Hi hope!

I got a chuckle out of your post about your XH being on the warpath and how he was pulling buyout numbers out of a hat- because my first thought was "I don't think it's a hat that he's pulling those out of...."

Hang in there. He's at the end of his rope. He thought he had it all figured out and nothing is working the way he thought. In his wayward mind, I'm sure he thinks if he just throws a really big fit, then the planets will suddenly align, and everything will work the way he thought they would. Too bad that he doesn't realize he isn't in control of the universe. Someone waaaay more qualified has that job.

Silly wayward....

Wow. I am so sorry you keep having to deal with the crazy wayward.

Just print and save. Should you have to have further legal dealings, this is just proof he's definitely lost his marbles!

I mean, who reads the first and last sentence of an email?

Again, Biiiiiig MB hug to you. (((((((((((Hope)))))))))))

Sadly, what will happen next is the slow, slow train wreck. Just keep a distance and do kinda plan B to them. They are still toxic, so remember that! Please do. They are unified against you as long as you have contact with them.

And blocking and having nc with sil is what is needed right now too. She is the "go between" between you both, working both ends against each other, and probably causing alot of drama.

Yes, there will def be "Sheen-isms" for quite a while now. If you do have to have contact with the wayward, here's a trick that always got my xh to listen to me during a convo. He was self self self absorbed. If he would say "I am really concerned that ds needs to be under your insurance plan ...or insert any silly or irrational thing a wayward says.." you respond with "Oh. You have a GOOD POINT. Then you gently negate what he says. He will listen because at the outset he will think you are in agreement with him. It worked for me.

But mostly I just avoided him like he had the plague.

They think they're life is "Epic". that they're "Winning"...and that they're so special that they must not be human, some kind of superhuman with "Adonis blood"...but sooner or later like Sheen, they will crash. And the reality surrounding them will be more than they can handle.

Btw, my xh and his ow/wistress wife are NOW DIVORCED as of last week.

So much for his "soul mate". We all know where the affairages are heading. We know the end of all of this.

Now YOU recover YOU. We are here! You just have a fabulous new beginning and remember, it is OK to hold the xwh accountable for keeping the divorce decree.

It is hard for a xws to do that. They lied and cheated to get out of the marriage, and when the marriage is over, they still feel in a bizarrre sense, tied to you and think they have to lie their way out of the fallout from the divorce.

That is just how it is. Hugs and take good care of you!

john's twin,
good to hear from you. Yes I was nice about pulling out of hat...but hhhmmmmmmm I am in agreement...

Nothing is working the way he thought. He is all caught up in the drama of the house, getting his "personal belongings" he was "awarded" in D, wrapped in all of the $$ and things. What about his DDs? Wish he was as committed to them but your right -- silly waywards.

Peachy, I read your story awhile back and you have climbed the mountain and are king of the hill. Bravo!

Yes it does seem to be turning into a train wreck no matter how he professes to everyone how "happy" he is. At work they say they are both the most miserable people they know. Only

Love the idea of saying "good point" to him. Of course now I have to find something that I can agree with???

I never thought that XH was still tied to me but recently he has shown that behavior...telling me how to take care of the yard, just random stuff.

Right now it is hard to stay in the dark till decision made on house. My plan is to be businesslike and have all my facts and let him run in circles and pretend he is charlie sheen.

Thanks for the hugs.

What a moron. Isn't it fascinating how "happy" people need to make others miserable. I always thought it was the other way around. That if you were happy, then you wanted others to be happy as well.

My bad....

I have to wonder if G-d isn't working his magic in life by showing us what drugs, alcohol and affairs to do someone's life right before our very eyes.

We are getting to see the insanity of the wayward/self entitled mind in all its glory.

Hugs to you and I had just been wondering how you are doing. Oh, on a side note, I kept to my word. I gave you one day.

I love you Hope.

See you on the field of Bejeweled.

Hey, Hope:
Just checking in since I NEVER hear from you anymore. lol. Love to hear that La La Land isn't all it's cracked up to be. But I keep being reminded of the Lighthouse and Safe Harbor. When all is said and done, my hope is that he knows where to dock his ship.

Just try not to be the source of all his agitation. PP DESERVES some of it since she's the root of all evil. Time for WxH to open his eyes and see when all the drama started. When his life took a turn in the wrong direction. When his money/work/family problems started.

Any chance one of us might win the bet soon? I think we need to up the ante... maybe something extra for Vegas???

Hope, so sorry about your SIL and your daughter. You guys have been through so much!

I'm not surprised to hear about WXH foolishness, he's a foolish man. Unfortunately your DD are stuck with him for life. Not much you can do there except try and protect them. IMO you've done an excellent job with that and kept your dignity.

On the legal front, not sure what you mean about an order re the house.

So good to hear from you!

