Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 7 of 18 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 17 18
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
UPDATE:
He did close on the condo. I checked the public records and it is listed as the 27th. I don't know if that is when it was recorded or when he closed.
I am trying to figure out what I am looking at.
There are 3 banks involved.
WELLS FARGO BANK NA ATTY IN FACT
HWBC BANK USA NA TR
HOME EQUITY LOAN TRUST SERIES AVE 2006 AF1


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
I think he closed before he filed. Either way he is in big trouble because I didn't sign anything.


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Originally Posted by letgoletGod
UPDATE:
He did close on the condo. I checked the public records and it is listed as the 27th. I don't know if that is when it was recorded or when he closed.
I am trying to figure out what I am looking at.
There are 3 banks involved.
WELLS FARGO BANK NA ATTY IN FACT
HWBC BANK USA NA TR
HOME EQUITY LOAN TRUST SERIES AVE 2006 AF1
Depends on where you're reading the names of those. Are they the Grantors on the deed? It sounds like he bought a foreclosed condo.

See if you can find another doc in his name that was filed at the same time. That should be his mortgage.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Originally Posted by letgoletGod
I think he closed before he filed. Either way he is in big trouble because I didn't sign anything.
Well, now that's an interesting point. I think your state is a dower state and may require you to 'sign off' on the condo, releasing your interest in the mortgage. I would check with an attorney about that.

Unless he paid cash and didn't take out a mortgage...do you think that would be possible?


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Originally Posted by letgoletGod
UPDATE:
He did close on the condo. I checked the public records and it is listed as the 27th. I don't know if that is when it was recorded or when he closed.
I am trying to figure out what I am looking at.
There are 3 banks involved.
WELLS FARGO BANK NA ATTY IN FACT
HWBC BANK USA NA TR
HOME EQUITY LOAN TRUST SERIES AVE 2006 AF1
Depends on where you're reading the names of those. Are they the Grantors on the deed? It sounds like he bought a foreclosed condo.

See if you can find another doc in his name that was filed at the same time. That should be his mortgage.
He did buy a foreclosed condo. The paperwork I found was with wells fargo.


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Originally Posted by letgoletGod
I think he closed before he filed. Either way he is in big trouble because I didn't sign anything.
Well, now that's an interesting point. I think your state is a dower state and may require you to 'sign off' on the condo, releasing your interest in the mortgage. I would check with an attorney about that.

Unless he paid cash and didn't take out a mortgage...do you think that would be possible?
I was told by the lawyer's secretary that I made the appointment with that it is a law that I have to sign off on it. (of course that was off the record because she can't give me legal advice.)
all three of the banks are pointing to him. Then the one that says TR at the end is him pointing back. I think that is the bank that owned it.


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
Reading it again this is what I think.

HWBC BANK USA NA TR
HOME EQUITY LOAN TRUST SERIES AVE 2006 AF1
are the banks that owned it.
The thing that makes me nervous is this.

WELLS FARGO BANK NA ATTY IN FACT
Att in fact sounds like he just used the mortgage company to close and he did pay cash.


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
Originally Posted by letgoletGod
Reading it again this is what I think.

HWBC BANK USA NA TR
HOME EQUITY LOAN TRUST SERIES AVE 2006 AF1
are the banks that owned it.
The thing that makes me nervous is this.

WELLS FARGO BANK NA ATTY IN FACT
Att in fact sounds like he just used the mortgage company to close and he did pay cash.
The more I think about it the more I believe he did buy it outright before he filed. I hope the lawyer can get a copy of all transactions in his checking account to show he took funds from our banks, stocks and 401K to pay for it. It may not matter anyways because if he owns it outright it is still 1/2 mine.


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Quote
The more I think about it the more I believe he did buy it outright before he filed. I hope the lawyer can get a copy of all transactions in his checking account to show he took funds from our banks, stocks and 401K to pay for it. It may not matter anyways because if he owns it outright it is still 1/2 mine.
All of the banks you've listed sound like the typical 'owner' of the property. They're legally required to list their ownership that way on the deed.

