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I wouldn't respond with that. As rif said. She will be emailing you constantly to find out if you got the papers and when are you going to sign them. Just tell her that you have them and your thinking about it. And you simply never sign them. You insure a constant stream of communication because of that. But don't send her weak sounding stuff about the dog.

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K, got it.

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It's possible they've already dismissed everything.


Hey Gurka - We've gone over the fact that your mind will almost ALWAYS think of the WORST situation or outcome... You've got to try and not dwell on those type of thoughts!

My gut is telling from the e-mails that you've shared with us that your W knows that the investigation is going on. When I conducted my art. 32 investigations, I interviewed the defendant first, then the other witnesss, then the defendat again to "clarify" any issues that came back up.

The investigating officer has a pretty wide lattitude on what order they interview people, so you could even interview the other witnesses first, then the defendant... either way, this is usually where the defendant gets caught lying... the stories just don't match up, or they match up "too well" and the investigating officer will start asking more questions to make sure that the defendant hasn't been discussing the case with anyone else except for their legal counsel if they have one.

Even if your W calls and says something along the lines of "Guess what Gurka? The investigation didn't proove a thing so you lose, I win!!!" It will be a last desparate effort to throw you off balance and hurt you.

You are correct in that the commander does NOT have to tell you the results of the investigation... but remember, the investigation isn't the end of the story.

The commander will take the findings and recommendations from the investigation and will then have to decide what punishment is warranted. I'm pretty sure that this will happen at the General Officer level... (CG of Ft. Huachuca and CG of Ft. Sill)... Again, you most likely won't find out what the punishment is, but you will DEFINITELY see the results!

Look for what happens to your W and OM AFTER they finish their basic course... Your W needs that TS/SCI for her job, right? Well, if she doesn't get it, you'll know why!

Again, try not to worry about things that you can't control...

Semper Fi,

RIF


Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

Married Dec 86

Multiple A's that ended '90

Rebuilding In Faith since then...

Currently deployed to Iraq, but TEXAS is Home!
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Gerka I was a WW.

All your ww can think of right now is "me" followed by ,, oh surprise... me again and then after that me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me .......... pages of it.

Sadly this is normal for where she is at right now.

As for me back then .... guess what? Did you know MY husband was responsible for it ALL as well!! Yep what a rotter. rant2 of course I did use far stronger wording than rotter blush

So you see what you are hearing... getting in your text ,,, seeing in her replies is very much from the WS manual. Just variations on the same theme of selfishness. You can't teach her.. you can't reach her ... she will need to work this out herself.

when she hits bottom ... that's when MB really can come into its own.

Listen to the guys & gals here advising you ,,, I would only add that if you can when she hits bottom get Dr Harley involved.

We recovered... I prefer to think we have a new marriage rather than a fixed one .. I killed the old one to my shame. But it CAN work and it will hurt to go through the work to get there... But it can be done. The two of you will need to commit to it though. Dr Harley or one of his team can help there I feel

I wish you all the best ... and of course take care of yourself.


Life may feel as if you are constantly getting kicked on a daily basis, living is about picking yourself up each day and going on and on and on regardless.

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You can't even start the MI basic course without a TS.

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Wasn't there an investigation already about them? I thought I read it somewhere.

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If she can't get her TS. Supply officer or Admin is likely.

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"I know you're angry and hurt right now. I'm more than your friend, I'm your husband, and I'm still fighting for our marriage. I know you want to know that I'm ok, that's why I've been writing you. Apollo is our dog, and I'm sure he misses you as much as he misses me."

One thing to think this, however another thing to say this to WW. Don't.

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I would think that if she was disqualified for a clearance before she even started her basic course she'd likely be administratively separated from the Army. While it sounds silly, anything that is going to cause you not to get a top secret clearance is probably going to keep you from getting a secret clearance, which is a requirement to be a US Army officer of any branch.

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"I know you're angry and hurt right now. I'm more than your friend, I'm your husband, and I'm still fighting for our marriage. I know you want to know that I'm ok, that's why I've been writing you. Apollo is our dog, and I'm sure he misses you as much as he misses me."


