Oh wow......that has really set me thinking, I shall go back to an old journal and look at all the stuff he told me on the first Dday!!

Laters!!

Hoping no one misses this jewel by SB.

What a great thread Pep! Amazing.

In translating the words of the fogg-ed, it is important to pretend or think you are a major celebrity or self-absorbed superstar to try to understand the mindset of the wayward or you might not be able to successfully translate.

But if you wish to not tax yourself or your brain that much by warping it to try to understand a wayward, here are 3 simple tips to remember when the wayward is around.

1)Say the word "YOU" alot, and refer to THEM as much in the convo. You see, to them, THEY are the center of the universe. When you speak in sentences beginning in "you", they will listen! why? You're talking about them, thinking about them and they like anything about themselves b/c they're in the most selfish and narcissitic life situations ever.
2)Try to put the word "happy" somewhere near the word "you" when talking to them. Somehow they think they're getting their way when these two words are placed in close proximity with one another. Example: You want to be happy ww? I so understand YOU. YOU deserve to be totally happy and we can make that happen for YOU with a loving marriage. (that might get them to listen for a sec).
3)Do not ever mention yourself when speaking with a ws or they will shut down and walk off or do something stupid or say something stupid. They aren't interested in you. Just them. Like the other guy who posted about his wifes' house slippers which read "it's all about me", it sure is!!!

Whenever I had to (before divorce and plan B) speak to Darth and even years after the divorce (when I was simply in plan FU, and before I got sole custody), if I had to speak to him to make him do something my way (this is a good trick), I would do those things. Say in the sentence things about him, how my suggestion (or request) was really good for him or better, and then toss in the word "happy" or "you'll like it" or something positive like that near the word "you". It worked like a charm! He'd always get that child support then in, or he would chang off a weekend custody time if I had to go out of town.

Very insightful. I'll have to remember these tips. They won't really help me much right now, though.

My WW would say "I meant it at the time that I said it but later I changed my mind"

This would mean 5 years later, or 5 minutes later

"I just was lonely"

That was the one I got. Poor baby, a wife, nice house, good friends,yeah I know but it wasn't enough,

I thought shaggin your best friend would make me feel so much better.........and it would be good for our relationship.....I mean look how much stronger you are, look at all the things you have done.......see it was good for our marriage.

Now can you just get over it please, I know it was 6 years, 5 years of hell for you,

i KNOW COS YOU TOLD ME, i COULDN'T SEE IT FOR MYSELF COS.........

IT WAS ALL ABOUT ME!!!!!

lets just move on, I chose to stay, be grateful, make it better for me cos I feel bad, I hurt her, I damaged me and I feel bad enough without having to deal with your feelings too.

ITS ALL ABOUT ME

Poor wayturd speak.

I gotta read this later, its just that pep posted it, and she doesn't allways agree with me, so if i admit she is better than me.....

seriuosly it looks like its gonna be hill-larry-us.

This post (the part in black) was directly quoted from a drive-by WH. I did not change a word to make him appear worse than he was.

His BW had finally "had it" and it was not until she filed for a D that he MAYBE decided that MAYBE he might MAYBE want to work on the M if his BW would guarantee she would take him back..... before he was finished with OW.

His utter cluelessness and selfishness sent me over the edge.
Instead of doing my "translation" (red) on his thread, I created this one.

He was superior in his unobservant selfishness.

Please, enjoy this in the spirit in which I wrote it.

The actively wayward mind, fully exposed, is egomaniacal bordering pathologic.

Sometimes it is temporary insanity. Sometimes it is not.

Thanks for this Pepper. It helps me decode what my WW told me last night after stopping by for a while.

WW - "It felt so good being in your arms. It felt like I was home again" (This is right before she heads back to OM)

Translation - I want to tell you everything you need to hear to keep you hanging on and waiting for me while I continue to eat cake! I love my cake! Please not take my cake away from me!

Yeah.



Plan A is all about them & their cake.
Is it almost time to remove yourself from this triangle?
Are you considering Plan B?

Edit:
I just looked at your thread.
I understand where you're current position is. Hang tough.

Thanks. When you look at it that way, it's so pathetic it actually makes you laugh. (And I really needed to stop crying for a minute). If the whole thing, as a BS, wasn't so devastating and awful - it WOULD be laughable. They are ridiculous, these people in the middle of affairs, acting like narcissistic 13-year-olds.

I take that back. My 13-year-old would never behave in such a callous, selfish, damaging way, with no consideration for fellow human beings.

They just don't even think, do they? So sad.

Your right about that Pep.

Thanks again for this thread, if it wasn't so sad it would be a good skit for Inspector Clouseau.

THIS!!!

i know my wife better than anybody else. i kow she is really and genuinely a good person. she always been selfless, and willing to help anybody any time. thats one of the main reasons i fell in love with her...she has a good heart.

but since the OM sunk his claws into her... totally different person. and its all that to a T. esp. the part about friends. if youagree with her lifestyle choice, shell listen to you , but if not shell just nod her head to placate you. pretend like shes listening, and tell you what you want to hear. and sometimes its close to the truth, and sometimes you can see her start to come out of it...

then shes right back in...

I likened the way my xwh acted to "Linda Blair--exorcist". I swear, sometimes I wished I could have had a priest and some holy water and the priest to say to him, "Darth, let me talk to peachy's husband M...Can we talk to M now?"

Of course, the response would've been "There is NO more M. Only Darth." And then alot of head spinning and pea soup in my face.

No wait..was that the scene from exorcist or was it when Bill Murray was trying to get an evil entity out of his girlfriend in Ghost Busters???

Uh oh...answered my own question.

Talking to a wayward is like this:



My sincere apologies to anybody with his girlfriends' name.

Anybody have a wayward discussion moment like this?

CAKE CAKE CAKE .... hehe

I ussually know that all the wayward stuff, the stupidity, the selfishness, brings such pain, that humor is hard to acknowledge.

But this one was funny, I couldn't help it, visualizing you wiping pea soup off your face peachy.

It would not be funny if you hadn't had victory in the long run.

ME: "Why am I paying for you to go to a therapist? Is she telling you it's okay to act like this?"

WW: No she's not telling me it's okay... But I don't listen to her!

Love that! And yet another reason to fire therapists!!! MB is the only way to combat the alien within!!!