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Well, MB friends. I have a problem. On Tuesday, I witnessed, what I, and some of my friends, believe to be the beginning of an affair. It is a couple of parents at the school. Usually, the woman would sit with us and talk. This day, the man and her sat together and then she gave him a ride. I know that I may see affairs where affairs don't happen but my friends also thought something was going on. I need to figure out what to do. I know that both parties are married to other people. Their spouses don't come to the school. I also know that the woman has been feeling neglected. NO EXCUSE. I am just stating that as a possibility for an affair to happen. I am going to try to talk to her today. I was wondering which DrH book you would suggest I suggest for her.

On a side note. I was going up to tuck the kiddos in last night when DS10 comes running down the stairs crying and saying, "I want to call Daddy." I said, "What's wrong?" He was crying so much that he wouldn't even talk. I dialed the number, handed him the phone and waited until Bampot answered. DS10 was crying and he said, "Daddy, I want you to come home." I went upstairs. DS10 came into my room about 20 minutes later. I hugged him and he said he was feeling better. How awful.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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I am told by a psychologist friend that here in italy 90% of the people in a M or in a relationship are having an A.
D rate here is soaring. Broken families are becoming the norm.
I work in a school and see what you described every day, many times over.
I think Dr. H would make a fortune in this country also because our D law says that you have to be legally separated 3 years before D is granted.
blessing


atena
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Do what you can with the possible future waywards but remember "A word to the wise is sufficient" They might not have the wisdom or hear your words until they get some real life 2X4s.

Your boys are preciuos, made me tear up when I read that.

Sending Bampot a cyber kick in the pants here. Its the best I can do.

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Try to get to their spouses, too. If their spouses put additional time and effort into the M, it will quickly come to light whether there is an A or not. Either way, the M can benefit.


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



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Originally Posted by Scotland
I dialed the number, handed him the phone and waited until Bampot answered. DS10 was crying and he said, "Daddy, I want you to come home." I went upstairs. DS10 came into my room about 20 minutes later. I hugged him and he said he was feeling better. How awful.

[censored] wayturd grumble

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Y'all.
My Dad died a week ago.
My DAD, my HERO, my warrior, my protector.

Bampot does not deserve the title Dad.

I'm just mad as hell.
Please forgive me this rant.


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Give me Bampot's phone number, I have some words to say....
I'll blister the skin clean off ...
so effin' mad.

BE A DAD
BE A FATHER

stupid dumb-donkey

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(((Pep))) Oh Pep. I am sorry. I know how much he means to you. To raise a woman as special as you, he must have been an amazing father. hug


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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On another note about that woman from the school. She started to hang around with this other couple who we called "dirt." She stopped sitting with us afterschool. Then I noticed that she talks to this guy and today, she said to him, "Wanna go for coffee?" He went, with his 2 year old. I know that the WW(because I am CONVINCED it is at minimum an EA) isn't happy in her marriage and I have heard through the grapevine that the WH's wife has her own affairs(still NO EXCUSE). I was talking to my friends(now I see how others always talk and always know, WOW it's scary), about this and I said that I am going to tell the BH. They were shocked. I told them that I was ANGRY that this person whom I called friend would have an affair with someone and let me find out. ARGH

I am going to try to talk to the WW today afterschool. It is not going to go well at all. I am going to try to give her a bit of reality in her sitch. She is a SAHM. The WH is also a SAHD. Where would they live? Where would their kids go to school? How would they pay for anything? The WH would lose his kids. He is American and if he gets a D now, he would be sent back to the states. She will have a bad reputation. If she does continue this affair, she would need to move and remove her children from this school. She would help blow up 2 families. I am going to make it real to her. I know most of it will not get in yet but she will learn it one day. I will tell her BH, in front of her if I have to and I will try to find the B(W?)W. It sucks being the person with moral high ground.

I was actually asked by one of my friends today if I was the marriage police. I told her that I only was doing what was right. thing is, even before Bampot had his own affair, I still would tell on anyone that I would know was having an affair. It is wrong. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Originally Posted by Pepperband
Give me Bampot's phone number, I have some words to say....
I'll blister the skin clean off ...
so effin' mad.

BE A DAD
BE A FATHER

stupid dumb-donkey

Oh I would most definitely give you his number. I would give it to anyone who asked. You should have heard me yesterday. I actually told my friend that Bampot should be HAPPY that I am in Plan B because the things I wanted to say to him would make his head spin. He is one lucky boy that I found this place. And I always thought that I was the lucky one.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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(((PEP))) I'm so soo sorry.


Me & DH: 28
Married 8/20/05
1DD, 9 mo.
Just Lookin' and Learnin'
HIYA!
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Originally Posted by Vibrissa
(((PEP))) I'm so soo sorry.

