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Karma, Loving the blog! It is humorous that these lines are used again and again. One that seems to get thrown around A LOT - especially by WW is "I Need Closure" i.e. I need departure sex  I know I've heard it around tons, though I haven't had it told to me, personally. The sad thing is I fell for this one...then after sex he said "Yup its over, I feel nothing for you anymore."...still makes me cry when I think about it...  Talk about being cruel.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. 
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After my WW found out that I had exposed to OM's family, she told me this:
"you ruined the only thing that has made me happy in last 12 years." ok my WxH said the SAME thing.... told me i took his "happiness away".... i swear he is female somewhere in there... 
Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
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Yeah, mine said "you ruined the best thing that ever happened to me." (loving wife? no, beautiful, wonderful, adorable son? no, OW in adulterous affair? YES)... same idea so thats a good one.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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When I told her I felt the only things she saw me as was an ATM.
Venom, screaming, and fury on her face... all in counseling. "You can take your money and shove it up your A$$."
Then a couple minutes later "I am a kind and gentle person."
Then two days later she empties MY bank account,goes through my house like a shopping spree, and finally after asking her what is going on, she emails me saying she wants a divorce and not to contact her in any way other than through lawyers. Haven't spoken with her since that counseling session.
Last edited by Cantfigureitout; 05/06/10 10:32 AM.
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Here is one of the ones I got:
"I really need to go and talk to OW, she is what is standing between you and I working things out and I put her there".
Along with many of the standard lines including:
Not sure if I ever really loved you.
We just need to talk.
I have never felt this way before. (Then I read some of the emails to OW and found they said the exact same things he wrote to me while dating)
And yes, I even got:
I need some closure.
Stupid Waywards
Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10
"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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after talking with my friend this morning, I remember one more.
Said in a kinda childish kinda way, "I only wanted a friend. You never let me have any friends." (bwaaa? Ok, fine, I liked being my H's closest friend, his best friend.... uh duh! I never ever said specifically you may not have any other friends but me!)
I told WH, that's great, I'd LOVE for you to have friends, but that is NOT a friendship! That is WAYYYY more, and it's wrong! ... needless to say he didn't like being told that one....
AnnaBelle Rose
Me: 29 WH:31 DS: 22mths M: almost 6 years, together 7 1/2
I am not a mistake. - ABR
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Not mine but passed down from friends:
"You would really like her if you got to know her...she's a lot like you."
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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Oooooo where's Scotland, I seem to remember her DH had a doozie. Something along the lines of
"I feel bad for her since she is a single mother"
As he proceeds to abandon her and their kids... leaving her a .... you guessed it: Single mother!
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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Well, he didn't exactly say that was WHY he was leaving, but yea he did feel bad for her since she was a single mother. I was the one who said, "Now you are making ME a single mother. Isn't that funny?" Don't know if that counts though.  I had MANY doozies. I just forget all of them now that I am in Plan B. Kinda like giving birth, it all comes rushing back again when something triggers it. It's funny how the mind protects itself. I believe Rid had a pretty good one where after exposure her WH asked her to tell OW that she lied and that he wasn't really married anymore. I hope Rid comes on here soon.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Did some modifying of the page to make it a little easier on my eyes. If you think it'd look better some other way feel free to say so.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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karma rose...what page? what did I miss?
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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My blog? It's linked in the first post. "Chidiot Catchphrases" .
