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Take all the $50 because he'd sure do it to you.
Like someone else said, this was probably a one-trick pony here and you won't get this chance again. Next time, I'd bet his paycheck goes into a separate account that you have no access to.
As for the insurance check, just get your half of it now. It's your money, too, because you are married to him. Got that? Don't hesitate with this kind of thing, because he'll screw you over before you can blink. I suspect that's what has already happened and that is why his check is less than it usually is.....he has redirected part of his pay into a separate account.
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Joined: Aug 2006
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Take all the $50 because he'd sure do it to you.
Like someone else said, this was probably a one-trick pony here and you won't get this chance again. Next time, I'd bet his paycheck goes into a separate account that you have no access to.
As for the insurance check, just get your half of it now. It's your money, too, because you are married to him. Got that? Don't hesitate with this kind of thing, because he'll screw you over before you can blink. I suspect that's what has already happened and that is why his check is less than it usually is.....he has redirected part of his pay into a separate account. Agreed. Take all of the money. He does not get one dime to spend on his TrashHo.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. 
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I don't think he's directed any money anywhere, his check was only 50 dollars or so shorter than usual.... enough that maybe he worked a half day? Something like that? He is at an hourly job. If he were directing money I would think he'd do more than that.
Married 1/2000.
D-Day 3/7/11. WH moved in with OW and they married in 2013.
Single mom of 4.
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It doesn't matter, take all of the money. $50 isn't nearly enough to support you and 4 children for a week so he gets none.
That is the consequence of having an A and recklessly spending money on POSOW.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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Joined: Mar 2011
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Oh my goodness, I can't do it... there are two auto payments that are supposed to come out this week.... like the trash service.... I need them paid.... I have to leave at least some of the credit line.... this is so beyond control.
He is normally not like this. He has lost his mind.
Married 1/2000.
D-Day 3/7/11. WH moved in with OW and they married in 2013.
Single mom of 4.
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Posts: 691
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It doesn't matter, take all of the money. $50 isn't nearly enough to support you and 4 children for a week so he gets none.
That is the consequence of having an A and recklessly spending money on POSOW. Its so angering!!! He spent 50 dollars on a "date night" two nights ago, and then 25 yesterday on eating out with her. What an idiot!!
Married 1/2000.
D-Day 3/7/11. WH moved in with OW and they married in 2013.
Single mom of 4.
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
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It doesn't matter, take all of the money. $50 isn't nearly enough to support you and 4 children for a week so he gets none.
That is the consequence of having an A and recklessly spending money on POSOW. Its so angering!!! He spent 50 dollars on a "date night" two nights ago, and then 25 yesterday on eating out with her. What an idiot!! Send a message through the IM that he must stop spending money because there is not enough left to pay the bills.
Then do as we have said ~ go open up another account with JUST your name on it and begin transferring everything over so that you can pay the bills. Can you open up a credit line in JUST your name and close the one with his name on it?
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 691
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It doesn't matter, take all of the money. $50 isn't nearly enough to support you and 4 children for a week so he gets none.
That is the consequence of having an A and recklessly spending money on POSOW. Its so angering!!! He spent 50 dollars on a "date night" two nights ago, and then 25 yesterday on eating out with her. What an idiot!! Send a message through the IM that he must stop spending money because there is not enough left to pay the bills.
Then do as we have said ~ go open up another account with JUST your name on it and begin transferring everything over so that you can pay the bills. Can you open up a credit line in JUST your name and close the one with his name on it? I have already sent that msg through the intermediary, he IGNORES it and goes out and spends anyway.
Married 1/2000.
D-Day 3/7/11. WH moved in with OW and they married in 2013.
Single mom of 4.
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Posts: 691
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He seems to think he is entitled to spending on dates and that he is doing us some great favor by continuing his direct deposit. I am "applying" some of this to the situation since I haven't heard from him directly, but in Plan A he seemed to think he was being a stand up guy since he was allowing the direct deposit to continue, despite the fact that even then he was overspending and starting to drown us.
Married 1/2000.
D-Day 3/7/11. WH moved in with OW and they married in 2013.
Single mom of 4.
