Hang in there girl...You will make it!

(((mehr))) (((kids)))

And this is the effect of D on children. No matter how you think of the "fun" they are having, your kids are bright and know that it is the Mommy (you) who belongs in the picture. My heart was breaking reading that.

At the beginning of our seperation my D17 would ask her father to go to church and he did a few times then refused (I wonder why). There was a sermon about adultery and being a father to your children and my DD says "this is Daddy and he is not here listening".

No the kids are not "fine" and the impact on them is profound.

Blessings

Stay strong.

HOW are you pursuing hurting the affair? Please please also file charges against ow on alienation of affection. YOU must put pressure on the affair!

And please please make your attny follow up on ow background. something is fishy if for over a few months your kids went to see daddy at mystery woman posow's house. Something aint' right AND you let her bathe your kids. That should NEVER BE TOLERATED.

Has your attny ever heard of something called a molester? They can be the same sex. It is UNHEARD of having a stranger bathe children and that would be clearly wrong in many courts of law even after divorce, without the custodial parent being in the room.

No words of advice other than to say hang in there.

No the kids are hurting badly, and I feel powerless to protect them because there appears to be no legal channels to stop them from being exposed to the affair. All I can do is pray. I was just rocking my little girl and singing to her and she decided to talk about daddy and OW. She said that she doesn't want him to marry OW. She said she heard daddy tell OW something about getting married.

I hope I can drag out this divorce long enough for him to have time to think. He still hasn't KNOWN her for a year.... let alone "dated/cheated" with her...

I wonder how long I can drag it out.

The lawyer said that its undoubtedly upsetting to me but that there is nothing I can do about the bathing right now and that it will make me look bad to make a big deal over "small things."

I have no money to file an alienation of affection suit right now. I am trying to figure out how I am going to pay the mortgage twice before even having a court date.

She didn't have a house, she had an apartment. My husband is either paying for the house, or went 1/2 with her to get it. It is a rental.

My daughter also said that daddy was talking about getting a bigger house with OW.

I know, Plan B...

But this guy is crazy. How, on half of his income, does he expect to qualify for another house? Even with their income together, I'm not seeing it...

I can see that my plan to try to keep the house until I can get through school is going to be fought. But if I don't stay here, I literally have no where to go. I was looking at 2 bedroom apartments and they are more money per month than the house payment to stay here.

I can't help but think this... it appears that he is really having a good time with her to be talking marriage and in front of the kids.... I wish their relationship would get rocky or something.

Mehr,

Just keep delaying the process in the courts, let the affair fall apart on it's own, real life, kids have a way of breaking down the romantic fantasy.
In the meantime try not to give him a lot of thought....Plan B is a good place for you to heal and figure out what your life will be.........
Just concentrate on school and those babies of yours......
hugs
jessi

You're right. It IS getting easier, slowly.... but it is. Less of my brain % is spent thinking about it.

Mehr,

filing the lawsuit for alienation of affection should be something your attny would LOVE to do b/c of the guaranteed win and recovery of legal bills and $.

You could even offer your attny up front a certain percentage of your monetary win, because YOUR CASE IS 100%. When you don't have lots of pocket money, an attny can in many cases be persuaded to represent you if they see a sizeable amount of $ to recover. Esp since this skankho is wanting to even buy a LARGER home. She's got $ somewhere. GO AFTER IT. For your babies and to destroy the affair (and her reputation a little more too).

And you do not know a thing about this woman. Who is she Mehr? WHAT DOES SHE DO for a living? Does she work? Does she have a criminal record? I find it literally hard to believe that an attorney who works with family law, esp in a fault state and a state with on its' books the alienation of affection laws, would NOT BE OUTRAGED that this unknown mystery ho, is seeing your kids naked and touching them.

Are you going to continue to say why you can't do this? Or are you going to TELL your attorney they represent YOU and that YOU want to protect your kids from this unknown enemy of your children and family and marriage?

Yup, the lawyer is YOUR employee. Just like politicians, sometimes they forget that.

Listen, I don't know where you guys heard its easy to win an alienation of affection or that there is money of it, that is not what I was told. I literally was trying to figure out how to pay my house payment this month and thinking who I should ask for a loan. I am not going to file an alienation of affection suit if my lawyer doesn't recommend it.

Its up to prayer now.

By the way it looks like I will get to talk to the Harley's themselves for advice.... hopefully that helps!

Love them - let me know when you are on so I can listen!

I am tempted to write the other woman on facebook.... tell me why I shouldn't.... sigh.... I feel like I want to do something.... you know?

You shouldn't because you are BETTER than that.

You shouldn't because it would do YOU NO GOOD.

You shouldn't because you are in PLAN B.

Do you look at OW's FB page? DO you look at WH's FB page? Do you snoop on them at all? When was the last time you heard something about either of them?

My husband does not use facebook. Her wall is private. What I hear about them comes through the kids.

Have you read my thread? If you have, have you seen the part about the "Daddy's in a pickle jar?" I think it might be time for you to have one of your own.

What hobbies have you decided to take up again? What do you do for MOMMY time? You need to do something. I know it is hard. You need to do something.

What are drop offs like when your WH has the kids? How does that work out?

Mehr,

Not all attorneys are created equal. Some barely got by in law school and some excelled. The same is true when they start a law practice..... some barely get by and some excell.

I recommend that if you live in a fault state that you ask your attorney to pursue a AOA suit. He may look at you funny or may jump on it, but the reaction you get bac from hime will tell you a great deal about his intentions in this case. If he is an attorney that is just interested in mediating through the divorce process, he will look at you funny when you suggest an AOA suit. If he is looking out for your interests and is an attorney that loves to win, he will jump on it with enthusiasm.

Again, not all attorneys are created equal!

If your hope is still to delay the divorce and help facilitate an end to the affair, then you need to be willing to take extraordinary steps legally and apply pressure to the affair by any means possible, otherwise you will see a mediated end to your marriage. This may even require a need to file a bankruptcy prior to the divorce becoming final as another delay tactic.

You must be willing to employ "The Art Of War" as a mindset along with prayer. You are afterall in a battle for your family and it is a battle for their hearts and souls too.

You must take the lead, even with attorney's.... They sometimes forget a family is at stake here and are willing to just mediate it all away.

I wish you well!