I'm wondering what the appropriate way to handle this is.. through web research I've been able to find out the spouse's name of my WH's slut ( sorry ), their home address ( out of state ) and a home phone number... If it were me, I would want to know but I don't know if I'm just feeling this way because I'm hurting or what. I don't want someone else to hurt but I do want help in monitoring what goes on from this point. My husband and his wife work for two different companies but stay at the same hotel when they're in the same location which is in another state from both of us. They met in the bar....
Anyhow, should I leave it alone and not disrupt this man's life or should I contact him and if so, through what means... I mean, what would I say ???

thanks,

teresa

absolutely. What she does with the information is HIS buisiness but he has the right to know that the marriage is falling down around his ears.


Phone call. Have your evidence ready because he will tend not to believe you. He can be a huge ally if you want to save your marriage. He can apply pressure on his end as well to end the A.

Call her husband and tell him what his wife is doing TODAY.

EXACTLY.

Absolutely! Affairs thrive on secrecy, so exposure is ruinous. EVERYONE should know about the affair, the OW's husband, all of your parents, close friends, family, and older children. It is the most effective weapon you have in saving your marriage. The more people who know, the more effectively you destroy the affair.

As far as "hurting" the OW's husband, just ask yourself if you would feel the same way about telling him his bookkeeper was stealing money from him? He would be hurt by NOT telling him. It is the same with adultery. The OW's H can't protect himself and his children from your H and his wife if he does not know.

I would strongly suggest you pick up the phone TODAY and tell him all about the affair. Share any information you have about the affair and give him a follow up # and email so you can both keep tabs. He can be your greatest ally in this.

Here is what Dr Harley, the founder of Marriage Builders says about exposure:

Exposure

p.s. I would offer to overnight him all of your evidence.

Of course you should tell him, it's the right thing to do.

So what's the verdict hope? Have you called him and told him that his wife is cheating on him?

Have you called this man yet?

I am sorry for your pain. I am currently 5 days post/after exposure and it was HARD. I did what I could to find the info on the OWH but I could not. I exposed to the job because they worked together and I also sent a letter to OW FB friends which asked them to notify the OWH of her actions.

It worked in 2-3 days time. Her husband had been informed per my WH who was called by the OW. He said that someone that I contacted had told OWH. They have been separated at work and he is MAD. I am new at this all but let me confirm that exposure does what it is suppose to do. I makes people away of the situation and the WS have to make a choice because they are no longer protected by their lies and the secrets they are hiding behind.

Good luck

Thank you !
I will contact him today through FB. I really don't want to call their home to give her access to any of my phone numbers.

thanks !

teresa

Pick up the phone and call him.

OMW and I met and exchanged al the evidence we had.

You can block your phone number when calling the OWH. Its *67

Do not delay, call today.

My husband's OW's husband came to me with phone records or their affair, I suspected something myself but I'm glad he informed me or the affair....
My husband then told his OW he couldn't see her until he was not living with his family anymore....he came to his senses and now is working on our marriage instead of moving on with a life with her.......

Exposure was key, he was embarrassed and guilty about what he had done to me and our boys.........
He now sees it as a selfish act........he has changed all our lives for good,
The OW and her husband split up the day I found out, her girls have disowned her.....
This affects everyone not just the affair couple......
Don't feel bad.....

I called and got voice mail so I hung up... I contacted a relative of his through FB and asked her to have him contact me .. Haven't heard anything back yet....
What kills me is that I didn't do anything wrong but I'm the one who's stressed out over this and feels bad...

thanks again for your support !

t

Hope I would keep calling until you get him.

hope, when you talk to him, I would be sure and give him your full name and phone # and email address. DO NOT give into the temptation to do an anonymous exposure, because that will be a nightmare. His WW will just deny it and her H will have no defense, no proof.

teresa,

I'm glad you're trying to call him.

He deserves to know the truth of his life.

My H wanted to have his affair, and never tell me. He and his OW expected that "what I didn't know would never hurt me". The truth was that their affair had cut off all sex in my marriage, and my husband walked around very angry at me, and I had no idea what was going on with him. His attitude toward me ran hot and cold, randomly changing with the wind.

Believe me, that hurt! His moodiness went away after d-day, because I finally understood that when he was with her, I was a pariah, and when he felt guilty afterwards I was treated better in order to make up for it.

That poor BH probably has no idea why his marriage is so crummy, and he is working to figure things out. That OW is probably blaming him, and he tries, and then she lies to him about this and that - when the whole time, it is the affair that has things so screwed up.

Whether he believes you at first or not, you will plant the seed in his head, and sooner or later the truth will come out in his marriage.


SB