My husband and I have been married for 2 years.
While he was recently deployed, i met up with an old friend.
My husband and I have not had a very good marriage, there has been some abuse on his side.
We also have a 2 year old together.
Anyway, while he was deployed, this old friend and I kind of got closer and closer, and next thing i knew, we were in a relationship, and i ended up getting pregnant.
I told my husband i wanted a divorce, and he will be home in a week.
Hes acting as if everything is okay, and he is not mad.
Hes very sneaky and spiteful, so im unsure of how he will act when he gets home.
The tricky part is this.
We lived on the military base in 'State 1'.
I had the affair in 'State 2'.
I am currently in 'State 3' where my family is.
He thinks i will remain here until he gets back.
I plan to go back to 'State 2' before he gets back so i can live with this new man.
'State 2' is my husbands homestate where his family lives.
I am against abortion so im keeping the baby.
Do u think my husband can get custody of our 2 yr old bc i had an affair?
Also; can he tell me where to live or who i cant live with?
We were married in 'state 2' & my daughter was born in 'state 3'.

I think your a being a very selfish woman and your husband has the right to see his child and moving to a new state to be with another man is unhealthy for your child. Not to mention while he was gone serving his country you his own wife betrayed him.

i want him to see his child, i dont plan on keeping her from him.

how is it unhealthy for her? what do u suggest i do?

It depends on where he files. Hopefully he will file against you in a fault state on grounds of ADULTERY so he can get full custody of his daughter and protect her from your sleazy lifestyle.

If you want to cat around like an alley cat in heat, how about leaving the little girl with the grandparents so she won't be exposed to your sleazy adultery partners? This is how little girls end up molested and abused.

That is just scandalous!

First of all does you husband know your pregnant? If there has been abuse on his side I would be careful when he gets home. And as for him getting custody There is nothing saying he will get custody if you have had an affair however if you are unstable or cannot provide your child he will likely get custody. I really am no pro at this I am new here as well due to an unfaithful wife. But I would suggest doing the obvious and just discussing the matter with your husband and try to come to an agreement. I'm sure one of the vets will be able to help you better.

No he doesnt know; do u think i should tell him.

Just to make sure I have this right.

1. You intend to live with your affair partner.

2. You are pregnant by OM and want to keep the baby and are worried that your H will take the child from you and OM.

3. You have no problem taking your H's child from him while you run off to live with OM.

4. You think your H is sneaky and spiteful and apparently you don't think you "sneaky and spiteful."

Have I got this about right? I want to make sure before I say anything else.

JL

His family is abusive towards their children.

HE HAS CHEATED ON ME, HE HAS HURT OUR DAUGHTER PHYSICALLY, HES MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE TOWARDS ME. HE TALKS TO OTHER WOMEN BEHIND MY BACK. I HAVE BEEN FAITHFUL UNTIL NOW, HE HAS NOT.

THE OTHER MAN IS GREAT TO MY DAUGHTER, & SHE LIKES HIM.

You forgot:

5. You put your H life at risk by telling him of your infidelity while in a combat zone.

By the way, news like that tends to take your mind off the mission and risks his attention which in turn puts him and his fellow Soldiers at greater risk of harm.

You do realize this is Marriage BUILDERS, right?

O0 YA; MY HUSBAND HAS A GIRLFRIEND AS WELL. NOW THAT HE KNOWS I WANT A DIVORCE.

I have serious doubts that you are a real poster on this site.

If you are for real from your very short posts I don't believe that he has been abusive either, this is all your wayward crap.

Give more of your story or get out of here and stop wasting the time of the people who want to help.

The OM is a scumbag who wants to destroy your daughter's family. Only a LOSER shags a married woman. Any man who shags a married woman and then has the lack of conscience to look her child in the face has no conscience.

The problem is that your daughter may learn right from wrong from other sources when she gets older and will know what you did. She will find out what adultery means.

Revenge affairs are not the answer.

The abuse wasn't mentioned in your first post. That being said, you had the right to separate, the right to divorce, but not the right to have the affair. Just my opinion.

I encourage you to read the material on this website and learn about what it takes to be a true, healthy marriage.

1. Break up with your OM. He's every bit as trashy as you will stay, till you take some concrete steps to repent. You can rid yourself of the stain of adultery, but not until you STOP!!!

2. Divorce your BH if what you say about abuse is true.

3. Before you even THINK about bringing another man into your poor, sad DD's life, get your own life and head straightened out. What you and her father have been teaching her is sickening. It's not too late to change that, and give her a chance at a decent life.

4. Are you a troll?

Okay.
The other man is someone i was talking to when i was going through a divorce about 11 months ago.
I ended the divorce and tried it with my husband again, it didnt work.
So when my husband left, i went back to try things with the other man.
I really do love him and realized i never loved my husband.
The other man is not a scumbag.
He didnt want to pursue anything while i was married, but we had a lot of feelings for eachother, not just sexual.
My husband and his whole family is abusive, ive witnessed them beat their toddler children, and he thinks that its fine behavior.

I dont want to be with my husband, and i know i want to be with the other man, i feel it.
i dont want to hurt my daughter in any way because she is #1 right now.
& i have a baby on the way.
im confused and hurt.