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Gerka,

You need to be able to tell the difference between friend and foe. I am sure your folks are friends. If you have any brains go see them...NOW!!!

As for your W, just tell your boss you turned her and her boyfriend in for the affair they were having while you were in a combat zone. She may still not need to PCS anywhere, if her filing false reports gets on her records.

You have married a very very dumb woman Gerka. I really hate to tell you this but people like her should never be in the military and certainly not armed.

Have a talk with your superior, and then take leave and go home.

God Bless,

JL

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Hello - new here...

Gerka - I was following your thread. I was trying to find the day/date so that I could read up on the final outcome of your W and the OM with regards to the military's penalty of the A after final investigation.

Earlier this week, I submited to Inpector General all the evidence that a military service men had an A with my wife (civilian). Since I submitted as "anonymous", I was told that I will never know the details. Just wanted to know what happened to your wife and the OM from a penalty standpoint?

Thanks,


Bomb - End of June2010
Me-H, W (WalkAway with EA), 3 young kids
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Originally Posted by Maxfly
Hello - new here...

Gerka - I was following your thread. I was trying to find the day/date so that I could read up on the final outcome of your W and the OM with regards to the military's penalty of the A after final investigation.

Earlier this week, I submited to Inpector General all the evidence that a military service men had an A with my wife (civilian). Since I submitted as "anonymous", I was told that I will never know the details. Just wanted to know what happened to your wife and the OM from a penalty standpoint?

Thanks,

Nothing. Virtually impossible to prove without photographs of them having sex, or sworn statements by them admitting that they were. Both investigations came back as unfounded.

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Gerka,

What's new? How are you doing, Soldier?

AM


BW - 65
WH - 60
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
DD - 44, DS - 30, DS - 23
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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Gerka - wondering how you're doing as well. Drop us a line when you can!


Formerly ConfuzedHusband
BH
WW (Now XW)
Married 4 years, No children.
EA/PA from 2/2008 to 5/2008.
DDay: 5/17/2008 - Separated 6/1/2008 - Filed 8/3/2008
Divorce final 3/2009.

Now in a committed relationship with a woman of character who loves me so much better and deeper than I ever dreamed possible. I had no idea what I was missing out on and am so grateful God gave me a free "second chance" at love and life.
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Life goes on. Back to work here at Fort Polk. It's boring, but steady. I'm in a new place, with new stuff. All of her stuff (and anything of mine that reminded me of her) is in a storage unit off post. Movers should be coming for it tomorrow, though I haven't heard from them. She sent me a few emails to arrange that, and offered to let me keep the dog while she was deployed like she was doing me a favor. I plainly said I didn't want him, and I wouldn't be taking him. She said I had until March to change my mind.

I'm surprised at how quickly and how well I've gotten over all of this. I work out 3 times a day, try to get involved at work, and the days seem to fly by. I've been doing a bit of charity\volunteer work on the weekends, and traveling to some of the larger cities within driving distance. Apparently I'm still a pretty good catch, judging by the amount of attention I'm getting from the opposite sex. I know it's weird but I had a real fear of being "damaged goods" so to speak. I still barely talk to my parents, and haven't gone back to visit them since I've been back. I know they think something is off, but it's easier just not to address it. I'm already at the point where I can make it through an entire day without thinking about my ex. I haven't visited this site in more than a month. The only reason I though to is because it's on my browser bar. I'm thinking it's probably time to delete it and move on.

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Gerka,

When there are no kids and the other was so nasty during the marriage....

We all heal at different rates. My current wife didn't grive much over the loss of her first marriage.

It took me a few years to feel normal again.

Are you damaged goods?

Yes and no. Be wiser about who you get involved with and look for certain character traits.

I'm sure you'll be considered a good catch, but focus on you for the moment and focus on your career.

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Hi Gerka,

You sound well. I am glad. Of course, women will be interested in you. Thirty or so years ago, I briefly dated a man I met at work in the Army. His first wife betrayed him, got pregnant from his former best friend, and they divorced. He was still hurting pretty badly when we met. A couple of years later, he married someone, had two sons, a successful military career, and a rewarding second career after he retired. I saw him at a meeting 3 or 4 years ago, and he commented on what a good life he has had. Even though he had been profoundly hurt, this man was not damaged goods. Neither are you. Knowing about MB, you will be so much smarter than before. I really wish I learned MB methods before being married 25 years and in a crisis.

Please, please give your parents a frequent shout out. Even if you don't want to talk about the divorce or deployment, let them know you are doing ok. I hope you will see them soon.

Best wishes if you travel down the road and don't stop back at this place again. I know you have a wonderful life ahead of you.