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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- Talking about his purpose in wanting us to go to a counselor, "I want him to help you see that we can have a good divorce." (I guess he couldn't figure out that we could have a good marriage...i dunno) - In one of our discussions between the time he filed and the time he moved out: "I've never loved you and didn't want to get married but I didn't know how to get out of it." (excuse me.....we dated and were engaged for over 3 years before we got married. I guess he couldn't say 'no' when they asked'Do you promise to love, honor, and protect her and keep yourself unto her so long as you both shall live'. Didn't he realize it was easier to say, 'I'm not sure I want to do this' prior to showing up at the church. Yeah, I would have been upset but I wouldn't have ended up with kids in therapy because he was a selfish idiot)- After I confronted him about the EA his secretary told me the grapevine had been discussing: "Yes, she is single and she has two small children and she doesn't have anyone to help her. I know her life is hard and I want to be there to help her."  - After I responded to that by saying, Doesn't it bother you that you are doing the same thing to your small children and to me? AND, you have a committment to us. You don't have one to her?"....His response was, "Yes, it does. But G & N will be ok. I still want to be a good father. I'm not happy and this may not work out but I'm afraid not to take this chance at happiness." (I will let his stoopit idjit words speak for themselves)- After he talked to the minister where we went to church, "He said that this was not the best solution but I don't care. I'm going to do it anyway. I'm not happy. I haven't been happy in a long time and God wants me to be happy. I have this chance for happiness and I'm going to take it. What Steve said makes no difference. God wants me to be happy."  (well, buster, there are other things you could do that would make you happier....like work on your marriage and your relationship with God)- When telling me what his moving out plans were, "I know you don't want this but it's going to happen. My apartment will be ready on July 26th. I know that's your birthday and I don't want to ruin it for you so I'll wait until the 29th and move out then." (Like I really mattered, huh? Like you doing this to your family wasn't gonna ruin my birthday? Like I would be happy spending my birthday with you? EXCUSE ME.....I told him that I wanted him out before my birthday. I didn't care if he went to a motel, his parents' house, or to the Salvation Army. Just get out before my birthday.) He didn't. I got up after he left. I got the children out of the house before he came home. - When he called my mom's house ON my birthday evening-3 days before he was moving out, "I bought some ice cream at Baskin Robbins. I thought we could eat it together and have a little party or something." (Yeah, I'd have liked a little something....like my husband back....or his gonads hanging from the rear view mirror of my car.)- When talking about why we had been having so little sex for so long, "Yes, I am interested in someone else. Haven't you ever wondered why I didn't want to have sex and why I was spending so long in the shower?" (when I told the counselor about that exchange, he said I probably was a good candidate to go to S-Anon. Oh, yeah, I tell people I went to the co-addict group similar for Al-Anon and it was for people whose family members had sexual addiction issues. I just let them wonder what his issue was.....and, if they are so brazen as to ask, I tell them. My x liked to spank the monkey while fantacizing about other women while he was in the shower. He had more fun playing with himself than he did having sex with a wife who loved him and really enjoyed having sex. I will say that since then, I have had 2 'relationships' - one was with a man who really knew how to operate a woman's body but was a selfish lover. And one with a man who truly wants to please me. It's a nice change. My x and I collected rabbit dust catchers but I have earned the nickname Energizer Bunny. TMI, I know but I am nothing if I am not honest. Enjoy that tidbit because I'll take it out after a while.)- After he had moved out, he said to me, "You are the one refusing to make the best of a bad situation. I want this to be good for all of us." (uh....hmmm....like, why was I the only one fighting FOR our marriage. what about this was gonna be good for our children who were 4 and 2 at the time?) - When he decided I wasn't gonna quit fighting - almost 9 months after he moved out, my attorney called me and said he had gotten an Order of Reconciliation from my h's attorney. He wanted to know when I wanted to come sign it. I said, "Say that again." He repeated it. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about. He asked if we had discussed it and I said I had no idea WHAT he was talking about. I then asked if h had signed it....he said the attorney had signed it. I replied, "Hell, no! I won't sign it....send it back. He has to sign it first. If he signs it first, I'll sign it." Attorney did, x signed it, I signed it, we had a couple of counseling sessions more and nothing ever changed. I existed in that limbo for over about 18 months before ending up needing and EKG due to stress. That was when I decided to file....on his birthday....because I couldn't think of any birthday present he'd rather have. To save money, I had a neutral party serve the papers, when they couldn't find him at work or at home, they gave me the papers and I took them to the counselor who served them to him at his next appointment. 
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My blog? It's linked in the first post. "Chidiot Catchphrases" . Oops only read last couple of pages.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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You may refer to me as Cinderella or JET....so few people have my first name, I'm really tempted to let you use that.
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Wow, cinders, thanks for all that! 
Last edited by karmasrose; 05/06/10 03:09 PM. Reason: name fix
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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It's Cinders or Rella....Please.....and, you can use either of those names, too. I don't care but I don't care for cindy. If you don't mind. Please.
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Now you see why I am a happy divorced woman....
better no boots under your bed than the wrong boots under your bed.
By the way, one of his one-sided EA interests was my sister who had told him to take a hike...after all he was married...to her sister.
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I put one of yours up, cinders (decided to go with JET, I thought that makes you sound cool ), hope you like it. Working on getting more up.
Last edited by karmasrose; 05/06/10 03:08 PM. Reason: Name fix
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
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I think it is a totally awesome moniker.
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