Happy Birthday to your DD!!!!! Glad she had a great day, that you makes you feel great.

hi 8th grader,...definitely not a troll! stop by anytime...

Had a great dinner with lots of laughs and the waiter served DD a tiny dessert with a candle and we all sang. She was very upbeat. During dinner DD30 calls her to tell her that XH left a gift for her under the doormat.

Was pretty surprised that he stopped by the house even for a minute especially after being served. Wish he pulled the weeds on the front yard before he left.

DD17 got very upset when she opened the card. It was a card about a little girl growing up through the years saying when you are a baby to trying to walk, a tomboy, till heels and lipstick. She was angry...Said he does not even know who I am. How could he give me a card when he has not seen me and has missed all of this time. He also gave her a Visa $$ card.

DD30 called to find out about gift and DD17 said she would email him to thank him. DD30 then gets on the phone with me and says she should at least call him. I told her that I was not going to interfere (after all I am the one who poisoned her in his own wayward mind -- not because she does not want to see him)

I am leaving it up to DD and I respect her choices.

Detached from the between the 2 sisters. All I know is that XH missed a magical night with a beautiful daughter because of his choices. Hope he had a great night with his recycled trash.

Sorry the evening ended on a down note, Hope. I'll bet there are times when your old husband bubbles up inside his wayward mind and gives him a good kick for throwing all this away. But then the wayward kicks back and says it was all Hope's fault. He should have been allowed to be a cake eater.
Maybe on his death bed, there is hope.

In the end, DD went back to her own version of Plan B and detached and just blocked it out. Her birthday cards are up except his. I saw a flash of that hurt abandoned girl last night. The one who wants her Dad, her hero, and realizes the bloated drinking alien that crash landed in PP's house is not him.

I would like to see the old H bubble up but there are no sightings of this...YET. He never tried cake eating once. He just went crazy and blocked the world out except for PP. Everything and everyone...his choice.

Interesting bit of trivia about a jr. member's name who just "happened" to post once and only once on my thread and then delete/edit what she wrote.

Schoolbus thanks for noticing when I didn't!

hope,

I thought it was an interesting choice of names. A nymph, no less?


Your XH has made a fascinating choice of OW. She has ruined him financially and yet has no compunction to slow the drain on his wallet - still going after whatever crumb might be left in there, and he lacks the testicular fortitude to tell her "no".

It makes me ask the question, "What does she have on him?"


Because nobody does this willingly. PP is a true headcase. Somehow, I think if I met her IRL, we would not be friends. By the same token, she would not like being in the same room with me. I would mess with her and then laugh as she walked away.

Know this about her - the best way to intimidate her is to mess with her head. Stare at her when you get the chance, only smile with your teeth showing. This is a way to say, "I see you, and I see INTO YOU," with plausible deniability to anyone who says anything to you - you can say, "I just smile at her when I see her." Make sure when you smile that your eyes are just ever-so-slightly squinted. It's confusing, but that's the point....and anyone else who sees it will not be able to say one way or the other what you "meant" by the smile.

As she walks away, shake your head, and laugh. ESPECIALLY LAUGH IF THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE PRESENT. Doesn't matter if they say anything to you, or you say anything at all. Just laugh when you see her as she walks away.

Do it every time.

It is unnerving to her............to anyone.........and you cannot be held up for anything. Because you have said NOTHING. Just laughed. Make the laugh sound gooood, happy. A nice happy laugh.



Timing is everything....make sure it is just as she passes by, or turns away. When you first see her backside.


It will drive her crazy. And you? Get to laugh at her.


There is power here. Soon enough, you will realize what it is, after you have done it a few times.


SB

I know I'm totally late, but AM is a far better Christian than I am...I hope far worse for OW.

Dealan Haven't seen you posting lately good to know you are checking in. Thanks.

Never mind the "karma bus", I want her to get hit with the Karma Tank!!!!

Ok Legal Beagles on line -- need help.

Got letter of intent that XH is declaring bankruptcy through my attorney office.

Very concerned about this.

We still own our house together that I am keeping till DD turns 18.

XH got some land we purchased next door. My name is still on that mortgage too even though he was deeded it because he could not refinance it because of its worth (or lack of). Just found out he did not make this month payment.

Just had him served for enforcement for $$ he is supposed to pay towards car for DD and loan that is under both of our names that he has not paid since January and I have been paying.

Have call into attorney office but not sure if they will be back today.