AM




BW - 65
WH - 60
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
DD - 44, DS - 30, DS - 23
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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Good to hear from you Gerk. I'm sorry we couldn't help you with your intended goal, but I hope we were able to help in other ways. I'm glad you are healing and moving on. You aren't damaged good and you can tell because you aren't dwelling on your ex every day. I'm sure you will get swooped up soon by a much better woman in the near future. Just make sure that it occurs after the D is final, and use your experience to be a bit more discerning for you next potential mate. Best of luck, now and in the future!


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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Watched the movers box up all her stuff on Friday. It's all out of my life. Sadly it's all going to Fort Campbell, so I guess she's still chasing OM (he just got stationed there.) That can't end well for that family. I feel bad for them. But the last thing OM's W told me was "STOP CONTACTING ME." Hope she's ready to defend her marriage against a local girl, 10 years her junior and 10 dress sizes smaller.

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Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
Watched the movers box up all her stuff on Friday. It's all out of my life. Sadly it's all going to Fort Campbell, so I guess she's still chasing OM (he just got stationed there.) That can't end well for that family. I feel bad for them. But the last thing OM's W told me was "STOP CONTACTING ME." Hope she's ready to defend her marriage against a local girl, 10 years her junior and 10 dress sizes smaller.

And 10 times more crazy.

Not your concern anymore. How much longer until you are officially divorced? Keep in touch.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story
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Watched the movers box up all her stuff on Friday. It's all out of my life. Sadly it's all going to Fort Campbell, so I guess she's still chasing OM (he just got stationed there.) That can't end well for that family. I feel bad for them. But the last thing OM's W told me was "STOP CONTACTING ME." Hope she's ready to defend her marriage against a local girl, 10 years her junior and 10 dress sizes smaller.

...And 10 times less moral and less honest.

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I am sorry to hear this since if I remember correctly there are children involved in the other marriage.

Who knows, maybe after the infidelity diet, the OMW is now the same size as your WXW?


BW - 65
WH - 60
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
DD - 44, DS - 30, DS - 23
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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So here's a WTF... I got a call from my parents on Saturday. WW dropped the dog off with them, saying he wasn't happy with her, and she's deploying in February anyway. They said he's lost weight, and seems fearful now. Strange. Still, as big a deal as she made over the dog (even amending the divorce paperwork to reflect that she wanted the dog) I can't believe she just dropped him off. Makes me think she just took him to be petty.

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Yup, that is what she did.

Have a good life Gerka, she won't.

God Bless,

JL

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Originally Posted by Just Learning
Yup, that is what she did.

Have a good life Gerka, she won't.

God Bless,

JL

Quoted for truth. Best wishes.


Formerly ConfuzedHusband
BH
WW (Now XW)
Married 4 years, No children.
EA/PA from 2/2008 to 5/2008.
DDay: 5/17/2008 - Separated 6/1/2008 - Filed 8/3/2008
Divorce final 3/2009.

Now in a committed relationship with a woman of character who loves me so much better and deeper than I ever dreamed possible. I had no idea what I was missing out on and am so grateful God gave me a free "second chance" at love and life.
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Gerka,

Of course, it was to be petty. There is no other reason someone that self-centered would want an animal.

I am so glad for you and for your dog that you are getting the dog. It sounds as if the dog needs recovery from XWW as the time spent with her was tough on him (?). Are you picking dog up from your parents? will they deliver? If divorce agreement reflects dog is with XWW, what will you do to ensure she does not pop back in saying you stole the dog?

Hope everything else is well with you.

AM





BW - 65
WH - 60
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
DD - 44, DS - 30, DS - 23
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
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Hey, Gerka, good to see you pop in for a bit. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, and I hope she'll soon stop bothering you forever.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Quote
WW dropped the dog off with them, saying he wasn't happy with her,


Smart dog!

Quote
Still, as big a deal as she made over the dog (even amending the divorce paperwork to reflect that she wanted the dog) I can't believe she just dropped him off. Makes me think she just took him to be petty.


I don't think so. Remember, she had to go out of her way to get the dog. And you willingly agreed to let her have the dog.

I think she expected the dog to bring her comfort in her looney wayward life. But, there is no dog who can do that.

Now she's chasing OM believing he will bring her life meaning and fullfillment.

So sad.

Quote
They said he's lost weight, and seems fearful now.

Well, at least she gave him back, rather then dump him somewhere.

Will you get him now?








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Yeah, I have the dog now. He's doing well. Divorce was final a month ago. I just got around to updating all of that with the Army (what an embarrassing process) this week. Got a letter today from the Army stating she changed her life insurance beneficiary to someone other than me. Other than stuff like that which happens on occasion, I don't find myself thinking about it very much. I'm thinking of taking this site out of my favorites, since it's the most constant reminder of what I went through.

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