DON'T answer until you complete your exposure and tell me what state you are in.

When you expose and he finds out, he will go CRAZY. Don't take his calls. If he gets through, just tell him calmly, "I am spreading the good news! There is no reason that everyone shouldn't know about your adultery." Then smile..

Don't laugh [because he will be stupid], don't fight, don't try to reason. Just say "so sorry you are upset, dear!"

Massachusetts

You can file on GROUNDS in Mass. You have him by the balls...

Go ahead and send out your exposure letters now, tell your son, and make any phone calls.

Go to your bank account online and move all your money except about $20 to another account.

Then text your H back and say: "thanks for the heads up. I will be countersuing on grounds of adultery. This means that your adultery partner, Skankyhola, will be subpeonaed to the stand. Love, soblue"

Is this still a plan of reconciliation or is it a f**k you?

My goal is to help you get your H back! Plan f* u is to do nothing. You have to make it as tough as possible for him to destroy your marriage. Going along with him will only result in a destroyed marriage.

See, he believes from past experience that you will do nothing to stop him and will along with him and help him pursue his affair and destroy your marriage. You are firing a shot over the bough that you are standing up for your marriage and will make it as tough as possible.

NOW, do I have real high hopes for you? No, I don't. The reason is because he has been fogged out and entitled for YEARS. But, if you are going to save this marriage, the plan I propose gives you the BEST CHANCE.

This is Plan Reality for your WH.

I can't wait to go into this plan.

Thank you!

He called and went through my son to get to me. He talked to him first then asked to talk to me. He got to me, I admit it. I agree, he does think I'm weak and won't do anything about it because all I do is cry when I see him or talk to him. I admit, I'm not even angry yet, just completely devastated.

He even told me that I had to face reality and lawyer up because this divorce is happening. I told him I needed time and his response was for what? The quicker we get this done the cheaper it will be. He is not fighting me for custody he said his lawyer told him not to that the courts want one parent to be in control. At least he's being sensible about that. He still wants to do mediation. He says our case is cut and dry, no need for a lawyer. I dont feel strong enough right now or anytime I'm near him to feel protected enough to be without a lawyer. I won't make it easy for him though, I will drag my feet as long as possible.

He does bring out the worst in me, I do have to admit. Thanks for the support, Keep it coming!

thats nice but what does it have to do with your plan? Of course he is hoping you will roll over with no complaint so he can easily divorce you.

Did you read my last posts about exposure and telling him you would countersue on grounds of adultery? Where do we stand on that?

I will keep it in mind when I get a lawyer. I should be able to find one that would like that.

soblue, try and stay on track here and don't allow him to throw you off your game. He is just a distraction right now. Don't let him distract you!

Yes, I have to stay focused on the plan! He is a huge distraction. Like you, I don't see much hope. I guess I thought being an easy wife was best, if there's a next time lessons have been learned. No more doormat!

Cooperating with someone whose goal is the destruction of your marriage will result in..............a destroyed marriage.

Stick to your plan, not his. Expose this affair, soblue! Text him and say you have given this some thought and decided you won't be cooperating with his divorce schemes, but that you will be countersuing on grounds of adultery and having Skanky #1 and Skanky #2 hauled into court to testify about their adultery with him.

if he calls and wants to discuss it again, tell him you prefer to leave all that unpleasant talk to the attorneys, BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

Any luck on finding the OW's parents??

I think they're dead. She had a quote on her facebook page about missing her parents.

Melodylane, why do you recommend she tell her wayward husband that she's countersuing on grounds of adultery? I think she will do it & he doesnt think she has it in her.
Soon the exposure is going to hit and I am just trying to understand your reasoning on this point.
I am not challenging it - just want to follow the logic. Do you think she should contact him with this info? Wouldn't that just give him a heads up to prepare his defense better?

He is emboldened because he thinks she will roll over and play dead. HOWEVER, he will have huge second thoughts if he knows that he will be in for the fight of his life. A fight that will drag his OW to the stand. That will slow him down. If he thinks she will coooperate, then he will pursue the easy divorce.

Telling this will throw a huge wrench in his fantasy and give him a wake up call. He has fantasized that he will push her aside and replace her with an OW......with ease. She needs to dispel that notion soon.


No, it will scare him and slow him down.

Maybe she misses them because they are out of town? Have you done any back ground checks on her to get the names of relatives? Does she have an unusual last name where you can look up relatives on facebook and find HER in their friends list?

WE really need to find some relatives!

Ok, letters are sent. Sent them on Friday, should be a miserable week next week.

I emailed her facebook page and let her know in a nice manner that up until the end of Nov. we were a happily married couple and that regardless of what she'd been told, he wasn't intending on ending our marriage on Nov. 3 when he sent me a text telling me how lucky he was to have me for a wife. I sent it through my older son's facebook because he has a different last name then we do. He's wwh's stepson.

Anyway that night around 11 he texted me to remind me to erase SS's sent box on his fb page so he doesn't read the text I sent to OW on fb.

The next day he called me several times but after the night before's disastrous phone call I decided not to answer and my son wasn't around so I let it ring. Later I listened and he said that last night's phone call didn't turn out well but that he wanted to talk to me. Emailing people on FB wasn't the way to get this divorce done nicely. He said he wanted to talk to me about what I wanted exactly so that we could proceed.

After a couple of hours I texted him back and took this as an opportunity to tell him what I wanted...Him to stop his affair, us to go to counseling (good counseling) and see what we could make of our marriage. I told him that I loved him and wanted my marriage and family back and if he wasn't willing to do that, at least give me some time.

His response was what do you mean by time specifically?

I told him to slow down that I felt like we were heading for a train wreck.

His response... Recent actions (emails-facebook) is not smart. My assumption is that you are getting some advise from MBJG. It is not good advise. It will have lasting devastating reprecussions. That is not a threat. Just a possible reality. This divorce is between the two of us. We need to work together for the boys. Turning my friends family etc. against me is not good for anyone. Divorce takes time. It isn't drive through service. It takes several months. The train wreck is easily avoidable. You can have custody and decent child support if all remains calm or it could go the other way. It is your choice.

Yikes, wait till next week then if the email got that much of a rise out of him.

He is texting his brother a lot now probably to try to find out what MBJB is telling me. He is also monitoring my cell calls and texts. He has the account in his name and I couldn't get the pass word changed when I tried.

Anything I should know now. I was thinking about deleting my posts so he can't find them if he does figure out about this site.?????

I haven't given him the threat of the counter suit for cause yet but if he contacts me again with threatening tones I will let him know. I was also thinking about telling him that if that happens cell phone and computer records could be subpoenaed (don't know it that's true) but I do know being a teacher, he doesn't want his computer looked at. Any advise with that? Is that true?

soblue, have you been able to find the OW's parents? What about any family members?

And yes, if you countersue on grounds of adultery, they will subpoena his cell phone and computer records. ALSO, if his school is anything like they are here in Texas, they will confiscate his computer and look at his records to see if he has been conducting his affair at work.

Can you go get a new cell phone?