Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 7 of 25 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 24 25
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
Originally Posted by ConstantProcess
Yeah but it is in the past now and you got it handled. Grats my friend. Some do not make it out of those places.

The past is what it is. This is where a person CHOOSES in life. They can let the past overwhelm them or they can let the past educate them.

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1




Now I grew up down an old dirt road in a town you wouldn�t know.

My Pops picked the place up for fifteen hundred bucks back in 1964.

My grandfather was a drinker back in the day he

put em down

but a war is known to change a man, and the whiskeys known to change a man

but that�s not me.

I rarely drink from the bottle

but I�ll smoke a little weed.

I still live in the sticks where you wouldn�t go in a town of 1200 off an old dirt road �and a country boy is all I�ll ever be.

Now it�s been 12 years since I�ve sold my soul to the devil in L.A.

He said sign your name here on the dotted line and your songs they all will play.

He set up shop on Sunset

he put me up at the Marquee

he said "you want to sell a million records boy, better listen to me".

He said "change your style

whiten your smile

you could lose a couple pounds

if you want to live this life you better lose that wife

do you need your friends around?" And I said

no that�s not me.

*cause* biggest things in life are my friends and family.

And I like my jeans and my old t shirts and a couple extra pounds never really hurt �cause a country boy is all I�ll ever be �cause Hank taught me just how to stay alive.

you�ll never catch me out the house without my 9 or .45.

I got a big orange tractor and a diesel truck

and my idea of heaven is chasing white tail bucks

and as a country boy you know I can survive

now two flags fly above my land that really sum up how I feel.

One is the colors that fly high and proud

the red the white the blue

the other ones got a rattle snake with a simple statement made

Don�t Tread on Me is what it says and I�ll take that to my grave because this is me

I'm proud to be American and strong in my beliefs.

And I�ve said it before but I�ll say it again cause I've never needed Government to hold my hand

And I�ve said it before but I�ll say it again cause my family�s always fought and died to save this land and a country boy is all I�ll ever be.

I love my country, I love my guns, I love my family, I love the way it is now, and anybody that tries to change it has to come through me, that should be all of our attitudes, cause this is America, and a country boys good enough for me, son.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
I listen to some Staind! They started in the same area I grew up in and I know a couple of people that know Aaron Lewis.

ps ~ that "Sweet Valley High" comment a few pages back cracked me up!


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
Originally Posted by SusieQ
I listen to some Staind! They started in the same area I grew up in and I know a couple of people that know Aaron Lewis.

Have you noticed how whiney that Aaron Lewis is on a lot of his songs?


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by kilted_thrower
Originally Posted by SusieQ
I listen to some Staind! They started in the same area I grew up in and I know a couple of people that know Aaron Lewis.

Have you noticed how whiney that Aaron Lewis is on a lot of his songs?

rotflmao



"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
Not really! But I have only DL'd a few of their songs like It's Been a While, Fade...

It's funny that you say that though because I listen to some emo (don't make fun) that my H hates & complains is too whiney smile


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
Originally Posted by SusieQ
Not really! But I have only DL'd a few of their songs like It's Been a While, Fade...

It's funny that you say that though because I listen to some emo (don't make fun) that my H hates & complains is too whiney smile

it's been awhile since I still remember something about the way she tastes or her hair or crying about something like that.

I'm sure teh song Fade is about his tears fading into the ground from crying about some other woman drama.

Now put on some Dropkick Murphys and let's throw back a few.

Last edited by kilted_thrower; 04/30/11 04:52 PM.

Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Originally Posted by kilted_thrower
Being humble and being a weak pacifist are completely different. For the first time in my life, I'm going to use a Bruce Lee quote. "Be like water, my friend." You have to be able to go with the flow and be unwaveringly strong at the same time...

Ah Master Lee, one of my heros in life. Im gonna get a book of his sometime. Saw a movie about him the other night, and he used that quote. Ah yes, water has been linked to emotion spiritually and practically. Its also the most common element, and the most powerful. Gotta respect that.

Found out he had the Idea for Kung-foo the show, and didn't even get the title role, also that he never lived to see "Enter the Dragon" soar him to superstardom. Heard years ago that it was a bad reaction to precription drugs that that took his life.

Thanks KT.

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Its so funny, I was listening to Stained back in 99, because someone gave their album. They did "Mudshovel" right?

Now for someone who used to worship The Eagles in thier heyday, it quite a stretch.

