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It seems like they intend to get their ducks in a row before they call anyone onto the carpet. So the angry emails may take a few days. In the meantime I've managed to find another LT at Fort Sill that's willing to help me track down the OMW.

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Just wanted to say I'm impressed with what an awesome job you're doing with exposure and getting everything rolling.

Your WW is going to have an absolute duck when all of this hits the fan. Expect that, don't let it ruffle you. Stick to your plan (meet ENs, avoid LBs, no relationship talk, full exposure).

You are doing unbelievably well.

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Jeff/RIF

Is my possible understanding of mortarman's posts that from his perspective as an Ex-IG, adultery affects combat readiness. So it is the business of IG to get involved.

Is that right?

Larry

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HiJeff,


Glad that you've found an ally to help you find the OM's wife! Keep pressing, then expose with everything you've got as quickly as you can... If OM suspects (which he probably does by now) He's already told a ton of lies to his wife and let her know to "expect" a psyco LT to send her an e-mail or letter or phone call... That's why you've got to give the OM's W all the evidence you have.

By any chance is the OM an instructor at Ft. Sill, and your W a student???

If so, this would be a HUGE no-no! There are clear orders against instructor/student relationships at ALL military schools (Basic Training, AIT, OBC, CCC, ILE, etc)... so if OM is an instructor, and your wife is a student, the command will most likely go for a violation of Article 92... since it's MUCH easier to prove than Article 134.

Here are the maximum punishments for Article 92 - Failure to Obey a Lawful Order:

Maximum punishment.

(1) Violation or failure to obey lawful general order or regulation. Dishonorable discharge, forfeiture of all pay and allowances, and confinement for 2 years.

(2) Violation of failure to obey other lawful order. Bad-conduct discharge, forfeiture of all pay and allowances, and confinement for 6 months.

I do believe that a DD & a BCD carry a federal felony status with it so it will definitely affect their life AFTER their "great" military careers...

Most likely they would get an Other Than Honorable discharge, which isn't as damaging, but still limits some of the benifits that they can claim.

That's probably why they're wanting to get their "ducks in a row"... then they'll come down on them both with both boots!



Semper Fi,

RIF


Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

Married Dec 86

Multiple A's that ended '90

Rebuilding In Faith since then...

Currently deployed to Iraq, but TEXAS is Home!
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Hi Larry,

Quote
Is my possible understanding of mortarman's posts that from his perspective as an Ex-IG, adultery affects combat readiness. So it is the business of IG to get involved.

Is that right?


Exactly! see my quote above of the IG's Mission Statement from the Ft. Polk IG...

It's always best to use the C-of-C first... then if you don't get satisfaction from them, you go to the IG. Most Commanders that I know/knew would be DEATH on a situation like this...

If Jeff's C-of-C doesn't handle this quickly, then he can still go to the IG...

Semper Fi,

RIF


Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

Married Dec 86

Multiple A's that ended '90

Rebuilding In Faith since then...

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Thanks RIF. I read your IG mission statement. I have read the same words at other posts during research. I wanted to make sure I understand exactly how IG gets involved and why.

I was in for three years as an EM in a specialized unit. So I have some concept of how things work in the Army. But not nearly as much as you guys.

If my understanding is correct, the IG reports directly to the CG, who then directs lower command to do whatever CG wants them to do and they say, "Yes Sir (or ma'am) and do it.

One military forum post I saw and can't find again, said something about the direct report not being happy the CG directive landed on his desk and he tried to pull something later on with a review. In that case, the next report on up the ladder "Corrected" the review and sent it back down to be written again. Military review language is beyond my ability to interpret. smile

Larry

Last edited by _Larry_; 04/19/10 09:13 AM.
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BN commander asked for any emails containing admissions, but there are none. She was very careful not to put anything in writing, and in several emails asked me to call her because she wanted to discuss things that she wasn't willing to put in writing.

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Quote
...and in several emails asked me to call her because she wanted to discuss things that she wasn't willing to put in writing.


Send these e-mails even if they don't have any reference to the OM or an affair...they will still show a PATTERN.

Also, send the e-mails where she was blasting you and telling you about "informing" her family and friends and how "they all support her"...