I suspect he paid cash, because I think your state is a dower state. If that's the case, the lender would have wanted you to sign off on the mortgage.

And, of course, you know you have a legal right to a portion of the condo ownership because of those same dower rights. wink


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Quote
The more I think about it the more I believe he did buy it outright before he filed. I hope the lawyer can get a copy of all transactions in his checking account to show he took funds from our banks, stocks and 401K to pay for it. It may not matter anyways because if he owns it outright it is still 1/2 mine.
All of the banks you've listed sound like the typical 'owner' of the property. They're legally required to list their ownership that way on the deed.

I suspect he paid cash, because I think your state is a dower state. If that's the case, the lender would have wanted you to sign off on the mortgage.

And, of course, you know you have a legal right to a portion of the condo ownership because of those same dower rights. wink
Yes I own 1/2 of it. I was thinking about it and trying to figure out how he could justify his actions and it hit me. A few months back when he said he was done and became single, we had a conversation. He said "I was thinking and instead of renting I should buy. There are a lot of good deals out there. It would be a great investment for the kids future." I said something to the effect of we should discuss this before he signs anything or does anything that involves our finances. I guess he took that as we discussed it so I knew about it all along and I am a liar.


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
I need advice please!
I was going to send my "This is not your home so stop popping in and btw get your crap out of here" speach to WH last night. I wasn't quick enough. He comes here around 8pm and makes himself at home. Hanging with the kids, getting on his laptop. I knew he wasn't planning on leaving. I got him alone and told him how I feel, told him he has his own home. He told me this is his home where his kids and his stuff is and he has every right to be here. A few exchanges later he left the room. I didn't know what to do at that point. I thought about calling the police but not knowing his mental state I don't know what would happen. He has checked everything out to make sure he does everything legally.
Suggestions please.


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
I don't know how it works where you live, but here, I wouldn't be able to call the police on my WH because he has ALL legal right to live here too.

What I would suggest is that you keep Plan Aing, which includes making your plans for Plan B. As soon as you are ready for Plan B, pack up his things. Get him a message letting him know that you need to talk. Tell him that this is hurting you too much and you need for him to go. He may not go, and you will need to know what you can do legally, if it comes to that.

You are still in Plan A, and the worst part about Plan A, is that you have to deal with a cake-eating wayward. It is a very emotionally taxing time and that is why DrH suggests a short Plan A for women. Take care hun.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688
You, my dear, need a very, very precise, determined attorney.

Your WW is so very flagrent and abusive (and fast and loose with YOUR money at this point). He obviously seems to use you as a doormat at this point.

He is going to have 1000 excuses and reasons (for the future of the kids) and these is going to be no reasoning with him.

You can not plan A yourself into financial ruin.

Have you done a net search about attourneys that serve your county?

Last edited by barbiecat; 02/02/11 08:43 AM.

Me; W 46
Him; H 46

2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688
Then tell him you own 1/2 of his new "forclosed condo" and YOU have every right to be there. request a key. OR a buyout of 1/2 the ammount paid for the condo.
Fog talk his hinney at every point. Get some legal help before you are broke.

Originally Posted by letgoletGod
I need advice please!
I was going to send my "This is not your home so stop popping in and btw get your crap out of here" speach to WH last night. I wasn't quick enough. He comes here around 8pm and makes himself at home. Hanging with the kids, getting on his laptop. I knew he wasn't planning on leaving. I got him alone and told him how I feel, told him he has his own home. He told me this is his home where his kids and his stuff is and he has every right to be here. A few exchanges later he left the room. I didn't know what to do at that point. I thought about calling the police but not knowing his mental state I don't know what would happen. He has checked everything out to make sure he does everything legally.
Suggestions please.