Yes so sorry Pep. frown

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Originally Posted by Pepperband
Y'all.
My Dad died a week ago.
My DAD, my HERO, my warrior, my protector.

He sounds like a great man Pep. I'm so sorry.


Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Little bit of a T/J Scotland. sorry..

PEP, I am very sorry for your loss. My Dad was a wonderful father, husband and man. We lost him 12 years ago.

I was my father's daughter and then I no longer had my father. He was a humble man who helped people very quietly and without a fuss.

He died on Father's Day. The day of his wake over 400 people attended. The funeral director kept saying who was this guy. Discovered during the wake all the random acts of kindness he did for strangers to friends. Someone was out of work, he bought groceries, helped people find jobs, went to homeless shelters with turkeys and the list goes on.

My Dad was my Hero always. My Dad treated XH as his son and I know he would be crushed knowing what XH did to his family. Makes me mad how it affects the kids.
Hugs to you and your family. pray hug

end of T/j

Now Scotland, recently I went through the same with a friend from the gym. She was a SAHM at the time and was having A for 7 months. While everyone laughed about it I ripped into her. Gave her books, counseled her, she committed to the M...then a few months went by and she started up again. I told her that I could no longer be friends with her while she continued the A. I just cut her out of my life.

Good luck you are doing the right thing.

As for your son, I had a tear in my eye. I feel for our kids.


Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09

Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Well I only got to talk to my friend for about 15 minutes while we were waiting for our children to get out of school.

I started by saying, "Hello friend. Would you say we are friends?"

She said : Yes
Me: would I be a good friend if I watched you do something stupid and didn't tell you?

Her: No. What do you mean?

Me: Come on, we are not stupid. What you are doing with POSOM.

Her: What do you mean?

Me: You are having an affair. I don't know that it is PA yet, but it will be soon.

Her: I love my husband.

Me: I know, that's why I am trying to help you.

Her: It's hard. I am so lonely BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Me: I can help you get pointed in the right direction so you don't have to be lonely. You could feel better WITH your husband. It would be the best thing for you and for your children. I am NOT saying that you need to stay married to husband forever but you can't do THIS.

Her: BLAH BLAH(history rewrite)

Me: it's NO excuse for what you are doing. I have always told my friends that if I found out about an affair I would tell their spouse.

Her: So you are going to tell my husband?

Me: Not today.

Her: I love my husband.

Me: What would you do if the first time you and POSOM had sex, your H and POSOM'W walked in on you two? Where would you live? What would you do? You both don't have a job and you both don't have any money. People always affair DOWN. This POS isn't BETTER, you would be WORSE off and so would your kids. I am NOT doing this for your husband. I am telling this for YOU. I am YOUR friend and I can't stand by and watch you do this. We are all talking about you. This is HORRIBLE. Do you want this kind of rep? Besides what is this teaching your children? Your DD's should go around WH-ing with married men?

Her: H isn't a good dad.

Me: Then you need to be a sane and stable parent and show them right from wrong.

I didn't get to finish, but I said a mouth full. I told her that I am going to print some stuff off for her and see what she thinks. She doesn't get onto the computer very often, so I dunno if I can get her on here. She is an avid reader so I am going to loan her some books. Which one should I get her to read first? I thought SAA. Whatcha think?


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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You did the right thing Scotty, I am so in awe of you right now....She is complaining about her husband and she feels okay about taking someone elses...I just dont get it Arghhhh!!!

His needs, her needs is a good one too...

T/J PEP, I am so sorry to hear about your father...you are in my thoughts and prayers....


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

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Originally Posted by Scotland
I started by saying, "Hello friend. Would you say we are friends?"

She said : Yes
Me: would I be a good friend if I watched you do something stupid and didn't tell you?

Her: No. What do you mean?Her: H isn't a good dad.

Me: Then you need to be a sane and stable parent and show them right from wrong.

You rock Scotty! The two above quotes are my favs! I too am in awe of you.


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I have to get HNHN back from my bestfriend. I loaned another friend FIL SIL too. What I have in my house right now is LB and SAA. I thought SAA would be a good one until I could get HNHN back from my BF.

Her DD's are having a bday party on Saturday, and I was just informed that POSOM will be there too. Oh, that is NOT a good idea. Why do people do that? ARGH. I can't tell her BH until at least Monday. I told my other friend that I don't even care if she is standing right there. ARGH ARGH ARGH. Doing the right thing sucks sometimes.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
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Ah now I get it! Bampot left his nuts at home and scotty is carrying them around in her pocket.


Guttsy and i am proud of you scotty, I don't think I would have been that outspoken.


You rock gurlfren


Me 56 Former BS
Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years.
4 children
DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4
Me former BS
DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr
DSs 26 and 23
Teilhard de Chardin..We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. ...Sounds about right to me.
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Pep, I am so sorry for your loss. I agree he must have been an awesome man. He lives on in you. ((((hugs))))

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