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Who did you expose to? Could you list it out? Most importantly, did you speak to OMW yourself?
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Our 23 year old daughter has agreed to act as intermediary. This isn't a good idea, Bill. The IM needs to be neutral and I would imagine that will be difficult for your DD, not to mention an uncomfortable spot to put her in. How about another relative or friend? It could even be a coworker.... BTW, this will be for your IM: Intermediary Training Guide
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What's a Plan B letter?.......what good would it do?
I really think that I've done all I can.....so PLEASE guide me on my next move. Read up on Plan B pronto. Here is a good start up guide: How To Plan B Correctly There are several Plan B letters in this thread: Here I know I need to go deep, dark and quiet towards the wife....does that include her Parents also who have been very loving and kind to me? If they will respect your wishes and NOT pass information regarding your WW to you, then you can stay in contact with them....
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What about the OM's wife? And who told her parents? YOU?
Bill, unless you have told the OMW and personally spoke to her parents, this is woefully incomplete.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I repeatedly called the OM's home but get no answer, I repeatedly left graphic detailed messages with my phone # and email, no reply.
I sent multiple letters to the OM's wife and children and office staff.
I spoke personally with my WW's parents.
The WW admitted to the affair in front of her parents while I was in the room.
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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I repeatedly called the OM's home but get no answer, I repeatedly left graphic detailed messages with my phone # and email, no reply. I would drive over there and knock on the door. It is very likely the OM is blocking all of your communications. Don't give up until you have spoken to her personally and told her all about the affair. This is the MOST CRITICAL EXPOSURE.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Do any of his family members have facebook pages?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am in the same situation as Bill, but I have other advice for you bud. I exposed my wife's affair and then I did very similar things to what you have done with the OM's family. I then went to their home to inform his BW of the affair. She had received my messages and had not returned my call...she was trying to put her marriage back together. So, when I showed up at their home, I was arrested for trespassing. Because I had sent letters they have evidence of what is considered a threat, so I was charged with communicating a threat.
I will warn you that these events have consequences. I was an avid shooter and have now lost my CCW and my guns have been confiscated by the police. My WW took out a restraining order against me as did the OM and his family. Not only did I push my WW farther away, I am now facing a permanent criminal record.
Last edited by bikerbuddy56; 07/16/11 02:13 PM.
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I am in the same situation as Bill, but I have other advice for you bud. I exposed my wife's affair and then I did very similar things to what you have done with the OM's family. I then went to their home to inform his BW of the affair. She had received my messages and had not returned my call...she was trying to put her marriage back together. So, when I showed up at their home, I was arrested for trespassing. Because I had sent letters they have evidence of what is considered a threat, so I was charged with communicating a threat.
I will warn you that these events have consequences. I was an avid shooter and have now lost my CCW and my guns have been confiscated by the police. My WW took out a restraining order against me as did the OM and his family. Not only did I push my WW farther away, I am now facing a permanent criminal record. BB, how is it against the law to knock on someones door and inform them of an affair? I am sorry this happened to you, but that is not against the law. There had to have been much more to your situation for the police to confiscate your guns. He has not made any threats here. He has been respectful. We have numerous members who have even confronted the OP face to face and were not arrested. It is not illegal to have a respectful conversation with someone. And this did not push your WW away. The affair did that. Exposing the affair is more likely to result in a killed affair, which is the most likely to lead to a reconciliation.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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BB, how is it against the law to knock on someones door and inform them of an affair? I am sorry this happened to you, but that is not against the law. He has not made any threats here.
And this not push your WW away. The affair did that. Exposing the affair is more likely to result in a killed affair, which is the most likely to lead to a reconciliation. This is trespassing because I was at their home and they did not want me there. Exposing the affair is one thing, I think my wife would have reconciled, but I went too far.