Me; W 46
Him; H 46

2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
Originally Posted by Scotland
I don't know how it works where you live, but here, I wouldn't be able to call the police on my WH because he has ALL legal right to live here too.

What I would suggest is that you keep Plan Aing, which includes making your plans for Plan B. As soon as you are ready for Plan B, pack up his things. Get him a message letting him know that you need to talk. Tell him that this is hurting you too much and you need for him to go. He may not go, and you will need to know what you can do legally, if it comes to that.

You are still in Plan A, and the worst part about Plan A, is that you have to deal with a cake-eating wayward. It is a very emotionally taxing time and that is why DrH suggests a short Plan A for women. Take care hun.
This is the problem. Maritalblis stated she was concerned about my love bank depleting and at the time it was pretty low. I am getting to the point that it may become empty very soon.

He can legally come and go as he pleases. I know he has checked into the laws and has carefully planned this out for months.


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Then what is YOUR plan? Will you be moving out temporarily until he decides to leave? Of course, you will take the kids with you. I am NOT suggesting this as your plan, I am just throwing out options. Brainstorming this sitch to figure out what is the best option for YOU and your kids. When you brainstorm, you start looking at ALL of your options and you can figure out a PLAN.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
Originally Posted by Scotland
Then what is YOUR plan? Will you be moving out temporarily until he decides to leave? Of course, you will take the kids with you. I am NOT suggesting this as your plan, I am just throwing out options. Brainstorming this sitch to figure out what is the best option for YOU and your kids. When you brainstorm, you start looking at ALL of your options and you can figure out a PLAN.
Thanks Scotland.
He will call my bluff but that is his problem. I think I will rent a hotel for a few days until my parents get here. (they aren't coming until the 15th) We need a fun time after all the drama that is going on.

Throw more ideas please! OH! I could take the kids to his sister's house!


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
Scotland,
You have opened a sick can of worms. WH is all about the kids. He doesn't want me. I should pack a bag, tell him I am going on a vacation and tell him to call me when he has moved out. He will have to do everything I do for the kids. LGLG likes this plan.
dance2 dance2


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
Originally Posted by barbiecat
You, my dear, need a very, very precise, determined attorney.

Your WW is so very flagrent and abusive (and fast and loose with YOUR money at this point). He obviously seems to use you as a doormat at this point.

He is going to have 1000 excuses and reasons (for the future of the kids) and these is going to be no reasoning with him.

You can not plan A yourself into financial ruin.

Have you done a net search about attourneys that serve your county?
barbiecat,
This is what I am dealing with. I have an attorney but my appointment isn't until Monday. It is a REALLY good attorney who has handled many cases like mine and has been highly successful.


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
L
Member
OP Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 618
Originally Posted by barbiecat
Then tell him you own 1/2 of his new "forclosed condo" and YOU have every right to be there. request a key. OR a buyout of 1/2 the ammount paid for the condo.
Fog talk to his hinney at every point. Get some legal help before you are broke.
I brought this up in our talk last night. I said "How would you feel if I had a key to the condo and came and went as I pleased." He said he was fine with that. So I said "Ok then give me a key." I am still waiting on my key. I think I will ask him for it over and over (nicely though) until it drives him nuts.

Actually, I can hire a lock smith and have him change the locks. It's legally mine right? I think that is just crazy enough to work! This is what I will say to him. "WH, can you make me a copy of the key for the condo today?" If he says no or puts me off I will say "I don't want to incur the cost of a lock smith." Love it,


BW 46
XWH 46
Boys 17 & 19
Girls 16 & 10
D-day #1 12/2006 (confessed affair in 2004 w/BF & his wife)
D-day #2 10/2008 (denied by XWH)
D-day #3 10/2010
Kick WH out 01/2011 he files for D
D finally final 03/2012
I'm free!
Page 7 of 18 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 17 18

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (1 invisible), 731 guests, and 57 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,838 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5