How can a court allow this? He is not declaring this because he is out of work, or for medical bills but because he blew it on 6 or 7 trips to Vegas in 18 months, drinking, partying, trips, gifts for PP and just blowing money left and right.

He lives with her so he has a roof over his head, they can use her credit cards so can he just walk away and leave us in financial shambles?

I worked hard to have good credit and I am worried that he will destroy this.

Never thought in a million years he would be so wayward.

Hope,

Just some cases that I know about:

Friend lost her high paying job and couldn't find another one for almost two years. In the meantime, she lived off credit cards. When she did get a new job, it was far less than she made before, so she is struggling just to make the house payment. With all of the credit card debt which ballooned because of late fees and interest charges, well, she can't even make the minimum payments now. She looked at filing Chapter 7 but because she makes too much money ($68K) she can't. She can file Chapter 13, but for 5 years the court will basically manage her money for her.

Another friend, victim of an A, lost everything because of the D. Sounds familiar, huh? Anyway he just filed and he said the court really scrutinized every penny that he spent over the last several years. He finally was granted the bankruptcy, but he said it was pretty brutal. He is unemployed though with no income.

I guess every state is different though.....

Chailover

Wouldn't those two cases be the exception, because of Hope's husband seems to be spending with the fact that he is filing for bankruptcy.

Hope your husband reminds me of the Teresa and Joe Giudice from Housewives of NJ series they just filed, 11 million last year and she already went out (after the filing and spent another 60,000)

Just my 2 cents. Check the credibility of the attorney who signed the letter. WXH already owes attorney #1 money. My guess is that this new attorney is some ambulance chaser who's going to help WXH "negotiate" down some debt without the hassle of bankruptcy. And attorney #2 will want some seed money up front.

Keep the faith, Hope. Time to embarrass WXH at work.

"Sorry I can't have lunch with you, girls. WXH FILED bankruptcy and I'm counting my pennies to make sure DD can keep her braces on. And look at PP -- showing off her engagement ring. Sad, sad. I'm just trying to raise my DD to follow the Ten Commandments and here's WXH and PP practically BRAGGING about their upcoming AFFAIRAGE in Las Wages. Where's the justice?"

How many PP's, affairages, and bankruptcies are there? Is that the norm?

I don't know. I was just trying to say that 1. If you have a salary that is pretty decent (which I'm sure Hopes XWH does)you can't just file br and wipe out all of your debt and 2. The court will probably look closely at his spending habits to see if he is doing just that - spending to run himself into br.

In other words, it may not be as easy as he thinks.

XH was a reputable, well respected guy, good dad to his DDs and she used to call him "her hero". To my knowledges there were no other PP's, affairages and XH had outstanding credit.

He went crazy after meeting PP and less than 2 months after the A started he never looked back. That is the hardest part to accept. He lost everything and it is starting to turn into a train wreck that everyone sees except them. Both are totally blinded.

Affairs suck

WoW - I have no other words, except many of these A's, including my own WH's are really starting to sound alike.
I am still shock with my own situation. I simple don't understand; and probably never will.

Its been 24 years since I studied Bankruptcy law, but I seem to recall that you cannot discharge legal judgments and settlements in Bankruptcy.....I am pretty sure that includes those from divorce.

From what I know of my sister's divorce/bankruptcy, they both had jobs. Because of her affair, she had run them into the ground financially.

What ended up was basically that she didn't want any debt. She didn't want kids. She didn't want to be married. She wanted a "fresh start", so she decided to file BR.

Thought she could get off scot-free.


They forced her to sell her house, her car, and refinance her debt.

She ended up not getting out of her debt, like she thought she would. Nope.


If I were you, I would put a FOR SALE sign up on any property that you two own jointly. Tell him that the end result of his bankruptcy will be that, anyway, and you might as well take what you can get out of the process.

Get your half. Get your attorney to force sale of joint property right away.


Leave him in the dust. Don't look back. His PP's ring will end up in the pawn shop. Wonder how she will explain that one?


SB

Oh, and watch for the affairage to be delayed. If PP has a brain in her head, she won't join up her money *DEBTS* with his......


she will find an excuse to delay it.

Also, bankruptcy laws have been changed in the last few years. I would speak to a currently practicing atty.
My sister filed about 4 years ago, and she had to hurry her filing to "get in" before the new regulations.

From what I understand, it is much harder now.

Even if it costs $2oo bones and hr. it would be really worth it.

There may be steps (like SB has indicated) that you should be taking pre-file.