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Originally Posted by themud
it's nuculear, haven't you been listing to "W"?

You looking' fer a fight?
grumble

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hey pep I voted for the knuckle head once. You know, do it once shame on me, uh... no, I mean uh... to it twice... uh. What was my stratergey again?

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Hi again TI,

Just trying to get thru some office work at home here and looked in again because I had another thought. If in fact you are being honest with everyone in what you saw earlier today, and if in fact you are going to expose to her employer, then what Scotland said about her rage and anger is absolutely going to be true, and probably more magnified than with most exposed WW's.

I have to admit that if I were in your shoes this would be the hardest for me. That being said it needs to be done. She is a registered or licensed agent representing the financial interests of a client (the seller). Several years ago I took the qualifying course here in IL at a community college, but I did not pursue the license. I do know that like most professions there is a strict code of ethics. I hve no doubt that when the incident is revealed to her employer that she will at least be questioned by him/her. I am not sure what amount of evidence they will require, but there is a pretty strong risk that she will be terminated, if not have her license suspended at least. That will mean that she not only will suffer the embarassment of normal exposure, but that she will suddenly face the loss of her career. I still find it hard to believe that someone with that responsibility would be so wreckless. Given this, I just feel you better be prepared for her full onslaught. You know her and obviously no one here does really. But, this is all the more reason for you to Not cut and run after the exposure.

Best of luck,

Tom

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TL,
I've been wathching this as I go through my work day (don't tell my boss). Just wanted to throw a couple things in while I ahve a chance and nobody's looking.
Do your exposure just as you have been advised and thoroughly. You are getting the BEST advice.
I missed some steps and even though I am now heading for divorce, there are still things I wish I had done better when it came to the exposure. Read that script - it's right on. You'll be surprised - you'll get a lot of support from your exposure targets. WW not so much, but you already know that. You ahve a lot of work to do, so I won't take more of your time. EXPOSE EXPOSE EXPOSE.
]
optimism

2cents: the radical honesty thing you were worried about a couple days ago-- there's a big difference between doing things behind your spouse's back to DESTROY the marriage and doing them to SAVE the marriage. Make no mistake, you're doing the latter.


Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01)
Divorce from WW final 9/16/10.
Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10)
Mine: S(16), D(11)
NatureGirls: S(23), D(21)
Another EA Story
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My call on exposure is to invite OMW to you house. Introduce her to your wife and explain how you saw her kissing OM.

Let her explain to OMW what she was doing!

In the meantime purchase a CHECKMATE tester for your wife panties. This is admissible in court as well as to your friends.


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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Originally Posted by imagine
In the meantime purchase a CHECKMATE tester for your wife panties. This is admissible in court as well as to your friends.

Agreed. Confiscate her panties when she gets home and keep them in a safe location for testing. That way if she just admits to kissing OM but nothing else at the house, you have proof she was lying.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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Originally Posted by jmwc95
Originally Posted by imagine
In the meantime purchase a CHECKMATE tester for your wife panties. This is admissible in court as well as to your friends.

Agreed. Confiscate her panties when she gets home and keep them in a safe location for testing. That way if she just admits to kissing OM but nothing else at the house, you have proof she was lying.

X3


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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She'll call the cops on him if he gets anywhere near her panties.

Hope he brought witnesses!

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I'm betting...

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TL, how's it going?


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Originally Posted by Drucilla
She'll call the cops on him if he gets anywhere near her panties.

Hope he brought witnesses!

He needs to slip them out of the clothes hamper and hide them for safekeeping. Then order the checkmate kit to test them for semen.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by Drucilla
She'll call the cops on him if he gets anywhere near her panties.

Hope he brought witnesses!

He needs to slip them out of the clothes hamper and hide them for safekeeping. Then order the checkmate kit to test them for semen.
That's what I meant. NOT taking them off her. GEEZ. laugh


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Can't wait till tomorrow laugh

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For those who thought this was too, too wild to be true.... Consider this. My H and OW would go to lunch nearly every day and after lunch would find a place to park and "make out" before going back to work. They would do this within a few miles of the workplace. Both were in military uniform. They took tremendous risks.

Dr Harley has written about the all consuming aspects of the addiction to affair partner and the risks that people will take to keep the affair going. Look no farther than Gov Sanford of SC or Eliot Spitzer of NY. These were men who risked everything to get their fix.

I can't remember who it was, but there was a poster on this forum who caught their spouse in the act when one of the affair partners was a realtor and had access to properties where the two of them could meet for sex.

Prayers for you, Canadian friend, this evening. I am hoping you are doing ok. There is no time now, but when there is some down time, please take a look at Sun Tsu's, "The Art of War". He was a Chinese warrior several hundred years ago and what he wrote is applicable to what you are enduring now.

AM
AM


BW - 65
WH - 60
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
DD - 44, DS - 30, DS - 23
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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T--hope you and the kids are doing alright. Everyone here is thinking of you.


BW (me): 36
WH: 30
M: 07/14/03; together~9yrs
Plan B: 07/13/10; NC broken by me 07/25/10
D-Day: 08/07/10
08/11/10: Plan B/D--can't bring myself to file without having a panic attack.
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"I can't remember who it was, but there was a poster on this forum who caught their spouse in the act when one of the affair partners was a realtor and had access to properties where the two of them could meet for sex."

I think there was a BH that caught WW and OM in the act in a rental property that BH/WW owned.

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Originally Posted by TheRoad
"I can't remember who it was, but there was a poster on this forum who caught their spouse in the act when one of the affair partners was a realtor and had access to properties where the two of them could meet for sex."

I think there was a BH that caught WW and OM in the act in a rental property that BH/WW owned.

That was Runnerboy, and his wife even had an OC from that affair with her boss.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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Some get a little obsessive about the whole �proof of sex� thing.

Don�t get panties and then test them for semen. That�s a bit extreme. We�re talking about adults in their thirties. They didn�t meet at one of her properties to play patty cake and thumb wrestle.

Will she deny that there has been sex? Possibly. But TL is not dumb.

What she�s done is bad enough with meeting in secret, kissing in the street, etc. No more proof is needed that an affair is going on.

This man is having his guts ripped out and some people are acting like this is some kind of fascinating movie. Let�s get back to the business of helping him.

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Ah, I knew there was something about a vacant property. I guess it is not the same circumstance and a poor example. My intent was to show that waywards do crazy, reckless things with no consideration of future consequences. My H became more and more reckless over time. And the sloppiness in OW sending text messages in the night is what led to discovery.

AM


BW - 65
WH - 60
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
DD - 44, DS - 30, DS - 23
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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