My Kids couldn't understand how deep I got onto Creed either.

Those were intense times for a 41 year old guy. Lotsa emotions..

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
I'm so worn out on the way the singer from Creed sounds.

Okay, boys. I have no idea if this is against the TOS but this link has nothing to do with any other marriage site and has everything to do with being a man.

www.t-nation.com (testosterone nation)


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,888
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,888
Originally Posted by kilted_thrower
Okay, boys. I have no idea if this is against the TOS but this link has nothing to do with any other marriage site and has everything to do with being a man.

www.t-nation.com (testosterone nation)
K-T, it seems you have some idea of what to you "manliness" is.

I prefer to live my life using the axiom

Quote
It's none of my d@mn business what other people think of me.
Creatine, whey powder, protein shakes, supersets, dead lifts... these things just aren't for me. In fact, they work contrary to the goals I have set for myself.

For example, right now I'm running 20 - 30 miles per week. 100 miles per month. As we get closer to the Fall, this mileage will increase, as too will my speed. In September I will run at least one, maybe two, half marathons. In October I will run a Ten-Miler followed by a full marathon three weeks later.

In the past month I have dropped three pounds. I hope to drop three more before the marathon. For me, each additional pound subtracts six seconds per mile to my run. Dropping six pounds means a net speed increase then, of 36 seconds per mile, or nearly 16 minutes over the 26.2 miles.

Perhaps to you, running marathons isn't "manly." I don't care. Manliness isn't what I carry around in my shorts, it's what I carry around between my ears.


Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 170
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 170
Love this one Fred!!!

"Manliness isn't what I carry around in my shorts, it's what I carry around between my ears."



Me - 46
Wife - 43
2 x DD
Married 18 yrs - known each other for 22 yrs
Woke up 12/2009 and realized I was an idiot for neglecting my WIFE!
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
If I had to pick sides, I would side with Fred on that debate. But I agree with both, allways wanting my physical strength to reflect my mental and spiritual.

Ok , are there any women around listening? Just us guys right?

I used to run Fred, before my leg got real bad, and I also used to practice martial arts, and I was pretty buff from all the hard work on construction and of course around the farmland rural place I was brought up.

I didn't enter competition, because it wasn't about that to me. It was about taking care of myself and/or people I loved, and being at peace with myself through confidance.

One of the greatest inspirations was martial arts, because it was a way to avoid damaging other people in fights, while protecting myself. Judo, translated, "The Gentle Way", is part of this philospy.

In short, I could kick butt if I had to, but did everything possible to avoid it, including swallowing my pride if it came down to it. That was then, and I have let that training go so long I am no longer able to believe I could handle myself if I had to now.

Edit to add: Even if I just had to fake it, and would confront a potentially violent person with a calm voice with the Threat of violence being only a subtle reminder in the background because of my appearance, I would seek peace, and use that projection and threat, only as a way to get them to think about what they were doing. I never promoted violence as a way to solve anything. Little did they know I was a Hippie at heart, lol.

But people respond to confidance, and a firm but gentle demeanor, and many times want to be calmed down by someone with the guts to confront them. Yes sometimes it got crazy, and testostrezone takes over, and restraining was in order. But a beat down ussually didn't solve the problem permenantly, unless it was dealing with animals that preferred to live like one. The option to think was allways given with an earnest look in the eye, and restraint takes control, over reaction. You have to have the confidance that what you are talking about is right, before you can instill that belief in someone else. Its not been about physical strenth, it never has, its been about emotional and spiritual strength.

End Edit

I used to run because I should, to keep myself in shape, and because the body in the temple of the spirit. The same goes with the martial arts. Now I might be moving to a place that is right next to the former state champians Judo Dojo, where a Pastor and founder who I have a good relationship with will help get me back in shape. I can also join the Y and swim instead of run for the cardio I need, and use thier nautilus machines to strengthen my weakened areas.

Because I am a diabetic, I must also rely on diet and maybe even supplements to assist in rebuilding my health.

The most valueable part of anything in life, is the balance in which we live it. To me its has allways been something I seek spiritually, as I do things physically, and how they compliment each other. I'm sure you will all agree.

I downloaded the book "The Tao of Bruce Lee", (well a couple pages till I get some more money lol). I am gonna pick his brain and see if there is anything in it that I like.

I also will be looking into supplements to help me get healthy, but like you Fred, the greatest health is between my ears, and like most martial artists, the most deadliest weapon known to man is the mind.

