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Joined: Dec 2006
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I posted this on Halloween 2007

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A woman I work with had her D-Day Monday morning. I have known her and her husband for over 10 years when we worked together at another company. She got the �I never loved you� speech just prior to finding out he cleaned out the bank accounts. The OW is a skank he picked up while working a job for a towing company. It sounds like she rewarded him for his services right on the spot. What a nice girl!

I know her in-laws as well and have always thought the world of them but they turned out just like the rest; �Sorry to hear this DDIL, but you know it takes two to destroy a marriage. Ta-ta and good luck.� They were married for 12-years.

I told her about MB and gave her some reading material. She says she has no intention of saving the marriage and would never let him touch her again. I told her MB will be able to help her a lot with her personal recovery as well. All her children are from a prior marriage and are fully grown so a least that will be no issue. She says she has no need or desire to ever see him again. She is very tough but you can see she is hurting pretty bad.

I told her she needed to get to a clinic for testing. She said it was the first thing she thought off. There is a significant overlap in SF with both women. What a POS he is.

Affairs suck.

Her WH works at the same company Gollum worked for when he got caught at his second affair. He had to leave that company due to the affair and came to the company where Wayzilla and I worked.


Since this post she has gotten divorced, her brother died, she lost her job here a year ago and went into a downward struggle with alcohol.

She committed suicide yesterday. I have known her for over 13-years. She has two daughters in their early 20�s and one granddaughter. What an awful waste.


Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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So very sad to read this story. Sorry for your loss.


Me: BS 30
WH: 32
Married: 4 Yrs
Together: 14 Yrs
Dday: May 2009
FR: MANY
A: Online EA turned PA January 2009 and again May 2009
FRMLY: Hopeful30
To all WS: "Sometimes we miss happiness by looking too far for things nearby."
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How awful, chrisner. I am so sorry.


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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How awful and so very sad.


Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10

"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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This is sad. ((((DDx2))))


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Wow, my condolences. Its tough when a friends commits suicide due to an affair, or other family issues.

About 5 years ago I had a friend commit suicide when her DD5 took the stand and DD5 testified against her father of all the eewy gory details of statutory rape. Its tough because the mother was a beloved family friend, and we dont understand why she left her little daughter on this earth all alone.

I only wish there was something I could do, but it always seems too late.

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How awful and such a terrible terrible waste. I hope her WH suffers long and hard over this.

And yeah, affairs DO suck.


Me: BW, 27
Him: WH, 29
DD 4
DS 1
Married 07/25/09
A began end of 08/2009 (possibly sooner)
D-Day: 3/31/10
2nd D-Day: 4/9/2010
3rd D-Day: 4/21/10

Plan B (shortlived as it was): 18/05/10
WH decides to work on marriage: 20/05/10
False Recovery, Back to Plan B: 13/08/10

Filed for D Feb 2011, D April 2012

Looking forward to the sunshine and rainbows life should hold for us all!
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So many lives ruined by affairs............


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Oh, chrisner........ dontknow


There but by the grace of God.......


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what a reminder that we need to take care of ourselves in all of this.

I have read on here about waywards that spiral and ultimately kill themselves.

To see a BS do this is a tragedy.
Like others I post here -- all time time. Don't know if anyone reads it but it makes ME feel better. It helps to relive stress. It helps to feel the group support. It helps to feel we belong somewhere when others turn their backs.

Chrisner, I am so sorry to hear this sad news. It is a reminder that life is precious even though we feel it was pulled away from us.



Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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What a tragedy. hug For you Chris and DDx2.

Years ago, my next door neighbor came home to find that his wife had moved out to live with her lover, another woman. He was 42 at the time and have been married for over 20 years. He was clueless.

Two weeks later, he mowed the yard, trimmed the bushes, swept the concrete, edged, cleaned up the house and then committed suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning in his car in the garage.

Larry

Last edited by _Larry_; 04/12/10 05:22 PM. Reason: spelling
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This is sad.
Very sad.

This part (below) makes me mad.


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I know her in-laws as well and have always thought the world of them but they turned out just like the rest; �Sorry to hear this DDIL, but you know it takes two to destroy a marriage. Ta-ta and good luck.�

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So sad. I am so sorry to hear this.


BS - me 56
XWH - 57

12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.

6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.

9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented
WH wants nothing to do with me

Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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Originally Posted by Pepperband
This is sad.
Very sad.

This part (below) makes me mad.


Quote
I know her in-laws as well and have always thought the world of them but they turned out just like the rest; �Sorry to hear this DDIL, but you know it takes two to destroy a marriage. Ta-ta and good luck.�

This is sounding a little like my MIL and SIL, I feel that their attempts to stay "neutral" have actually made WH's behavior slightly acceptable.

It makes me mad that the people I thought were part of my extended family can turn their back and say "it takes two" and "see ya".

They are an emotionally stunted family. MIL actually had an EA about 10 years ago and was going to leave FIL. She chose to stay because of the pressure from her family; unfortunately she never really recommitted to the marriage. FIL did and attempted to change, but it still remains a sad situation. It was one of the things WH husband feared.

I find it sad that the people who you think you should be able to count on - are the ones who often let you down. And it seems to be the "PC' thing to do, often stating "it really isn't my business".

SAD!!


Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10

"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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Originally Posted by chrisner
She committed suicide yesterday. I have known her for over 13-years. She has two daughters in their early 20�s and one granddaughter. What an awful waste.

frown


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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So so sad. It makes me mad too. What a waste of life. Sometimes I wonder how WS and OP can sleep at night.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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What a terrible, terrible tragedy. Honestly, I am almost speechless...words are hard to find. Yes, affairs suck (not to mention the incredible hurt that follows them) and the damage they cause can't even really be described. Sad, sad, sad.

I'm so sorry to hear of this news. :-(


Married DH May 5, 1990
DH45 - ME43 - DD18 - DD15

Thanx to MB my M is now back on track and better than ever. MB ROCKS!!!

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.

Erica Jong
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It always amazes me how much of our lives are touched by the damage of an affair...
It's a pointless and unnecessary way to hurt someone you have loved and have been married to.
The selfishness in all of it makes me sick at times.
I'm sad by the news and I'm sure the lord in now looking after her but what a waste of a good life.......


BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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Originally Posted by Pepperband
This is sad.
Very sad.

This part (below) makes me mad.


Quote
I know her in-laws as well and have always thought the world of them but they turned out just like the rest; �Sorry to hear this DDIL, but you know it takes two to destroy a marriage. Ta-ta and good luck.�

Yes Pep, and I think for O. this was the cruelest stab of all. She adored her in-laws and thought of them as her own parents. She would do anything for them. Her own parents had long been out of her life.

This one kept me up a lot last night.

I guess it was just a perfect storm of hurt and loss. It�s hard to even comprehend.

She loved her daughters so much. Every time she got new pictures of her DD�s or GrandD she would bring them to me to show off. Her desk was covered in framed photos of them all. She was so proud of her younger D putting herself through college in California.

She was laid off here a few months ago and had not been able to find work anywhere. I heard a few weeks ago that she had turned to the bottle to medicate the pain.

What a horrible waste.



Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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My gawd, how horrible for the children! Perfect storm, indeed. It is so sad that people in such despair can't be helped before it's 2 late. So often, they seem 2 shun those who might be able 2 be most helpful.

It's true, it does take 2, 2 destroy a marriage: The WS and the OP.

It is incredibly tragic that the in-laws would say something so horrendously cruel 2 her in her worst time of confusion and pain. It doesn't help that they probably were just being s2pid or ignorant.

-ol' 2long


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