Thanks for the info Phoenix. I have went out tonight and bought all the stuff for 17 day diet. Our company started our own version of the biggest loser and I am running it. Need to make an attempt to be their leader. lol...

karma let me smack you ...a size 5. Send some of your motivation my way.

barbie cat. thanks for stopping by.

Been keeping busy getting ready for DD17 graduation next month. Whoa whoa. Went prom dress shopping this weekend and bought her a beautiful gown. She looked so pretty and grown up I had a little tear in my eye.

Figuring out the college stuff and waiting to see what type of aid DD will be able to get. Feeling a little anxious because my baby will be leaving home and I am having the empty nest depression. Not looking forward to it. I used to look forward to having this time but no more that I won't be sharing with XH. I am keeping busy most of the time just can't imagine being truly alone. Will work through it like everything else.

Been to bankruptcy court numerous times with all of my objections, questions and working on what is owed to me as a creditor in XH's continued mess.

The effort has paid off. XH petition went to a plan of paying creditors 22% to paying them 75% of what he owes. I also was approved for my 2 priority claims so I will be getting 100% of what is owed. It will take some time but it will help when the CS stops.

PP finally changed her name to Mrs. Affairage PP. Now there will be 3 of us a work with the same name. Plan on telling anyone who asks that I was the marriage and she is the affairage. Just take one day at a time.

Life goes on.

You're getting what's owed to you! Hurray!

The financial aid departments of college are usually eager to help students find scholarships. I know it's probably been said already but have her look into that all you can.

Little update...

Heard from bankruptcy court with the following....
Debtor (XH and PP) has now proposed a 100% plan and has met all of the Trustee�s requests. Per debtor�s attorney, all admissions have been disclosed.

Not only am I being paid 100% for my priority claims, all his other creditors are being paid 100% for theirs (I should get commission on this!)

The one problem for me creditwise is that he is turning in the lot that is under both of our names on the mortgage to go into foreclosure. He changed the deed but never changed the mortgage so this could have serious impact. I called the bank attorney and they are seeing what they can do for me.

So for about 5 years XH will have to cough up over $1k a month in repayment. I Wanted me to move on but involved me in all of this garbage by spending DD17's money and defaulting on the joint loan he was responsible for.

I fought the good fight and now this will help when CS ends soon.

The reality of karma is hitting.

Please call a real estate attorney and get them to help you on this, as they could sometimes negotiate with the mortgage company and if xwh was awarded the house in the divorce and your name was on the mortgage and he refused to attempt in any way to relieve you of that burden as by the courts, then they might be willing to wiggle and potentially get your name off of everything.

I had to go thru this with Darth. When they go crazy wayward, they spend like water for their affair and all good reason flies out the back door.

Good for you in getting the other debts from him taken care of! I sure hope the other and far lesser Mrs. Wayward Spouse affairagey woman FEELS the stress of what she's done now. And I hope she's like "holy jebus! What did I get myself into? I am now in financial ruin".

Stay strong girl. You can get thru this. I went thru horrid stuff. I had an xh who deliberately (when our divorce got nasty) refuse to pay for the hummer he had (almost 100k)b/c it was in his corporations' (he dissolved the corp and did it on purpose, it was just a name basically for him) name and my name was also on it b/c I had at the time stellar credit.

I refused his pittance of child support and alimony and the terms, so he quit paying despite the separation agreement said he was to take his hummer as his responsibility and his other vehicle, and I was to take my suv as my responsibility for my vehicle and the judge signed it. I had a call one day they'd repossessed it from my xh's house, and my former dream home. The man with the tow truck was outraged at what he was doing he called the company. He went and repo'd the hummer, but beside it was sitting TWO NEW vehicles. A mercedes sports car AND a bmw 7 series.

The man said "whoever is getting the hummer repo'd probably screwed their husband or wife's credit b/c there are two new vehicles beside it when I got it." At least it was a repo man with a conscience and glad he called. I was unable to get that removed, but my xh did go into foreclosure on our other home back in TN and my real estate attny's had to do the same thing I'm telling you about.

Here's something else. If the home goes into foreclosure and sells for anything MORE than what it's worth, or there is residual monies in any escrow accounts, if you have debts or back child support owed you, YOU CAN GET YOUR ATTNY TO SEIZE THAT. They file a motion along with other debtors, but here's the thing. Child support supercedes the other debtors! Just something for you to remember.

I had the wildest, most nasty divorce ever from a psycho wayturd.

I wish you a beautiful new future! I wish your dd a lovely prom evening, and you to find a fabulous new future. Maybe now go and try some new sports or activities? Join a club like the Sierra Club or some hiking club. Meet new people. It is time for YOU to blossom after all this has happened. Time for you to realize you are the only person single after all of this. Your xwh and the posow aren't. He never got to experience single. He got to jump from the frying pan back into the fire, with the wrong person and he'll regret it I tell you!

Their affairage days are numbered. Real life combined with the stressors of finacial problems combined with the shame of their affair will end this stupid affairage. Hey, my xh and his affairage wifey are now divorced. Five, no make that three, no make that two, no make that NEVER did they ever have any peace or happiness. From the time they married, he'd cheated on her. Even as she was pregnant and our divorce papers were barely dry he was cheating on her.