Queenie, Holy, and John's Twin, great to hear from you ladies too!

Hey Hope, so glad to hear from you and to see you are still checking in.
Sorry that you have to continue to deal with crazy WW crap; but I really liked what you said.
You go girl!!!!!

TJ/ I love this smiley!! I'm so stealing it. /TJ

Nice to hear from some of the "old timers"...don't mean that sarcastically but hearing from John's Twin, Queenie and princess meg...way to go.

My Missy love the hug that could reach around the block!

One small update. Was walking over to my building and XH works across the street from me and PP is in her pig pen building next to his.

I look in parking lot and there is XH auto. I look to other side and lo and behold there is PP crossing my path. I was started and I think she felt the same. Caught me off guard. She pushes her fake plastic bits out and starts walking quickly. Without thinking I mutter "you will always be a piece of garbage", then look up and see XH next to the car in a panic seeing me (what happened to Mr. Charlie Sheen on paper). At this point PP is almost running, he is throwing his briefcase in the back and it looks like Bonnie and Clyde after they leave the bank. I wave and say "Hey XH", They pull away like bats out of h@ll.

I was upset to see both of them "carpooling" but I kept it together. I was upset that I re-active by calling PP garbage.

I know that I cannot keep totally quiet when I see her, any suggestions of what I can "offer" so I will be prepared. This is the 2nd time I have seen her since the New Year.

Guidance needed from my fellow MBers.

Memorize a scripture of encouragement and speak it to yourself. A good one would be Isaiah 54:17:

... no weapon formed against me will prevail, and I will refute every tongue that accuses me. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me, declares the LORD...

I am the MB flunkie, am prone to anxiety... but I find this helps me. Here goes.

When I see the situation coming,
I visualize my heart beating like a drum on the warpath, then I visualize me putting both hands over it on my chest and saying to it, "Be still". "I understand, I get it, I know.... But be still".

If this action does not help, I actually say the words outloud, like talking to another person.

A few words to God helps to, but it is the act (emotional or physical) of applying pressure above the "wound" that helps me.

I don't want to be caught blindsided by PP again and just react whatever falls out of my mouth. When I know I am going to see her at meeting I am prepared mentally but when I am unexpectedly run into her (I wish I could run over her) I need something stored in my brain ready so I just don't blurt something unoriginal as "you are nothing but garbage".

Would like to be prepared for the unplanned with some clever line ready. Does that make sense?

To "be still" or speak scripture might not pull me together. If any scripture I would go with this...

Proverbs 5:3-6

"For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey,
and her mouth is smoother than oil.
But in the end she is as bitter as poison,
as dangerous as a double-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death;
her steps lead straight to the grave.[a]
For she cares nothing about the path to life.
She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn�t realize it."

How true....

"What's that smell?"

>> sniffs the air <<

"Oh, I remember. It's the smell of an immoral woman."

>> waves hand in front of face <<

"But, in the end, she is bitter as poison."

>> sniffs again <<

"Her feet go down to death."

>> sniffs again, this time smiles after sniffing <<

"Proverbs 5:3-6. Just like an air-freshener."

I think the garbage comment was lovely though not original.

Ladylike, expressive, accurate.

Do you think that it is wise to say anything to her?

I think that wasting any energy on this is 100% waste of your time. .... but I am 'prolly wrong, I never had to deal with an OW face to face, either.

Pepperband you crack me up...so poetic

Reading yes on target but not original.

Barbiecat, Do I think it is wise...no -- when I know I am going to see her yes I do remain silent - yes and I use some of the body language that Schoolbus posted awhile back.

This is when I see her by chance (or curse) and want to "express my love" in such a special way to confuse (upset) her day.

I like the Proverbs 5: 3-6.
I am not sure if I were in that situation that I would be able to not say anything or run her over.

Ok MBers...how do I answer this email from Charlie Sheen...oops I meant delusional XH...

I plan on having everything outside when he arrives. I think the help he is alluding to is PP...then he will get a hassle.


I will be there on sat March 19 - At noon to pickup my belongings. I have some of my things in the attic and garage card comics. I will be bringing containers for my CDs and documents example my citizenship papers and any other document and books that belong to me. Is DD17 going to help me? ( DD has not seen him for almost 2 years and he wants her to help move his stuff out?) I will need help with my corner piece, if not I will bring help. = PP I will bring the $$$ with me and pay you when I pickup my belonging. I do not want any hassle from you when I am there.

I know what I want to write but need some help in responding to his luancy.

Response:

Fine. Everything that you were awarded in the divorce will be outside (location) for you to pick up. I will leave it there until 5:00 p.m., after which time I will make arrangements with the Salvation Army to come by to pick it up.

PP is not invited on MY property and I will do whatever is necessary to prevent trespassing.

DD will not be available to help as she has to paint her toenails that day.

Leave your check under the mat.