beginagain... did you mention bankruptcy?? Yes, on 9/24 XH applied for bankruptcy to stop the D enforcement the following week. He left on 10/5/10 for a 10 day vacation/pigfest/affairage/honeymoon in Vegas. I was very happy to point that out at the creditors meeting in November.

They denied his original plan because of all the holes in it and "inaccuracies". His bankruptcy is affecting my credit because he stopped paying on a lot loan in September that was still in both of our names. He changed the deed but not the mortgage and even with the divorce decree I am still responsibile and I am getting dinged on my credit saying it is overdue now 60 days.

He told me in an earlier crazy email that he plans on helping DD17 with college once the bankruptcy is settled (meaning he will take out his secret funds I imagine). I am trying to find out what my rights are for all the money he owes me.

Affairs, the gift that keeps giving!

Our YS is going to a community college and we can help him somewhat by squeezing funds out of the budget, but a 4-yr college tuition is not possible Hopefully after the 60 month term ends (10/2012). He is very bitter as his friends (99%) went away to school, but I hope this teaches him to appreciate things...

I hope your XWH realizes that this is in a Federal court and to have "secret" accounts is liable to, at a minimum, deny his petition, plus lying on forms/to judge...wow, not very smart on his part.

ba

Begin, he should go to the colleges he hopes to go to and ask about financial aid and such. They are more than willing to give you information of that sort, and transfer students get consideration as well.

YS hopes to transfer after his associates degree. He won't qualify for financial aid as it goes by the parents income. He can't get loans as we can't cosign and he lives with us, not an independent student.

Well, I have to let it go and leave it to God, and hope for the best! There are worse things that could happen to a person...a former coworker lost his 17 yr old son to cancer on Dec. 30th, now that is real pain!

All the best,

ba

Remember your FAFSA. THIS year and next the intrest rate has been lowered for undergrad (a lot of people assume that they can not get $$ due to ammount and they never fill it out.)

I know people who make over 200K a year and their children still got fafsa $$$ (this year 4.9% next year 3.8%
best deal out there, now.)
(albiet non subsidised)

also - if you are planning on a 4 year-- go to the final (exit) university counselors about transfer credits.
Transfer credits = very wise choice
but not all classes will transfer for what you want.

My DD is on the 90 credit transfer (OU to Ferris) but she got this pre med applicable trans classes directly from FERRIS.

and you have to get at least a 2.0 (here in MI) for them to transfer.
beeeeee ---This has been an emergency broadcast of the knowitall network. I will return you now to your regular programming.

and late January/ early February is FAFSA TIME!!!

Just checking in with the MB gang.

Had good news today. Been taking the bull by the horns working on my credit situation because of XH bankruptcy court. Found out I can still get a mortgage if I decide to move. My credit score is at 630, not fantastic but "good enough" with explanation of D decree and what XH defaulted on.

The financial person I was working with was amazed that I had no real dings or late payments to my credit for over 20 years and only 2 small late payments prior. Everything paid on time. Gave me some financial confidence that I have options in spite of his crazy financial crash.

DD17 is doing well and has never responded to the infamous "college" email that XH sent. She just got nominated for a national math award and continues to thrive. She will be starting a job at the mall and I pray that she does not run into PP who is a mall rat (or rather pig).

Was proud of DD30 who usually feels sorry for XH. He sent her an email yesterday whining that DD17 will not see him or respond to him about college and if she doesn't he doesn't know if he "can help with college". Doesn't understand why DD17 will not break her silence and have a R with him.

DD30 told him..You put DD17 through alot when you started your A and moved out of the house. She was upset and you never recognized it or did anything about it. What did you expect. Even if she doesn't speak to you then you need to help pay for college because it is the right thing to do not conditional on her speaking to you.

DD30 rocked on that one.

Saw XH and PP at a meeting last week. He actually sat in the same row as me and he looked over at me a few times.
Funny story...VP making the presentation says I want to take this time to thank Hope for getting a program recertified. He looks around the room and then puts his hand up and waves to PP because she is sitting next to XH and for a second he mistakes her for me. Her whole face froze (and not from botox) then she grimaces. I was People in the room start to laugh. XH foot is tapping and I am enjoying the show. All I needed was popcorn.

After the meeting PP hooves it out the door first and it was the talk of the meeting.

I am a goddess and it is showing!

You ARE a goddes! Great update hope! Man that story is so popcorn worthy....

As to your daughters, good for them. What is it with waywards and conditional love? He's using college as a stick to coerce your D into a relationship with him. I'm sure it's a guilt thing - if he can have a R with her, then she must be ok and the divorce wasn't that bad, the affair wasn't that bad. All these waywards believe that their kids just want their parents to be happy - bull, kids want their parents to be PARENTS, the happiness is a bonus to them.

As her father, it is his RESPONSIBILITY to pay for her education - but we know what he does with responsibility? Smart of her to not fall for it or depend on him. His relationship with her is his responsibility (there's that word again) but see how he throws it all at her feet?

Wayward to the core.

I'm glad you're doing so well, hope! Thanks for the update.

Hope,

You sound so healthy and well. And you ARE a goddess. I am so happy for you.

AM

I am a goddess and it is showing! [/quote]

Good for you! Keep it up.

Hope, I love the fact that you are coming out of this hot mess smelling like a rose. Good for your daughters for sticking up for their beliefs (and for their mom).

Keep us posted (ha ha) about how the BKY ends up. I'm curious to know if they'll nail him for that.

Now that you've pretty much come through the fire, there are probably some newbies here at MB that could use your help and encouragement.

Hello MBers...checking in to update.

February was an interesting month. It was pretty quiet then boom small explosions from XH and PP.

