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OM may dump her once his W finds out, too. That would be a huge benefit to you.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. 
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she's finding out how far I've exposed...2 brothers have called & she was visibly upset. She is outraged that I exposed to OM's son, who is an adult in the marine corps. Which means of course that OM is outraged. Let me shed a tear.
WW: "If you thought this would endear you to me, you thought wrong. I don't know what you're capable of and that is disturbing to me."
my only response was "I am defending my M and family"
she's about as mad as I've ever seen her
BS (me) 49
WW 49
married 6 years
dday1 8/23/10 NC 9/3/10
NC broken 12/10
dday2 2/6/11
NC2 3/5/11
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how long should I anticipate the silent treatment, and should I be scarce while she's this angry?
BS (me) 49
WW 49
married 6 years
dday1 8/23/10 NC 9/3/10
NC broken 12/10
dday2 2/6/11
NC2 3/5/11
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Hang in there F4L. I'll let some of the vets answer more specifically, but for ME... my W went from saying some of the more brutal, awful things she could on the day of exposure, to becoming somewhat apologetic within a week.
She still says she can't forgive me--it's just projecting, I think... after all, I ruined her affair and forced her to actually look at the consequences of her actions...
But the difference is, her affair has ended and she's back with ME now.
Words mean very little. Actions mean everything, and your actions are telling her that you aren't going to go down without a fight.
BS: Me, 27
WS: Her, 24
EA: October
PA: 11/22/10
Moved out 12/3/10
Moved back in mid-January.
In tentative recovery. Is that the sun I see, breaking through the fog?
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WW: "I don't know what you're capable of and that is disturbing to me." A statement simply dripping with unintentional irony. Sometimes I wonder if waywards even listen to themselves! tl
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WW: "I don't know what you're capable of and that is disturbing to me." A statement simply dripping with unintentional irony. Sometimes I wonder if waywards even listen to themselves! tl Mine said the same thing! As well as "I just don't think I can trust you anymore." Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. 
Last edited by StuckWaiting; 02/07/11 06:16 PM.
BS: Me, 27
WS: Her, 24
EA: October
PA: 11/22/10
Moved out 12/3/10
Moved back in mid-January.
In tentative recovery. Is that the sun I see, breaking through the fog?
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WW: "If you thought this would endear you to me, you thought wrong. I don't know what you're capable of and that is disturbing to me."  Do not laugh at her when she says stupid things like this!! It will be hard because a freshly busted WS says the most inane things you ever heard in your life. Go in the bathroom and shut the door if you feel a laugh coming on.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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laughs are quite a ways off, mel
BS (me) 49
WW 49
married 6 years
dday1 8/23/10 NC 9/3/10
NC broken 12/10
dday2 2/6/11
NC2 3/5/11
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Hang in there, fight!! It will get better, I promise. You are closer to saving your marriage TODAY than you were yesterday. Just think of it that way.
I think you can cause major damage if you get through to the OMW. Keep up the pressure, friend!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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even though he has been seperated for a year? (he had some fb posts that seemed to confirm this)
BS (me) 49
WW 49
married 6 years
dday1 8/23/10 NC 9/3/10
NC broken 12/10
dday2 2/6/11
NC2 3/5/11
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even though he has been seperated for a year? (he had some fb posts that seemed to confirm this) oh yes!! He is still married. And he may not be separated at all. If he is getting a divorce then the evidence of this affair can be very helpful to his wife.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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As far as you telling his son, what would be wrong with that? If it is ok for him to have an affair with a married woman, then why isn't it ok to tell everyone? His son sure has a right to know what he is doing since it directly affects his family.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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how long should I anticipate the silent treatment, and should I be scarce while she's this angry? She'll get over it. Waywards stayed ticked for awhile and then it blows itself out. If I were you, I'd be scared if she wasn't angry.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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I have a looming crisis this weekend...her family is gathering at her brother's house on Fri/Sat for her mother's b'day. I found out from the VAR that she was planning on spending the night on Fri w/OM. I was to stay home with our older son because he has sports commitments.
I feel like I can't stay home, that I'll lose my mind. She is pretty ticked off at me & doesn't want me around. I feel like I have to insist I go if only to ensure she behaves herself. Thoughts?
BS (me) 49
WW 49
married 6 years
dday1 8/23/10 NC 9/3/10
NC broken 12/10
dday2 2/6/11
NC2 3/5/11
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MAN UP and put a stop to that.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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I have a looming crisis this weekend...her family is gathering at her brother's house on Fri/Sat for her mother's b'day. I found out from the VAR that she was planning on spending the night on Fri w/OM. I was to stay home with our older son because he has sports commitments.
I feel like I can't stay home, that I'll lose my mind. She is pretty ticked off at me & doesn't want me around. I feel like I have to insist I go if only to ensure she behaves herself. Thoughts? Have you exposed the affair to her mother?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Everyone should know about the affair and her plans to meet up with that scumbag this weekend, including your son. But before you put a stop to this, I would FAST get a GPS on her car. There are several over on the snooping forum: here If she insists on continuing with her rendevous I would tell her you will attending also. Please KEEP trying to get the OMW. Have you tried calling the OM's house to see who answers?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I have a looming crisis this weekend...her family is gathering at her brother's house on Fri/Sat for her mother's b'day. I found out from the VAR that she was planning on spending the night on Fri w/OM. I was to stay home with our older son because he has sports commitments.
I feel like I can't stay home, that I'll lose my mind. She is pretty ticked off at me & doesn't want me around. I feel like I have to insist I go if only to ensure she behaves herself. Thoughts? This older son is her biological child and your step-son, right? I would let her know that HER SON has a sports commitment that requires her attendance this weekend.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Indeed you insist that she stays to attend her sons sport commitment and should she decline babble to her say that you, your children, brothers and her mother would be banging on her door after all what a better present for her mother's birthday to see the man who destroying her daughter and her family.
If she does not stay with you you go on Friday. Tell your children of her affair and name him so they know who is.
Last edited by Xau; 02/08/11 01:30 AM.
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sugar -
You need to relax a little. I don't need to man up, I was merely looking for ways to broach the subject. There was never any conceivable way I was going to stay home taking care of the kids while she was out w/OM.
Mel -
LM w/MIL, will follow up this AM. Only contact # I have for OMW is the home number, her voice on a machine. I'll call again today. One fb friend replied asking for me to explain/give proof which I did. I asked if OM was really seperated so we'll see what that yields.
Strange thing happened last night. About 3 am, WW rolls over and wants me to hold her. I know waywards are all over the place and I can't read anything into it (guilt? manipulation? whatever). It just seemed odd that on the day of exposure she chose to do this.
BS (me) 49
WW 49
married 6 years
dday1 8/23/10 NC 9/3/10
NC broken 12/10
dday2 2/6/11
NC2 3/5/11
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