I think part of the problem is that the media has made the declined morals of our society - OK.
What waywards do is not OK, not for the family, and definitely not for the kids - no matter what age. Breaking up a family is devastating for everyone.
Stupid, selfish waywards.
I agree - do not engage the stupid people.

Mymissy, that "lady" might as well as said "So what if Tiger Woods set off a bomb off on his family, he was just having a little fun, give him a break, I mean he didnt actually KILL his family, just maimed them."

I thought that we were supposed to stay on our on threads? I am confused by your rant.

I have a rant by the way.....I am feeling down once again....I think it's when one raises expectations even a tiny bit then something happens to shoot it down...you are on your face.

Spouse has been working 7days a week and long hours...but told me Sun he would leave around noon....and we would spend the rest of the day together...go shopping for each of our Mom's for Mother's day....I was excited and was up at 6:30am....did all his laundry and got things all set....by 1pm I realized he wasn't coming home....so I called him at work...no answer...waited until 1:30 called again....no answer....he called me back around 3pm and acted like he had never told me anything....I reminded him and he said "oh yeah, I got a problem here and well that's not gonna happen".....I feel like I have been stood up for a date....except it's all time for 20yrs...the same thing.

Feel like a fool....So I dont' even know if I was supposed to be upset or just feel nothing.....I wish I could cut out my feelings and throw them away.

Gemstone, you are free to read and post on threads...I think lil' is talking about reading other threads and reading the information on the MB website....There is a plethora of information to help newbies.

RANT I am so tired of the impatience and assumtions made about other posters.

Maybe the newbe is in shock from D day and can just hold it together enough to post a hello, and it's happening to them. Maybe it will be weeks before they are able to come forward and express what is happening to them.

There is so much pain and loss from this that they might not understand the articles, in the stater they find themselves in. Maybe they are in the anger stage of the grief and the desire to take out their frustrations on the OM/OW feels justifyed in their eyes. And if someone doesn't agree, then they don't understand where that person is.

I've read the material, and it took quite a while. I registered months before ever posting, so I could try to apply the principles before asking for help. My marriage is ending. Waywards do not always return, no matter how much you do.

I just wish , before we blast someone for their post we could step back and realize that everyone is in their own storm. Remember what it was like when you were in the worst part of your storm. You feel like no one else has ever felt this pain and loss.

Go back and look at the posts by people who are currently wayward, or the OM/OW. Many of them only post a few times, and then they never post again. I wonder what could have been said to help them come out of the fog? By posting here they were at least peeking out of it.

I just have to rant for a nanosecond about the fact that there is this thing called the First Ammendment. I wish people would wipe the chips off their shoulders and get a grip sometimes. There, that's all I've got to say about that.

"Go back and look at the posts by people who are currently wayward, or the OM/OW. Many of them only post a few times, and then they never post again. I wonder what could have been said to help them come out of the fog? By posting here they were at least peeking out of it."

So, did you do your part & post to the folks in the way you wish others would post?

- posted from my phone

Yay Pep!! Nice to see ya!

Go ahead and read the posts I have left others. I believe I have attempted to post in exactly that way. I do not say this to say I am any better than any of you. Some of you have a Doctorates equivalent in experience, while I am struggling in my freshman year.

I have not been in the fog, nor wayward, nor an OM/OW, Or a BW or Bkid, so my advice in those situations can only be from someone who is looking from the outside. Believe me, I despise OM/OW's. But if something could be given to them to bring them back to their family, thats what we need to give. Some of you made it out, and could very well be the reason another wayward returns.

But I have been a BH and so I can empathize and fully understand their feelings through this storm. I have felt much of the same through my situation. I know it's not the same for a BW or Bkids. Affairs destroy everyone, just in different ways.

I do not post a lot. I read many of the posts, but do not believe I have anything further to add to what was already posted by others. There is great advice given most of the time. But there are also occasions where responses become personal, and not intended to help.

Or the responder's become weary from telling someone the basically the same thing, because the post's originator remains stuck in the same place. For what ever reason, the post's originator has not taken the steps, that we all believe would help them. Maybe they are afraid of losing more, maybe they can't see how it applies to their specific situation. Telling them that they were already told what to do, is not very helpful.

However, the fact remains that the OM/OW's and waywards that drop in once in a while, those that are currently in that state. And maybe there is another approach to get them to stay and open up to Dr. Harley's principles.

What Stillhere said..in 3 sentances.. while I used up 3 times as many

I just meant that if a poster has been here for longer than I few weeks, I dont expect I need to spoon feed then anymore. They are capable of looking around the forums for themselves. I do find the odd person refuses to and it irks me.

Here's one.

It's the line of sweats and I guess you call it athletic wear for girls with the brand "Pink" written across the rear.

I personally feel that "pink" is a little suggestive, especially when it's written in bold across the azz of a pair of too short shorts.

Nothing like sending your 12-year old daughter out in public with a billboard that says "vagina" emblazened across the azz of inappropriately short shorts.

End rant.

I have a rant too .. my MIL told me a few days ago she cant wait to make my 12 yo a string bikini just to bug me. I was like .. I dont think so. Her response was "Its cute and its not like shes being permiscuous or becoming sexually active" and my response was ... that its not cute becasue she is starting to develope and dressing like that sends the wrong signals to the boys. I feel its inappropriate for my DD to dress as such but MIL seems to completely disagree and thinks its ok cause she is still young. I say ... make her a one piece bathing suit. NOT a string bikini. If she recieves it ... i think it may end up in the trash.

Grandma needs to get a clue!

OMG, this one is hysterical to me, only because i NEVER thought of that....I am a little slow though.

If I saw a girl with shorts on and the word 'pink' on the seat of it, my first thought would be the colour a butt goes after a spanking. I must be a parent

OH Lil.

They also make them that say cute, phat (which might be accurate - though misspelled), and juicy. UGH!

They make them for children as young as 5 years old. That is even more disgusting. It's hard to teach girls that they are more than just their bodies when the media and the world is telling them to sexify themselves. SICK SICK SICK.

1 step- As far as your rant, do you know how many times I want to rant, "I GET SO ANGRY WHEN SOME POSTERS DON'T FOLLOW THE TEACHINGS OF DrH and then COMPLAIN that it isn't working. Come on PEOPLE, JUST READ ALREADY."

It is hard when someone has been here for weeks or months and all they have done is posted to us and then argue when we gave them answers.

Waywards and AP are given a lot of 2x4's because that seems to be what wakes them up. Eventually if they really want to end their ways and move on, they will "get it." Just ask the FWSs who are regular posters. It isn't the hand holding and kid gloves that is going to help them. They need a wake up call.

As a BW, I came to these boards with the thought that my WH was in an EA. I was reluctant to follow through with all of the advice. I remember someone(I think it was catperson) tell me that I was in a fog of my own. I was MAD. How dare she? She was so right. I also remember the day that Pepperband told me that if I didn't want to do this the MB way, she would move on. Others posted that I should listen to Pep, she knew what she was talking about. THAT and THAT ALONE is what woke me up. If she had treated me with kindness, it wouldn't have worked.

There are posters on here who have been here for MONTHS and still don't know who OP is. How does that help them? There are even posters who do only parts of the plans. Some who throw 180 plan in. There is a PLAN written by DrH. We should try to follow it as best as we can with NO deviations. It would be best to call the counseling center, but not everyone will. We as posters, try to live as closely as we can to what DrH has stated in his books and on this site.

There, I think I am done.....for now.