Can I kick in with NeverGuessed's BH Survival Kit?

1 - Put a keylogger on any computer she uses that you can access.
2 - Put Flexispy on her cell-phone.
3 - Put a VAR in her car, or any room she would use to take private calls.
4 - Get a mini-audio-recorder, and have it with you, and "on" at all times in her presence (see Note 1 below).
5 - Assemble an extensive and complete e-address list of all people with leverage on your WW - parents, siblings (sisters are very good), friends, clergy, co-workers, sorority sisters, everybody. This will be the distribution list for nuclear exposure.
6 - Make a list of all joint financial accounts. Anticipate moving half the funds from all of them into pre-established private accounts at exposure.
7 - Inventory all assets and the title to each - home, cars, etc.
8 - Research the divorce laws of your jurisdiction, and the relevance of proof of adultery thereon.
9 - Take care of yourself physically - eat right, drink water, exercise.
10 - Take solace that you're in contact with a lot of folks who have been through where you are now.


Note 1 - Beware the bogus "domestic violence" complaint. Never raise your voice to WW. Try to have reliable witnesses at hand during times of stressful interaction, OR leave the situation.

AZ you doing ok bud? I read you have some more solid stuff, thats good. Glad your back home. How did she take that?

OK update all.

I moved back in. Started planning for exposure. Found out a lot more about him (he is state department, stationed in Norway). I emailed and told to cease contact with WW. Called embassy switchboard and confirmed he was there.

This morning, it hit the fan. He called a friend of hers who called her. She is pissed beyond measure. Plans to move out today. Can't believe I confronted POSOM and risked his career.

So, I let her leave and we stay separated? Maybe she calms down and doesn't want a divorce? Right now, the big D seems like a 99.9% likelihood.

Stay in the house. Tell her that the kids stay in the house with you. Ignore the the 'D' talk. Work on your plan 'A'. You can plan A, even if she moves out.

ok, Down, all you did was tip your hand to the OM. You didn't do anything to hurt him. Expose this affair today to everyone and get your exposures done before they pre-empt you. Call up her parents, family, friends, tell them about the affair and ask them to use their influence to persuade her to end her affair. Expose to anyone else who is influential in your circle of family and friends.

Tell your kids. And most of all, don't allow your wife to leave with the kids or any furniture without a court order. GO TO WALMART THIS MORNING AND GET A VAR TO CARRY IN YOUR POCKET TO RECORD YOUR CONVERSATIONS WITH HER.

Pissed is ok. I hope you told her you didnt give a rats butt about POSOM career. If I was you I would continue to damage it all I could. He certainly didnt care about you when he was with a married woman.
Ok time to nuke the A since shes already pissed EXPOSE YOUR WW and OM AFFAIR TO EVERYONE and do it NOW.
Many threaten to leave. Ok good theres the door honey I love you and its your choice, but I chose to love you and hope we can move forward in our M!
If she leaves she leaves, much better to have a WW gone than to continue being wayward. But dont fret many exposed WS's say the same crap. Im leaving is one of those sayings. You just pulled the crack pipe out of her mouth as she was lighting it up.

Can you find the OM's family in the states? I would expose to them too. Do what you have to do to find his family. Look on facebook first.

Help me guys... I thought exposure was to end the A? Believe me, that is over. I have several friends that work for the government, and this guy was FREAKED. He ended it right away, or his federal career was in jeopardy.

Do I still expose, even though I am almost certain it is over? Most of her family know. Who next?

Do I try to coerce her to stay? She was adamant she didn't want to be around me at all.

She did agree not to seek divorce right away. But can it still be worked on if she is out of house?

My BIL worked there years ago. The Ambassador is Barry B. White. I would call him. I can assure you it will be taken seriously by him if you can get him on the phone. Character is of utmost importance in this field. Blow it UP!
Also Mrs Clinton is the SOS she may have a few issues with Affairs herself. LMAO at that. Contact her as well. This of course takes second seat to close friends and family.
Remember this is a WAR. Have you ever seen a nice WAR?

You've made a good strike by exposing OM at work, but you've got to complete exposure to everyone else asap. OM and your WW will jump on this and start spinning it to make you look like a jealous, nut-job husband who thinks everyone's having an A with his wife. You've got to get to everyone before they can do that.

Don't grovel if she wants to leave. Be the MAN of the house. If she must go, then she must. But the kids don't leave.

Pissed is good. I'd be more worried if she didn't care.

Let her charge out of the house in all of her fury. That will eventually blow out and she'll be faced with her options. Right now OM is looking like a pretty poor option. She'll more than likely contact you to start negotiations to return to the M. Be ready for that. Don't let her dictate to you what it will take for her to return. YOU tell HER what it will take.