PP joins FB and uses her M name but has never changed her name to date legally.

I then get an email from SIL saying "guess what I have 2 SIL on FB now PP and my brother joined FB". They wanted to send me their "wedding photos". Wanted to tell you before I saw her pic (first pic was an ugly one was her fake body draped on XH lap both looking drunk).

I sent response to SIL saying that is fine I will tell both DDs not to upset them and will block her profile so I do not have to see her. I also do not want to hear about their affairage photos.

Well then SIL sends a few emails to DD17 and she responds that she has blocked PP because she is a Biotch and some other choice stuff. SIL gets upset and forwards Email to XH. DD17 is balistic because she feels SIL betrayed her trust of not talking about her to XH.

SIL crys all weekend, XH gets mad sends horrible email to DDs on Valentines day calling DD17 "a punk" because of his sister and then says him and "his pig snout wife" were going to visit his family next year where SIL lives out of the country. DD30 is hurt because XH has made no plans in 2 years to fly out and see her even for a weekend but can go to Vegas a million times.

DD17 wants me to intervene (first time she ever asked). I ripped off email to XH to "fix this with his kids" Enough is enough they did nothing wrong and you think you make amends by calling your DD a punk...

He sends back an email saying he only reads first and last sentence and throws them out because he does not want to hear it. Only problem is original email is attached at bottom of his. Waywards are dumb.

Bottom line...SIL is supporting her brother and asked me not to contact her for awhile because of how upset she was anddid not want to chose. It does hurt because we have managed to be very close all of this time and talk every week or so. She is also upset with DD. It is really about XH making her chose. She chose poorly. I am hurt though because I feel I lost someone else that I loved in the divorce that keeps on giving. DD17 keeps asking if I have her from her Auntie. Sad because they were so close.


Another update: got letter from Bankruptcy court that XH petition might be dismissed by month's end because there was a laundry list of requirements for trustee that he never did. I was aware of a few but there were 6 serious items.

Trying to figure if I will sell or buy my house under conditions of the decree I need to decide by time DD turns 18. Sent an email to court/XH atty/XH requesting that if I sell/buy the house now I want the proceeds to be turned over to his creditors -- namely me.

Now XH is on the warpath. Sends rambling emails with unrealistic buyout prices that he pulled out of a hat with no factual base. He is telling me I have to give him a "moving date" because if house is not sold "he is renting it". D decree says I stay in home till it sells. Some of the 2 emails were unintelligible and I was just scratching my head. Angry angry.

Accused me of not giving him "his personal belongings" from the D. Says if I do not give him his stuff by next week he is coming to the house with the police to enforce his D decree. I said "wow, amazing that you want me to "obey" your D but when it comes to your agreements in the same D decree about money owed, loans defaulted and medical bills you ignore everything. Maybe I can call the police and ask them to enforce my portion."

Did you hear the sound of a nuclear bomb. Guess he lost his sense of humor living in the pig pen with PP.

Any legal eagles out there interested in helping me put a order into the bankruptcy court about the house? Need some help with the language...

Life goes on.

I keep hearing in my head "pride before the fall"....

Waaaaaay over my head.
No advice or wisdom here.
Just support for you personally.

Always appreciate the MB hugs of support. Just had to vent a bit and catch up with my MB novella!

Hope,

Hugs for you.

A few years ago, a staff member who worked for me had a magic want in her office. It was fancy, pink with ribbons and feathers. She called it her "make it so" wand and would wave it around in staff meetings when there was a particularly difficult problem. I wish I had her "make it so" wand for you and your situation.

Have never met you, but love you.

AM

Hope,

<<hugs>>

Why don't you reply on the two unintelligble e-mails that you only read the first sentence and not the rest? Or, contact your attorney with his payment arrangements for the monies owed?

On the house, depending on which state you are in, the divorce decree supercedes anything in bankruptcy. I think he is blowing smoke! Maybe he is having a "Charlie Sheen" moment!

Lastly, on your SIL, she made you and your DD feel bad. Perhaps you should block her on facebook and on your cell phone, you don't need people in your life that drag you and/or your daughters down, you can always reverse it down the road should the situation change. Jeeze, the nerve not to ask you to contact her after she stirred up the hornet's nest! More hugs!!

Keep on keeping on!

ba

I discovered that you can keep selected FB "friends" in the dark about selected areas of your FB page.

For example:

Photos can be friends only
or friends of friends
or everyone

OR .... friends only except (name).

This is true with all things in the privacy selection area of your account manager. Your updates, your status, whatever.

The "selected friend" (or fiend in your case) need not even know they have been selected OUT of viewing your stuff.

This can all be unselected at any time of your choosing.

It's another way to go.

Your decision.
You have options.

PS:

I did this with my son for awhile.
Rather than "un-friend" him, I selected to exclude him from just about everything until I was convinced he was healthy enough to be trusted.

Then, I went back and changed all my privacy selections to include him along with all my other friends.

Thanks all

Army mama instead of a pink wand I can use a broom and stick it

begin, I am composing a letter to the bankruptcy and to attorney with my offer. I was about me reading his first and last line. Yes we are coining a new phrase "a Charlie Sheen moment". That is exactly what I thought when i saw one of his interviews last night and had a flash that this guy certifiable and it reminded me of XH. Not pretty being a wayward these days.

Pepper, figured that out yesterday. Did not block her just blocked any wall posts and any pics that showed my daughters or myself. I left the albums up with my dogs!

I do feel bad about SIL. We have always been there for each other and now she is "friends" with PP who is telling her how wonderful she is treating her husband (rutting pig)

I am working on a new Plan, Not A, Not B, Not F just Plan Hope and family and I know whe will do well and it will work out.