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My guns were confiscated because my WW took out a restraining order against me because she felt in danger. The fact that I told him to stay away from my wife or else, constituted a threat. I am just trying to give Bill another perspective here. These tactics work for many, many people, but not for everyone.
I read your site and I'm applying many of your suggestions, but I wish I had not stepped over the line.
Last edited by bikerbuddy56; 07/16/11 02:24 PM.
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This is trespassing because I was at their home and they did not want me there. Exposing the affair is one thing, I think my wife would have reconciled, but I went too far. He has not been told to leave and for all he knows, the wife knows nothing about the affair and would want to be notified. If he is told to leave, he should leave, of course. If your wife wanted to reconcile, she would reconcile. She might be using this as an excuse to not reconcile, which makes sense. But if she wanted to, this would not stop her. To your point, he very much should take a pocket recorder and keep it turned on when he is there. But we have done this hundreds of times and no one has been arrested, bikerboy. It is not against the law to come to someones house and knock on the door. If it were, I would have all these door to door solictors arrested who come to my door.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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My guns were confiscated because my WW took out a restraining order against me because she felt in danger. The fact that I told him to stay away from my wife or else, constituted a threat. I am just trying to give Bill another perspective here. These tactics work for many, many people, but not for everyone.
I read your site and I'm applying many of your suggestions, but I wish I had not stepped over the line. Probably a great lesson to others to NOT make threats and to carry a pocket recorder in all transactions. We have had another WW file a RO against her H because she "felt scared." Any crazy WW can pull that stunt. It was quickly tossed out of court when it got before a judge, though. That WW was told by that judge to leave her house and leave the 2 year old child with the H. The judge was very miffed that she filed a frivolous RO against this man.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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p.s. bikerboy, do you want to start your own thread so you can get some support here? Welcome to Marriage Builders! It sounds like you have been put through the mill. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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BB56,
Glad to meet you. You and I share the brand-marks of the estrogen-dominated "justice" system (Check out my thread on "In Recovery".) I was also subsequently subjected to the kind ministrations of a reportedly (male-hating?)lesbian female ADA, who made my life a living hell. AFTER the OOP was lifted, said court officer "forgot" to file the paperwork, so weeks later, when my reconciling FWW and I returned from a Carribbean vacation - SURPRISE! - the Homeland Security goons detained me for re-entering the country in the presence of someone I was (erroneously) not permitted to be within 500 feet of!
Eventually, when the revolution comes, I'll know why, and I know which side I'll be on.
Anyway, sorry about your fecal-like situation. Hang in there, pardner!
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I am in the same situation as Bill, but I have other advice for you bud. I exposed my wife's affair and then I did very similar things to what you have done with the OM's family. I then went to their home to inform his BW of the affair. She had received my messages and had not returned my call...she was trying to put her marriage back together. So, when I showed up at their home, I was arrested for trespassing. Because I had sent letters they have evidence of what is considered a threat, so I was charged with communicating a threat.
I will warn you that these events have consequences. I was an avid shooter and have now lost my CCW and my guns have been confiscated by the police. My WW took out a restraining order against me as did the OM and his family. Not only did I push my WW farther away, I am now facing a permanent criminal record. I'm sorry to hear that this travesty happened to you, biker. That typically doesn't happen when one person (WS) visits another (OWS). I would suggest you consult an attorney. I also suspect your weapons were NOT taken from you just because you went to their house. As a matter of fact, I think there is more to your story than you have chosen to share.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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bikerbuddy56, please check your email.
mbseasons@aol.com
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I'm sorry to hear that this travesty happened to you, biker. That typically doesn't happen when one person (WS) visits another (OWS).
I would suggest you consult an attorney. I also suspect your weapons were NOT taken from you just because you went to their house. As a matter of fact, I think there is more to your story than you have chosen to share. I have an attorney. Perhaps I'll start another thread about what is happening with my WW and our situation. I just thought Bill may appreciate knowing what happened and is happening to me.
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mbseasons@aol.com
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