Sorry to hear all that. I kinda gagged a little too. I'm behind you 100% for the divorce attorney, you let her know your stance with the PA, you have your evidence, you gave her a chance, and some people can only learn from their mistakes.

Perhaps now its time to turn this one over to the pro's who know how to deal with custody and divorce.

God Speed.

She told me that divorce is "probably for the best"

I also got "I can't be a good mom if I am unhappy"

and "I am happier now than ever before"
Yet, she is a horrible mom (34 days without seeing the kids)

File now and blindside her while you are in an advantageous custody position. Get her on the hook for maximum child support. I think you got your answer as to what you should do. Your problem was choosing your mate poorly. Next time you need to definitely be more careful who you choose to love. But now is the time to act swiftly and file before she racks up a load of debt or tries to play games regarding custody (not that she wants the kids, but to lessen her financial commitment).

Yes, she definitely was a poor choice. She wasn't that way when I met her and was a great mom. I don't know what happened.

Her dad was involuntarily committed last week. Maybe that has something to do with it.

You can try for abandonment, but in my state abandonment is up to 1 year without seeing the kids or husband. The longer she stays away from the kids I guess the better you are off.

She and I agreed to 50/50 with me getting the lions share of the assets. I dont know if she'll stay with that after she sees a lawyer, but I figure with 50/50, I'll get the boys anytime I want and not lose too much of what I have worked for.

50/50? Why the heck are you talking about 50/50? You should easily get primary custody if you have been documenting. 34 days without seeing the kids? You WW will be getting once a week and every other weekend. Get with a lawyer and start planning this now. You need to protect your kids from this woman and the men she'll bring back home. Get a bulldog attorney and start planning your next move.

Someone who talks like your wife can never be happy.
You mean she is after a cheap thrill with the OM...sure, she has that now. Big deal. How long can that bring her happiness? It will change a the flick of a switch.
Let her go and make it advantageous to you and your kids,
blessing

Do you want your kids dumped on her doorstep while she is on a date with OM#1,2,...5...10? I wouldn't want my kids subjected to being raised in such an environment. Protect them, get evidence, and fight for them. The sad part is that you will be fighting for a real long time I think, even if she agrees to 50/50 at first.

This state is too liberal on adultery.
I've gotten all kinds of legal advice. No guarantees with sole custody - probably just get 50/50 anyway.

We've been sharing them 50/50 during the separation. I've gotten them all but 5 nights in the last 2 months. She dumps them with me and I am always willing to take them.

Well I filed today.
She is already renegging on the agreement after seeing her lawyer.

I expected as much.

Her and lawyer said putting tape recorder in truck was wrong and inadmissable and exposing to family was the wrong thing to do.

She was also mad at the fact I sent an email to his corporate account congratulating him on destroying 2 little boys' lives, two children who, most of all, wanted their parents to stay together.

Should I reestablish no contact with her?????

Yep!

I just got a very threatening voicemail from OM after I sent an email to him saying that he is destroying my childrens lives by his actions. I heard that somehow the email was circulated at his work office:

Why does an OM sleeping with a married woman feel like he has a right to threaten the man he is messing with. I don't know if he knows what I look like, but I'm a pretty stout military guy.

Send that email to your lawyer and file a restraining order on him keeping him away from your kids.

If you have been documenting that your kids have been spending most nights with you and your lawyer is telling you that you will only get 50/50, you need a new lawyer. You should get primary custody.

Exposing is not libel or slander, it is the truth, exposed. He is trying to scare you.

You put a voice recorder in your car. Its not your fault she was talking to OM. Of course the tapes may not hold in court depending on the state you live in.

Have them talk to your lawyer. They are pulling scare tactics so you cave in to her.

I hate divorce.

Yeah, I hate it too.

I'm having a tough day with it. Don't know why. This woman has cheated on me twice with PAs and I don't know how many EAs. Her boyfriend is threatening me, yet I still mourn the loss of that family that I had. The reality of actually losing it really hurts.

When I filed I noticed that she had beat me there....maybe so the grounds would not be adultery???

I don't know....Am I dealing with a typical wayward spouse here or is this something different.

No you are not, you are dealing with a borderline sociopath. You need to get with your lawyer (he/she better be a bulldog) and prepare for a bitter custody fight. You don't want this woman to have any more custody with the children than you possibly can. She has shown her disinterest in the children and you need to have a good attorney exploit that in court.

Yes. All she ever talks about is her happiness - like it is the ultimate goal, and attainment of it should be made at all costs.


I dont believe she will ever find happinesss since she cannot be content with what she has. The shiny new nickel always catches her eye.

Maybe I am wrong - and just hoping that she never finds happiness because of what she has done.

She was a total grump when I dropped off the boys this am.
She drops off the boys tonight but unexpectedly walks in the house to use the facilities. I walk in the other room with the oldest boy. She wanders in and I walk out to the kitchen with the other boy. She comes in the kitchen.

She says "so you're not going to talk to me"
I said "Hi"
long pause
She says "so are we going to talk"
I said "what do you want to talk about"
She said "nothing".
long pause
she walks out and I start talking with the boy. She comes back and says "what did you say". Boy says "he was talking to me"
She leaves.

An hour later she calls 4 times. I dont answer.
She leaves a message that says I need the boys to call me.
So the boy calls, she tells him something he already knows, then the boy hands me the phone at her request.
She asks me about her broken toilet????

Sorry that was probably a stupid post.
What's up with her: is she histrionic