Fantastic. Have a notebook handy and take notes.

for the price I thought maybe i'd get a transcript or something.

besides the notebook, is there anything that would help me get the most out of a session with Steve? I've spoken to counselors before, but I'm kinda nervous about this

Have some knowledge about the basic concepts (I'm assuming you already do). This will save a lot of time.

Steve's pretty good at being clear and concise with what he's telling you so taking notes is pretty easy. I STILL have my notes from when we counseled with him and if I look back at them now, they're very clear because of the way he explains things.

If you have any questions you want to ask him, write them down ahead of time so you don't forget!

Holy crap! Anyone who wants to save their M is doing themselves a great disservice if you don't talk to Steve Harley. I have spoken to counselors before, this was 1000 times more productive.

more good news...WW had an IC session today where she said she is kicking OM to the curb and her IC told her she'd made the right decision.

Hopefully this will send OM over the edge. I don't an ounce of humanity for this souless cretin and am certain that front row seat in hades awaits.

yippee!! What did he tell you in your session?

I gave him the basic info for about 30 minutes, just answering his questions...what are WW's issues in the M, who/how did you expose, background bio stuff. Then he laid out the plan. He said we have to deal with the injury of the A first and went step by step how its done, explaining in great detail, making sure I was understanding it. Said not to share that with WW, that was his job. Finally gave me some excellent pointers on how to approach WW to get her talking to him. I left feeling like it was a scientific equation and that if WW does the steps it WILL result in a connected fulfilling M that is filled with love.

BTW, session lasted 75 minutes.

SEe why I wanted him to talk to your wife?? If he can talk to her, he can SELL HER on the prospect of getting the same love in her marriage she got in her affair. That will bring her back to you. I am so glad you did this!

Don't you feel so much more hopeful now?

Just in case someone missed this.

Mel, you seem to be under the mistaken impression that you still have to convince me to listen to you. I think if you told me to dance naked on Main Street with an umbrella and 3 circus chimps, I would.

I paid him to say dat...

Now don't let that go to yer head there, Mel! The hair stands high enough already.

Higher the hair, the closer to God!

Our sessions with Steve usually lasted more than an hour, too.

The only negative thing I can say about speaking with him is that he was typically running quite late (like doctors), but we didn't mind because we knew he was spending extra time with his clients.

He talks until the conversation is complete, not until the 60 minute timer beeps.

This is exactly right ~ it IS an equation, based on actions and not "feelings". (ENs+ENs)-LBers=Great Marriage.

Simple.

P.S. our sessions were always longer than an hour too.

Well, its done, WW has ended it with OM. She never waivered since announcing this was her intention. Right now she just wants to be left alone. Don't really like that, but I'll only irritate her if I don't let it be. Better to let the scar form before engaging her.

When discussing the terms of NC, I asked that she tell me immediately if it is broken. She said, almost proudly, "HE won't do that." I know this probably didn't help me but I couldn't stop myself. I said, "Really? I guess that makes him an honorable scumbag. Don't forget that he was perfectly willing to destroy a family and do some serious damage to our kids without an effin' care in the world." She got real quiet and then just kinda mumbled "I know." If was exhilirating to urinate on that particular illusion.

She gets a short hiatus, then I'm setting her up with an appointment with Steve. I'd like to know when I get to start feeling better.

For any newbs out there, I never thought I would get to this point. I thought she would walk out upon exposure, then whenever I used the stick, thought OM would talk her out of NC. Our WWs control us with the threat of action, but if they were so courageous they wouldn't be in A's. Go ahead and expose, she is a paper bully, nothing will come of her anger.