What are your requirements for her to be able to return to the M?

Sensing fear here AZ. FEAR HAS NO PLACE in this ugly ordeal. This is the one time in your life you have to have a set the size of king kong. Mbliss said it well. Continue exposure with a vengeance and let her react like a spoiled brat. Anger takes allot of energy. Nobody can maintain it long term. When that energy runs out guess whats she's faced with? REALITY of the consequences of her actions and that her family is now in severe jeopard. Hard to jump a plane to Oslo just to eat some cake so all she will have left is Reality.Do not fear the exposure and second guess it. Its likely the only thing that will save your M.

You need to expose to your family and hers before she spins her foggy version of events. Ask them to support your marriage and to keep the family whole for your children's sake. They can pressure her to end her fantasy lifestyle.

Listen to maritalbliss and melody. They have been helping here for years.

Women respect a decisive, confidant man. So, you'll need to grow a hairy pair fast(sorry for the imagery ladies). You're in a battle; fight the fear and charge up the hill.

Just remember - this is not your doing. He knowingly had an affair with a married woman. In some lines of work there are consequences for immoral behavior. A lot of State Department guys have clearances, and you can lose your clearance for something like this - or at least spend a lot of quality time with the investigators, which is almost as bad.

You should report the events in writing to the Bureau of Diplomatic Security, as well as to the embassy he works at. If he is freaked now, he's not seen nothin' yet!

Complete your exposure. Stay ahead of the spin WW will try to put on it.

Stay in the house. Get a VAR or two and keep one with you at all times. Calling the police and making a bogus domestic violence (DV) claim is straight out of the WW playbook - the man is guilty until proven innocent, and maybe not even then. Having a VAR may save your bacon.

If she wants to leave, you can't stop her. But she doesn't take kids or furniture without a court order.

I'm pretty new at this so take this with a grain of salt, but I'm now a true believer in the exposure part. For me, it just opened my circle of support and I actually think the more people of influence you expose to it will even further protect you down the road should your sitch switch to recovery mode. More people to hold your WS and POSOM accountable to the real consequences of their actions.

Yes, you still need to expose. You'd be surprised at the lengths affairees go to to keep the A going ~ even jeapordizing their jobs (he can get a secret cell phone, open up a secret email account, etc.).

Your friends and family can put pressure on your WW to knock it off and to keep her family together. She needs to see the disgust in their eyes when they find out what she's been doing.

The first time I found out about my H's A, I exposed (pre finding MB) ~ but not enough ~ they just took it further underground. That is the danger of not exposing enough.

Of course the affair is not over. You have a very tiny window of opportunity to expose and kill this affair today and I fear you are squandering that opportunity. Don't tell me her family knows about the affair. They know the lies she has told. If you don't get up and get this exposed they are going to quickly regroup today and you lose your one chance

You will never have a more opportune time to kill this affair. You have caught them unawares today. Yu will not have that advantage tomorrow. Expose this affair to everyone TODAY. .

LOL the old saying goes that he11 has no fury as of a womans scorn. For me its he11s fury and a womans scorn never compares to the determination of a man that loves his family.
I would BLOW HIM UP.I have no empathy for a Man that knowingly beds another mans wife. I am vindictive by nature but factor in my wife and you just met the meanest SOB in the world. Ill crush anyone that tries to stand between what God has joined. I will do it as a Christian Soldier and within my legal rights. But I will crush.
Exposure is simply telling the truth. Be truthful and let the chips fall where they may.

DO NOT GIVE UP NOW. All you have done is send the OM an email. Just enough to piss them off but not enough to put a dent in the affair. Pissed off enough to come after you. If you are going to piss them off you need to kill the affair in the bargain. All you have done is used a pea shooter on the field of battle. You better get out your UZI before you get shot.

This is how you expose to family and friends:

"Dear ___________,

I am heartbroken to be telling you this but I need your help. WW and POSOM are having an A and have been since ______. I found out____ and am devastated.

I love my W and and am willing to forgive her and repair our M but I cannot do that until she ends her A. I am asking for your help in using your influence on her to encourage her to end her A, come home to our family and help repair what is broken.

Please keep us in your prayers.

DownInAZ".

You are not tattling or trying to humiliate her ~ you are sincerely asking for help.

And when you get responses to exposure, IGNORE the snotty ones and profusely thank those who are willing to support and help you.

When/if your WW goes ballistic respond with "I'm sorry you feel that way. I have been professionally counseled that this is what I must do in order to save my family. I don't like it anymore than you do but you've left me no choice."

Then walk away. Do not debate her.