These e-mails can be used by the Article 32 investigating officer to come up with questions to ask your W and the OM. Like I said before, most soldiers don't get in "trouble" for adultery... they get in trouble for lying on a sworn statement during the investigation.

Oh, you never did say if OM is an instructor an if your W is a student... I thin that will make a HUGE difference in how the command handles this.

Also, if you haven't done it yet, fill out a DA Form 2823 (Sworn Statement) and have it signed by your commander... then send that to your BN Cdr... Be as specific as you can (names, dates, times, places, conversations, etc) Again, this will help the investigating officer come up with questions to ask OM and W...

Then THEY will have to choose to either lie on their sworn statements, or admit their guilt... most likely they will lie... but again, your goal is to break up the A, not destroy them (even though this, may in fact, ruin their careers)


Semper Fi,

RIF



Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

Married Dec 86

Multiple A's that ended '90

Rebuilding In Faith since then...

Currently deployed to Iraq, but TEXAS is Home!
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You can't tape the conversations?

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Originally Posted by ouchthathurt
You can't tape the conversations?

I agree, anytime she asks to call you for something she can't put in writing, that should be your key to taping the conversation if allowed by law.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
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No, it was not a teacher student relationship.

And I feel very very wary of forwarding her personal attacks against me to my commander.

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Originally Posted by Jeff4187
No, it was not a teacher student relationship.

And I feel very very wary of forwarding her personal attacks against me to my commander.

Why?


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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A courageous LT has the evidence and a letter from me to the OMW in hand now. He'll be hand delivering it to her home later today. The support I've gotten from so many places to pull this together has been amazing.

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Originally Posted by jmwc95
Originally Posted by Jeff4187
No, it was not a teacher student relationship.

And I feel very very wary of forwarding her personal attacks against me to my commander.

Why?


Because I don't see how they can benefit the investigation at all, and they're very personal and hurtful.

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Originally Posted by Jeff4187
Originally Posted by jmwc95
Originally Posted by Jeff4187
No, it was not a teacher student relationship.

And I feel very very wary of forwarding her personal attacks against me to my commander.

Why?


Because I don't see how they can benefit the investigation at all, and they're very personal and hurtful.

RIF told you how any email that references the "alledged" adultery can be helpful. If you are going to expose, don't hold back. Now you don't have to forward every email, but I would certainly forward the ones that have veiled references between her and OM's relationship.

As for the hurtful aspect of the emails, I know it's easy to say and hard to do, but don't let her WORDS hurt you. Yes, you can certainly be hurt by her ACTIONS, but try not to listen to the WORDS of a floundering ADDICT because they don't mean what they are saying. She is just using her words to try and manipulate you into allowing her continued access to her DRUG. It got to a point where I would just laugh at what my WW said because I thought it was so pathetic.

Last edited by jmwc95; 04/19/10 10:32 AM.

Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
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Well, the chains of command have been notified, and the wife will be notified soon. All within 8 hours of each other. Except for exposing all of this when I first discovered it, I don't think the truth gets any more "tsunami"-like than this.

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Once the wife knows, she will call hubby, and he will call your wife, and she will communicate with YOU. Be prepared for her wrath.

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I'm not answering the phone. Or replying to emails.

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Good. Just stick with us.

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Originally Posted by Jeff4187
Well, the chains of command have been notified, and the wife will be notified soon. All within 8 hours of each other. Except for exposing all of this when I first discovered it, I don't think the truth gets any more "tsunami"-like than this.

Brace yourself.

What I would advise you to do in the emotionally traumatic few weeks of post-exposure you are about to endure, is to start a thread asking others what their WW's said and did immediately after exposure. That way your mind can better compartmentalize and rationalize what she is saying. It won't hurt you as much when she says the things she is going to say when you already know she is following the exact same script as all other WWs. That way you know it is the ADDICTION causing her to say these things, and it's not you. You need to understand, all that she says has NOTHING to do with you and your marriage and has everything to do with an ADDICTION. Try to do things for yourself and lean on some buddies during this time because she is going to do everything she can to hurt you. Don't let her. Breathe deep, relax, and don't let her suck you in to any arguments or relationship talks.

Also, when you said "the wife" will be notified, did you mean OMW or your WW? OMW is a still a key exposure target that will help keep OM from breaking a cease and desist order.

Last edited by jmwc95; 04/19/10 10:44 AM.

Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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