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Joined: Aug 2006
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It doesn't matter, take all of the money. $50 isn't nearly enough to support you and 4 children for a week so he gets none.
That is the consequence of having an A and recklessly spending money on POSOW. Its so angering!!! He spent 50 dollars on a "date night" two nights ago, and then 25 yesterday on eating out with her. What an idiot!! Send a message through the IM that he must stop spending money because there is not enough left to pay the bills.
Then do as we have said ~ go open up another account with JUST your name on it and begin transferring everything over so that you can pay the bills. Can you open up a credit line in JUST your name and close the one with his name on it? I have already sent that msg through the intermediary, he IGNORES it and goes out and spends anyway. Everytime he does it, send another message. Ask the IM to pass the numbers along, i.e. "There is $___ dollars in the account and on Monday $____ are going out to pay the garbage bill. DO NOT WITHDRAW ANY MONEY."
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
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He seems to think he is entitled to spending on dates and that he is doing us some great favor by continuing his direct deposit. I am "applying" some of this to the situation since I haven't heard from him directly, but in Plan A he seemed to think he was being a stand up guy since he was allowing the direct deposit to continue, despite the fact that even then he was overspending and starting to drown us. He's in full-blown lalaland. He isn't thinking. He is high on his A. Ignore what he "thinks". You are the only sane one right now so do what you need to to protect yourselves and your kiddos.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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How long will he be high??
I hope the lawyer calls soon....
Married 1/2000.
D-Day 3/7/11. WH moved in with OW and they married in 2013.
Single mom of 4.
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I am seething tonight. Especially after looking at the bank account. He gets paid tomorrow and after paying off the credit line there is likely to be about 100 dollars for the whole week. Unbelievable. Do not pay off the credit line....just adjust the credit line to what you owe and then pay minimum payment so he cannot keep withdrawing from it. You need all cash on hand.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Joined: Aug 2006
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How long will he be high?? As long as he's in contact with the crack pipe.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455
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I called and paid off the credit line and they are going to have a paper for me to sign to cancel it, I'll drag all the kids in to do that. You should have not paid all of it. Just adjusted the limit but since you did GO TODAY and sign to cancel. You cannot leave this open even though you have payments to be made. Take the cash you have in reserve and deposit the day of auto payments so it goes out or cancel the auto pay and write checks. He will continue to spend. You need to protect yourself. My XH put himself into full blown bankruptcy. They are truly out of their minds. It is time to put on your shielf of armor and protect your family.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 691
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Posts: 691 |
I tried to adjust the limit but they said I could not do it, I would have to go and apply for a new credit line. I weighed my options and decided closing it was preferable to him running up another huge debt by next week. I'd rather balance at zero than keep running negative.
The good news is that the food stamp people called and said she doesn't know an amount yet but I can pick up the card tomorrow.
Married 1/2000.
D-Day 3/7/11. WH moved in with OW and they married in 2013.
Single mom of 4.
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Posts: 2,455
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The good news is that the food stamp people called and said she doesn't know an amount yet but I can pick up the card tomorrow. whoa whoa...first step in protection of your children. I would not advise your WH that you have gotten food stamps because then he might think it will give him the liberty to spend even more.
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
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The good news is that the food stamp people called and said she doesn't know an amount yet but I can pick up the card tomorrow. whoa whoa...first step in protection of your children. I would not advise your WH that you have gotten food stamps because then he might think it will give him the liberty to spend even more. Absolutely. In PB he does not need to know what you are doing anyhow.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 691
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I never told him about that.... are you crazy..... sly as a fox over here. He doesn't even know I applied for that or anything else.
Wayturd sent message through intermediary that I should give the insurance check to his parents so he can get a different car.
FAT CHANCE.
Married 1/2000.
D-Day 3/7/11. WH moved in with OW and they married in 2013.
Single mom of 4.
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Posts: 4,653
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What are you doing with the insurance check? Are you waiting for an attorney to advise?
I'd cash it, take half and sock it away.
As for your garbage bill, pay it late if you have to choose between it and eating. Seriously. Just toss the trash bags in the backyard if you have to. It's not permanent, you won't always be living like this.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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