Hey Gurka - I'd let things "rest" for a bit. If you do decide to send the e-mail, I'd leave out the part about "I know you're anger"... of course she's angry, and this would probably just make her angrier. Also, and I know this hurts, but she probably doesn't really care to know if you're OK right now because all she's focused on is ME!!! ME!!! ME!!! ME!!!

Deep down, underneath all of this selfishness, I'd bet that she really DOES care about you, but for now, everything is about her.

Hey, Gurka - Listen to Aussie's Wife!!! She really knows what she's talking about and is one of the great Vets here that can give some great insight into your W's actions...

Semper Fi,

RIF

***waving & TJ*** Hey AW!!! Good to see you! Hope that man and son and son-in-law of yours are all back home now!


Me, BS

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Also RIF, should I expect the investigating officers to contact me at all? They have no sworn statements or anything from me other than my initial email and the evidence I've forwarded on to them.

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Yeah, I really appreciate the input from aussie's wife. I won't be replying to her email.

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You can't even start the MI basic course without a TS.


hee hee... she could count paper plates in the DFAC at Ft. Huachuca, you don't need a TS/SCI or even a secret clearnce for that! wink

Seriously, don't worry about the investigation, or about the "shabby" investiation at Ft. Polk...

I don't think that the investigating officer will be some Jr. CPT since the allegations are coming from a serving officer in Afghanistan. The CGs will definitely want to make an example of this.

You already told us that your buddy at Ft. Sill said that some LT's were court martialed there for misconduct... the UCMJ is meant to maintain order and discipline in the military. There's nothing worse than disrupting a service member's focus with this cr*p and this isn't some little "fling" that's not hurting anyone...

Again, try not to think about "what if"... especially "What if they both get off without any punishment".

Semper Fi,

RIF


Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

Married Dec 86

Multiple A's that ended '90

Rebuilding In Faith since then...

Currently deployed to Iraq, but TEXAS is Home!
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Also RIF, should I expect the investigating officers to contact me at all?


Perhaps... the two cases that I investigated did not involve the spouse... just people that were downrange.

If they do contact you, try to take the emotion out of you statement and focus on the facts. Tell them who, what, when, where, and how long, and reference the phone logs and e-mails that you provided. You might want to have a JAG officer go over it with you before you send it in too...

Semper Fi,

RIF

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It seems strange that they would conduct an investigation without contacting me for a sworn statement. It seems like a lot of what I could tell them would tie things together for them and make it easier to catch them lying.

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I should have added that the spouses for both of my investigations didn't have a clue about what was going on since all of the parties under investigation were all assiged to A-Stan.

If one of the spouses had initiated the complaint, and I were the invetigating officer, I definitely would have contacted them for an interview.


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Stop writing me. We are not friends and this is not going to work out for you. Your little plan didn't work, and I am never going to forgive you for what you put me through. If you keep writing me I will just block your email, and then you won't be able to reach me for the important stuff. I am no longer going to Fort Polk, and I will not see you alone when you come up here, so good luck with all your scheming and planning.


She's found this thread.

Perhaps you can get advice off-MB from RIF.

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Mrs. Gerkaguards,

You are very young. And you have done something terrible....something that you WILL regret.

Your thinking is very VERY faulty at this time. And your emotions cannot be trusted. You must begin to act w/ integrity. Or you may never recover from this.

You have no Biblical right to divorce your husband. However, your BH has every right to divorce you.

Right now, you have deluded yourself into thinking there is something special about you...something about you that is better than your BH b/c you don't want him, but he still wants you.

Let me disspell you of that notion right now. It is b/c of the man that your BH is, that he is willing to TRY to recover your M. It is not b/c of the woman you are. Or b/c of the special charms you think you possess.

If you choose to walk away from your marriage, Gerk will come to realize that he did not marry a woman of good character. His feelings for you WILL change. And he will meet another who is worthy of him for he will choose wiser.

You, OTOH, stand at a crossroad. You can be a big girl, take responsibilty for the wrong you have done, and attempt to repair the terrible pain you have caused the man that you PROMISED to love forever....or you can choose the road of self deception.

My advice to you is this...do NOT make any life altering decisions for at least 6 months.

This crossroad needs your full attention w/ calm emotions.

Good luck to you.

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I don't think she found this thread. She is talking of plans they had b4 it fell apart.

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I hope she didn't find it. But, just in case she has, the letter is there for her.

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