Funny, The Pastor I spoke of who started the Dojo says' "The Bible, the only book that kills people"

We do go to the Cross kicking and screaming huh Fred?

Last edited by ConstantProcess; 05/01/11 11:46 PM. Reason: confidance quotient
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 5,123
Likes: 1
I added Judo to my summer and fall semesters. After I'm done, I will transition to BJJ.

I've had a blast learning, and setting soem of the younger pups in line... while also having my butt handed to me by a 50 year old half my size.

Judo = fun.


"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr

"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer

"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
I added Judo to my summer and fall semesters. After I'm done, I will transition to BJJ.

I've had a blast learning, and setting soem of the younger pups in line... while also having my butt handed to me by a 50 year old half my size.

Judo = fun.

Lol, I allways would get mine handed to me by a wrestler half my size, and the sweetest Guy I ever met. Quite humiliating in the best way.

Whats BJJ?

It is a manly sport IMVHO

Last edited by ConstantProcess; 05/01/11 11:50 PM. Reason: BJJ?
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
Originally Posted by Fred_in_VA
K-T, it seems you have some idea of what to you "manliness" is.

Of course.

Quote
Creatine, whey powder, protein shakes, supersets, dead lifts... these things just aren't for me. In fact, they work contrary to the goals I have set for myself.

Maybe creatine might not suit someones goals. But the rest of it, I'm not sure how you can dis on a macronutrient (protein) and getting stronger and in better shape (super sets/deadlifts)

Quote
In the past month I have dropped three pounds. I hope to drop three more before the marathon. For me, each additional pound subtracts six seconds per mile to my run.


Actually if you were to exchange 3 pounds of fat for 3 pounds of muscle and use deadlifts to get sronger, you'd increase your pace and recover faster. Crossfit athletes (as an example) deadlift all the time and enter marathons quite often and typically do better than those that just train for marathons. I'm not sure why running marathons and weight training or minding your diet can't be inclusive of each other.

Quote
Perhaps to you, running marathons isn't "manly." I don't care. Manliness isn't what I carry around in my shorts, it's what I carry around between my ears.

I linked to a site that endorses getting stronger, looking better, being in better, shape, etc and you somehow think that I think running marathons is unmanly. I'll have to say that you had to really reach for this. But it's okay if you want to jump to conclusions and come up with a counter attack for an attack that I never made.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
Originally Posted by Powerbane
Love this one Fred!!!

"Manliness isn't what I carry around in my shorts, it's what I carry around between my ears."

Technically being a man has everything to do with the testes. So really manliness is what you carry in your shorts. I'm not sure how teh level of intelligence has anything to do with manliness unless it's something like I believe I am manly, so therefore I am.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,704
Guys, guys, guys...

Just because I'm an avid weight lifter does not mean in any way that I believe that manliness is a purely physical thing. I have a bachelors; I'm working on a masters...I do value intelligence and learning. I have two black belts and do yoga a couple times a week for the healing impact.

I throw heavy stuff because it's fun and like to shoot guns. I also have poetry published and am in the middle of writing a novel while also finishing up biochemistry research to work on writing/publishing a nutrition book. I value learning, intelligence, passion, creativity, and differing goals.

But what I did was link a site with men and women that are sure of themselves...the 'alphas' as some would say. And there are a number of guys on here that are saying they are unsure of themselves and their masculinity. So I linked a site that is filled with people that exhibit the traits that those that are unsure of themselves might take on.


Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Originally Posted by MrWondering
p.s. - As a man, I define my own masculinity.
hurray

Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
Hold, I posted this on another thread, but you might not be reading it, and I wanted you to see it:

Originally Posted by HoldHerHand
Originally Posted by CWMI
No.

Here's your signature line:

�We�re a generation of men raised by women. I�m wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.�

THAT'S what I'm talking about. That is blaming women for male behavior.

No, it's blaming a lack of male involvement, and you are choosing to take it that way.

The blame lies squarely on men.

Hold, this statement in your signature is extremely hard to comprehend without context. I can tell you that it bothers Prisca strongly and that I don't know what it means because I haven't read the article and I lack the context. It's probably bothering a lot of people who don't want to speak up.

I have no doubt that it means something I would probably agree with or sympathize with once I finally read the original article. But you might want to know that without context it might be throwing a lot of people off.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Page 7 of 25 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 24 25

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (1 invisible), 968 guests, and 44 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms, GrenHeil
71,838 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5