They never had peace. Lost financial balance and when my xwh's moral compass never quit spinning, he lost his home, his company (he was ceo), his wealth, his boat, his cars, and his children. Oh and the affairage wifey too.

It's a matter of time before the chickens come home to roost!

Hope! So glad you posted, you've been missed around here!

You do realize don't you that if you had not taken this bull by the horn, he would have walked away smelling like a rose in the bankruptcy? You have been amazing and so strong. I love that you didn't back down and fought tooth and nail for what he owed you financially.

Yup, bet he feels the ground shaking from the karma bus getting so close.

I'm not even gonna address whatshername-- she's not worth the keystrokes.

Please keep us posted. I want to hear when there's a college graduation, a marriage, grandbabies, etc.

Just a little vent....

Today I had an assessment in PP pig-pen area. I have never been to this area because she is in it.

Brought one of the big mgrs. for support and waited till I knew she was gone.

When I got to her desk was some pics of her family and then the affairage picture of the rutting pig and XH of course holding toast glasses (nice touch for an alcoholic). Very quietly I turned the picture flat on her desk.

She also had a scripture note on her monitor... Psalm 27:1

The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom then shall I fear?

I wanted to

My mgr said i would have broke the picture! I left it flat down.

When we were walking back my mgr added "you earned your paycheck today"...no kidding

Life goes on.

You exercised a lot of restraint.

Like I have in the past....NOT

Agree with Pep. I dunno that I could have done what you did. You are Truly amazing.

I have to say that I am in a good place and have detached from their continued drama.

Before when I saw either of them it could be a trigger and major spiral down but now it is more of an annoying mosquito that I just swat away.

I feel as if I wear my "shield of armor" and it protects me.

I am in a good place and have happiness in myself and serenity.

They are the uncomfortable ones not me.

Hi Hope,

So glad to see you post! It looks like you are in a really good place right now, congratulations!

If you ever have the time and feel up to it, would love to hear more of the court saga and how all of your great documentation efforts paid off!

Sound like the $1k/mo. is going to go a long way in help your DD with school.

Congrats again!

ba

Anything you want to know about this let me know. Send me your email and then I will delete.

Yes it will come at the perfect time with CS ending. I am blessed

Update... Got an email from the guy who sits next to PP. She came into work and sees the picture flat down on her desk and calls XH and says "Oh she must be really jealous".

Just an example to show how deluded the AP are. Ok so you have an affairage picture of your manager who you had an affair with, broke up a marriage and family and I am jealous???

These AP really are low lifes and don't get it. PP needs to look up the word "narcissitic" if she knew how to use a dictionary.

Aren't you jealous? Isn't that a part of turning it down?

Yes, they are narcissitic but you must still feel the pain. Or you'd not have touched the photo. You would have seen it and not been inspired to lay it down.

I say, there isn't anything wrong with that. Feeling the love that is still there for WH and pain of another woman being married to your WH are human emotions.

It sucks the picture was there.

Next time:
>evil grin<

A permanent marker glasses and mustache.

I had already seen pictures of the affairage floating around on the internet so it did not have that draw in your breath, slap in your face shock value....it was more of "you got to be kidding" type of emotion.

I thought about the permanent marker or substitute one of our wedding pictures when he looked so handsome and happy instead of hung over...

Now for some great news...

Award ceremony at DD17's school last night....she got a $2K scholarship last night. Very exciting.

I was hooting and hollering. So proud that she has come so far.

Hopefully more to follow! I am blessed in so many ways.

Congratuations to your DD. She is one amazing young lady.

Must be a reflection of her mom.

AM

ok, posting here because I am having some anxiety.

Past few weeks I have been seeing a slight shift in DD17 about XH with graduation next week. Both DDs have been talking more and DD31 planned on "making some time" for XH next week when she comes to visit.

DD17 tells me that she might ask XH to attend her graduation. She talked it over with DD31 who has "mentioned" it to XH a few times. She told XH it would have to be without PP and XH says "that is his wife". DD31 said then stay home. He then says that PP feels bad for him because it must be hard that he has no relationship with his DDs.

This is the same POSOW that has said that she wanted a man with no baggage and her last M broke up because of his spoiled StepD and how her XH spent too much money on his daughter instead of her.

Then Xh asked DD31 did he know where DD17 is going to college. She told him that she might have to commute and he said that he could pay her room and board maybe.

I told DD17 don't get her hopes up because it was not his decision to make and PP would have to approve and financially I do not think that would fly.

I did tell her that I would support her decision but understand that XH was very different and he had a serious drinking problem now.

It hss been just over 2 years since DDs have seen him.

This board is my safe place. I put a good front tonight but I am actually freaking out a bit. Feeling a little resentful and hurt that these last 2 years he missed all the work, pain and dedication to get DD17 to this place and he gets to waltz back in her life right in time for graduation which I was so looking forward to...without him.

I continue to pray on this.

100% Understandable.

Has any new came to pass? Whatever the descisions are, have your DD make up her mind now-- (so secretly you can plan your reaction to the event.)

It seems XH likes the drama. That is his issue, but I would onot let it be a 24/7 arguments up until the day of event.

Are there only so many tickets? "Oooops, sorry XH, we only were given 5 seats, and the bum outside needed one, so only YOU can attend ceremony, no PP"