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Make sure you expose to her family and friends as well, ensure they know she is a predator and is actively working to destroy your family. Furthermore let them know why he wants an apartment. Your children must never meet the OW nor if she goes to the apartment must they visit him there. A formal legal separation document clearly stipulating this is a must.
Now that you have confirmed his antics get the IM in place pronto, plan B is to protect you, start as soon as.
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{{{{RRGA}}}}}
I am so sorry! Yes, email the show giving them all the info.
Hang in there!
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Have you exposed this OW? Her parents? FB friends?
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Yes, did a huge exposure in February. It drove them waaay underground. The whole community knows.
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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So I am calm again, what a night. So exposed again to approx. 20 friends and coworkersband our children. I included the sordid sex, prior it was just an EA. Sooo, since Dr. Harley said he was still having this affair, should I still do Plan A thru August like he suggested? I think I can handle it...
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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So I am calm again, what a night. So exposed again to approx. 20 friends and coworkersband our children. I included the sordid sex, prior it was just an EA. Sooo, since Dr. Harley said he was still having this affair, should I still do Plan A thru August like he suggested? I think I can handle it...
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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RRGA, I would still expose the PA to OW's parents/FBfriends. You only exposed the EA to them, right?
I honestly don't know if Dr H would recommend such a long Plan A had he known your H was having a PA. He thought it was EA and possibly that your H couldn't get over your EA/exposure but really it seems he has been gaslighting you. I would drop an email giving him the update.
Last edited by SusieQ; 04/29/11 10:30 AM.
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PA vs EA
Oh ignorance is bliss!
No. Knowledge is power.
I would not let my ego go wild with the horror of it being physical. Your life is no different in truth magically now that you know.
If you can regroup emotionally and continue plan A.....do so until you email the show with an update for further guidance and then calmly, cooly, womanly and firmly do what the Dr. suggests.
And "I love you" is a given in an affair. Love is a love bank balance that was built on focused attention on meeting someone's emotional needs.
You need to keep meeting the emotional needs you can during plan A until you calmly but surely go to plan B and stay there unless/until your WH realizes the affair sucks and it dies a natural death in the real world.
Dating is fun.
Real committed, constant relationships are not as easy.
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Please help me compose a text to OW, something along the lines of stay away from my husband and family or else. (I am too tired to think about the words) I I would like threatening but not so much there is legal action. Help 
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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Is your WH still in the house? Does OW have kids? Have you spoken to her H at all?
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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He is making plans to get out of house. Did a second exposure today, he is furious. OW is divorced. A good time to finally contact her, I called once in January. I need to be firm and threatening, the whole community is behind me.
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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Speaking from experience (I have confronted 3 OW IRL, one of them my sister's H's OW) letter, email or TM is basically ineffective. If you are going to do it, I would do it face to face and make sure you bring someone with you for support and to keep things under control.
Exposure is much more effective. I asked but you didn't answer...have you told her family? Have you FB exposed her? My sister's OW that I mentioned above ended all contact after being exposed on FB...
Last edited by SusieQ; 04/29/11 10:41 PM.
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Is OW's ex in the same town? He may be able to give you some ammo. And also, are you sure she really is divorced and not in the process of divorce...we hear that one often only to find out there is a surprised husband who didn't know he was divorced. If they are, he may be able to help you in some way.
What is making plans? You may want to discuss the finances with him...don't grill him but put practical questions to him so that hopefully he will have a light bulb moment that fantasyland and D aren't cheap and he is aware that he still has to support you and your children. You can even ask him what his thoughts are on child visitation. Most WSs don't like those pesky sorts of details.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Hi Susie, oh yes! Huuuuge exposure in Feb. All her family, friends, coworkers, mutual friends etc. Etc. Very far reaching, all her out of state relatives too! Exposed again today to 15 families and friends and our kids. I am in contact with her ex-husband, he is sick of her. Sooo, I have not confronted her since Feb. but I would like to send a warning text. Then face to face when the opportunity arises.
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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If you really want to do the warning text, OK, but I am telling you, it doesn't really do much. A call would be better... But we did not warn my sister's OW and it SHOCKED her when the three of us confronted her. She HATED it...which is a good thing IMO I would do it that way if possible!
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So my friends and I will confront. What words are the most powerful? I don't need a harassment charge! Can I say I will make her life a living hell etc?
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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I would not say that...because your idea of hell and hers may be totally different. Since OW is willing to carry on her A in public, I doubt your words are going to phase her. Just hang tight. You may need to confront her later but I don't think I'd do it just yet. I don't see it being very effective at this point.
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Hmmm, the affair has been on and off since Jan. Physical now. I just wonder if confronting her will help, she is just biding her time!
Me: 34yrs
OM #1 ONS July 2010
OM #2 internet/text EA (9/10-2/11)
He: WH 38 yrs
OW#1 Former friend, 7 month EA & PA 1/11-7/11
OW#2 Ex-GF, 1 month phone/ FB EA & ONS 7/11
Recovering MB Online!
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Posts: 397
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Make the OW's life unpleasant , chose your words and timing , be firm and in control. She will try bite back and may try threaten you, don't waver.
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BR has a good point because my sister's OW would not publicly admit the A and once she was exposed to her family and some friends on FB she cut off all communication. It sounds like your OW is even more brazen than that so I am wondering now if a confrontation would help you at this point....
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