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I told you that they would lock that thread.
Asterisk sent me a message to "stop creating controversy" and then deleted the comment and thread.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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BOLD LOVE will be GONE next...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I saw the thread.....  I love you....
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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I'm not going anywhere. I post for the wounded here, not for the opportunity to be BETTER than anybody else. Again, we're all very much EQUAL here, even the MODS. Human condition and all.
I do think erasing entire threads lately is a bit drastic. Kinda 'Stepford' ruling, IMO. Why not leave the threads for people to see. It's a good thing to question authority. Only those that fear the questions will shut things down.
Again, something stinks in the good ole state of Denmark, but I dont' have the time to track it down. I prefer someone just out and telling me. I'm not interested in coverups and deceit. That's what got me in this d@mned position in the first place.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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I'm not interested in coverups and deceit. That's what got me in this d@mned position in the first place. There you go.. That's why it is RELEVANT to MARRIAGEBUILDING HERE... We must speak up against this in all phases of our lives.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I saw the 'contraversy' statment. Got in my craw, and rubbed me the wrong way.
It was the wrong statment to make, IMO. Seemed pretty insensitive, which connotes a personal feeling toward the initial poster, but that's from my vantage point. Again, erasing threads like they never existed makes me kinda uneasy, especially when they are created by long time posters who have made a positive mark on these boards. Weird.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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I'm not interested in coverups and deceit. That's what got me in this d@mned position in the first place. There you go.. That's why it is RELEVANT to MARRIAGEBUILDING HERE... We must speak up against this in all phases of our lives. Yes, we should and we are. It isn't going unnoticed. We keep moving in G-ds will and standing for truth. WE KNOW you don't stir up controversy. We know you believe in the MB priniciples and reiterate them over and over again to people. You are one of their greatest proponents. They fight for M and so do you.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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 They can take it away, but we saw it was there and KNOW.
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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bumping for whomever.....
not2fun
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paraphrased quotes from 5/4/2010 radio show:
"What is Plan C?
It is a compromise. I never recommend Plan C. Plan A is you do the best to win your spouse back.
Plan B is you have absolutely nothing to do with the spouse.
Those 2 are the best strategies in an affair. They give you the best shot at saving the marriage.
Plan C, which I don't ever recommend is a compromise is an inbetween state where you are in contact but the contact is not solving the problem.
Plan C makes it more likely you will end up divorced. Some contact but not quality contact. This is a BAD PLAN. It is better to have no contact."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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But, no contact would upset the waywards! They can't upset the waywards!
(That seems to be the attitude I see with most who go with "Plan C")
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Oh, and I think Dr. H could have used the words "Plan Compromise" and "Plan Confusion" interchangeably here. Same result.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Oh, and I think Dr. H could have used the words "Plan Compromise" and "Plan Confusion" interchangeably here. Same result. ditto!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Oh, and I think Dr. H could have used the words "Plan Compromise" and "Plan Confusion" interchangeably here. Same result. Yep, in the end it really just boils down to Plan "Chaos"..........  BTDT.......
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not2fun, and this underscores the point you were trying to make to schtoop about the "180." The Harleys do not recommend the 180 and this is why. It is basically "PLAN C." And as we have seen over the years, it doesn't work. I would have weighed in and supported your point but I didn't feel like:  
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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not2fun, and this underscores the point you were trying to make to schtoop about the "180." The Harleys do not recommend the 180 and this is why. It is basically "PLAN C." And as we have seen over the years, it doesn't work. I would have weighed in and supported your point but I didn't feel like: Yeah, you were better off saving your Advil for a real headache......
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Thank you all for bumping the thread.
I had never come across it and it is inspirational for little ole me in B.
It was so tempting to do a plan A, then go to B and waffle a bit into making it sort of C....but being in a dark B is where I am and this thread shall help me stay unless my WH ever decides to end his A and meet my guidelines to rebuild.
Thanks very much!
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Oh jeez I just came across this thread and realized that WH and I might be in Plan C! I've been through Plan A, then Plan B (didn't last as long as Plan A). During both of those, we have been through 5 FR's. I left my husband a month ago and that seemed to have spurned him into action about getting me back (though I left because I'd had enough of his waffling after 7 months) and now we are trying for the 6th time but he is not in favor of counseling and does not like "being checked up on...". So, it looks like we've somehow slipped into a Plan C.
Oy vey...
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6th FR....you REALLY need to do a serious Plan B..
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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