Do the WSs ever de-fog? I know some do, but for the ones who do not, how can they continue having a regular life with that state of mind!!!
I wonder how self centered and entitled you have to keep being not to feel the devastation you caused!!!
My WH has a totally different life now, into sports, looking thing and tanned and not a worry in his head. He is apperently going to spend the summer at the beach morning to evening and seeing OW when he feels like it.
So, not a bad life for someone so foggy.
I guess they get into a mental stage of total detachement from other people's life that nothing effects them.
Yes I suppose that is true, they detatch and feel they are free, until they are called on again to think of someone other than themselves, without getting an obviuos benifet right up front. You know, the ones when they have to give and not be appreciated right away, or God forbid, maybe never by the recieving party?
Yeah sometimes we have to trust God, or ourselves, that we did someting because it was right, even if we don't get appreciated.
Since this a dumb thing Waywards say thread. I thought I would include one from my foggy meesed up wife. She was now really in bad shape at the time, fallen heavily into addiction, and was living off/with her new best buddy Alchy/coke head. She called me on the phone looking for money, and had apparently had a fight with him, because she was complaining. I said to her.
ME- Im sorry but untill you come back and get into treatment and away from him and the drugs, I can't help you.
Her- All you have to do is get a house and a place for me to stay. Thats all you ever had to do.
I had a place she could come to, and untill she took off I had allways provided a place for us and the family. It was just more fogbabble attempting to make me guilty for letting her down so she could get money out of me. Heck she was using me more and more during the years so I guess she thought why not? Try again.
Then there was this time when she had him drop her off where I was working, and she was telling me about the argument they had, she said to him, "My husband has more integrity in his little finger than you have in your whole body!" I guess that was supposed to make me feel better. lol
Ok one more story. One day when I was driving her somewhere I got fed up with it, and because I was driving her by our church I decided to pull in and take her to her Pastor, (I will remind you that she would not go to AA claiming all she ever needed was her Pastor and God to stay clean when we recovered, yeah I should have stayed gone unless she went I know)
She was refusing to go in, and caught me with a backhand, that gave me a bloody nose outside the church, lol. Well I rang the bell anyways, and a friend of hers for years came out and talked with us. Someone she respected as taking no guff as a pastors wife, (Her family was military).
ME- "Hi XXX she is going to buy heroin and she needs to see Pastor, she needs help"
WW- "I am going to get a divorce and marry someone else"
Woman- "Well CP, what can you do if she is not ready? You can't force her right?"
That was it, A couple of days later I caught up with the pastors wife and she said to me,"Well we know what shes about now dont we?"
I have thanked her for being so frank a couple times in years past, it seems WW was one of pastors favorites and they had run out of grace with her. I just wish someone would have had the guts to warn me about how she was using grace as a lisence to Sin. I was living with the misunderstanding I did not know grace enough, or God enough for that matter. It seems she had this deal going on, she would be the wayward soul who screwed up and yet came back like the prodigal and testify and quote scripture. God save us from our would be saviors, it was a good act though, got me for a while, but it doesn't work in the long run. You can't destroy your meal ticket and have a healthy husband with self-respect, and all the BS will not stop God and reality from setting it straight.
YOU have the power
to have a good day,
all day, every day,
YOU give it to someone else.
Thanks for this one Atena