They guy she has a relationship with was there and I know now that must have been convenient and it was last fall and early this year when She had imposed not contact. I had not seen her or been able to contact her from August 31 last year until christmas when we all went out. Larry, thank you, and you seem like a really good guy. The rambling yes I do that especially when I use a site like this just to help me get my perspective.

Mrs. Wondering: Nope. I went out but do you know what. I had seltzer water which I have done last 18 years. My friend knows my condition and he would have refused to let me stay there for dinner if he saw I was even kiddin about it. So, as of now I am sober, and I am proud of it.

**edit**
I realize that you have gone thru a lot from what little I have seen of you. Please understand Pepper, that I did work a prevention line called Connections back in the 80s when they still had funding, and I have talked all the ****edit**** night long to help someone out there who at the time was contemplating sucide, and I love that work and now I am thinking about volunteeting again and maybe getting even formal taining in that now that I am partially retired. **edit** And Melody I am not nasty in fact I am a pushover in terms of my wife and our friends. I am angry and my friend who I was out with tonight knew that and realized. He just talked me through the early evening and I am fine. In addition I talked to both my son and daughter tonight so I am fine with myself. One thing you probabl do not know regarding your prejudgemetn is that my wife was hit by a resident there last night. She was reluctant to tell me untill this afternoon. My son came over tonight and we filed a complaint online and also with a letter of complaint which he will send certified mail on Monday against this nursing home. So yea Melody I am angry and feel like defensless now, especially since they cover up or don't admit to his contact with her. I have also schedule an appt. with a reputable attorney to get POA back here to my son or me so that people on site here can take appropritate action on her behalf. Her brother who lives in NC and has that power had advised me to do that. So Melody sweeti before ya judge please just understant!

I am dammed tired now, so what can I say I am going to watch part of a movie and get to bed.

I want to ask you all something tho. And I know this may seem offensive to some. I would like to ask you to pray for Char becasue she does not stand up for herself and I do think part of that is due to her feeling still of being abandoned (which she Is Not because I talked to her just tonight and she knows I want her with me) but and also her tendacy to easily fel like she did wrong when she had not. If I can only ask that then that would be enough.

Tom

Think I'll watch part of a movie now also and go to bed.

I think he thought my post was yours Pep!.?

Nesre

Beliver,
Just thank you and I know and I realize. It was just a kneejerk raction on my part.

Schoolbus:
Hi,
Ya know what and you're right.

I apologize for keeping you on call 24:7 but when I get intense I somtimes do that.

We have not talked nearly as much as we did when we were living together. This is not a separation or either of our parts it is imposed.

We always used to commuicate and that was before this but now it is hard to.

It hurts like hell more than I can tell you to know that your wife ..the one you vowed to ..is sometimes being hurt and physically and or mentally and you can't do much about it immediately.

That being said I will tell you that my son and I filed a complaint with the IL Elder Care dept of Attorney General here, but I believe that that and a dollar will get you a coffee. I have made an appt with an attorney for next week to learn of our and her rights and to take action.

In meantime, yes I know if her EN's and I know what may have caused her to turn to this guy and that was she felt alone or abandoned. It is so hard to accept that she turned to someone else and that does so piss me off, but I am now understanding. It has taken awhile now but we have really started to communicate. Part of this is tho both my son and daughter and lost some respect for her and I can tell that because they dont talk to her as frequently as in past, and so I feel I have to fight that battle too.

I realize you were probably being sarcastic at first but i do appreciate your advice. Thanks, Tom

I'm going to lock this thread now folk. Tom - please use the other thread you started.