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There is no justice in the "Justice" system.
When it comes to North Carolina I have seen this up close and personal as my wife and I fought her EH about custody issues for their daughter.
The Courts are run via politics and $$$$$
Actual law/legal statutes are employed only if all else fails.
I saw judges repeatedly violate state law and accepted court procedures to stick it to us because the EH's family was politically connected.
Sad.....but too true!
And I don't trust it anymore!
So.....based on my court experiences, I cannot go to the OM's house.
And it also my experience that Law Enforcement simply complies with whatever the courts want......regardless of written law.
I have seen and experienced the absolute WORST of the courts and Law Enforcement.
NO....I don't trust them!
Last edited by BillCarolina; 07/18/11 04:10 AM.
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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So.....based on my court experiences, I cannot go to the OM's house.
! How can you MAKE SURE the OMW gets the message? That is your goal. You HAVE to get to her, Bill.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Legal system sucks? Use the system.......
Hire a process-server. Pay him the $35 - $50 to PUT IN HER HANDS your letter detailing the affair.
These guys KNOW what is permitted and what is not.
(See I'm getting better! My first notion was to hire one of those built-for-advertsing mini-trucks and park it in front of their house with a sign saying : HAPPILY MARRIED? HAH!)
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Hire a process-server. Pay him the $35 - $50 to PUT IN HER HANDS your letter detailing the affair. Great idea!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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OK.....as of last week the WW is 101% MAD AS HELL that I blew up her playground with the OM and she feels humiliated and embarrassed.
OH WELL!!
Plan B is in play......now we wait.......Right?
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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bill,
that is exactly what you want her reaction to be, you know exposure worked, they all spit nails for a while,
It is hard to continue to cheat if everyone is now watching and know what you are up to.
It will add a lot of conflict for her and her OM, they will fight about it and have to be accountable for their actions, exactly what you want, just keep saying I will do what ever I have to save my marriage and family......I love you and I am fighting for us......over and over again, stay calm, if she talks about Divorce tell her you will only discuss recovery.......
over and over again.......
Wait and watch it all fall apart for her........she will miss you even if she is mad....
she will now see the OM for who he really is...........
Patience is the name of the game now, calmly with integrity and class........
jessi
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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WARRIOR BILL!
good job mate.....
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Way to go, Bill!
Most BHs do not get to this point as quickly as you did, and for that we're proud of you!
She may ask you to recant your story. She will tell you she can't trust you again (ha!). But just pretend she's a crack-head and you revealed the place she gets her crack.
If she rages at you...well, you shouldn't know, you'll be in Plan B.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Patience is the name of the game now, calmly with integrity and class........ Patience is the name of the game now, calmly with integrity and class........ Patience is the name of the game now, calmly with integrity and class........ Patience is the name of the game now, calmly with integrity and class........ Patience is the name of the game now, calmly with integrity and class........ Patience is the name of the game now, calmly with integrity and class........ Patience is the name of the game now, calmly with integrity and class........ Patience is the name of the game now, calmly with integrity and class........ Patience is the name of the game now, calmly with integrity and class........ MY NEW MANTRA when I get down and a bit depressed!!!!
Last edited by BillCarolina; 07/28/11 06:10 PM.
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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If you get raged at, just say:
Would you like a potato chip?
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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If you get raged at, just say:
Would you like a potato chip? Would you like some cheese with that WHINE?!?!?! 
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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If you get raged at, just say:
Would you like a potato chip? Would you like some cheese with that WHINE?!?!?! DJ's and AO's for the win lol. J/K that is funny though Bill
WW - 33 years old
2 kids 7 and 9
Me 29
Wife Left June 19th 2010
D-Day June 23rd 2010
R Begins - 10/20/10
Praying Until It hurts
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...just keep saying I will do what ever I have to save my marriage and family......I love you and I am fighting for us......over and over again, stay calm....
Wait and watch it all fall apart for her........she will miss you even if she is mad....Patience is the name of the game now, calmly with integrity and class........
jessi I may repost it every day!! This is the toughest thing that I have EVER done!! THANK YOU Jessi !!!!
Last edited by BillCarolina; 07/29/11 04:37 PM.
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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I'm a bit confused today.......  The Harleys had me on the radio today (8-2)......I sent the Plan B letter recently. Today Dr. Harley told me to contact my Wife and suggest reconciliation rather than wait for her to contact me. Now.....that being said.....the last time I sat in my wifes presence was in her Parents living room just after she had admitted to them that she had an affair. To be clear, at that time my wife said to me in their presence "I'm sorry, I'd take it all back if I could." At that time how could I believe the affair was over? I'm STILL not sure it's over! I was shocked on the air today that Dr. Harley would make that recommendation......but I suppose I'll follow it. But I'm confused......I thought the Plan B letter was strong measure and that she was supposed to contact me from that point forward? Now I'm REALLY confused.
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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I think you should stick to Plan B. It outlines all the things that your W needs to do to get back into the marriage--you don't need to "suggest" reconciling, she already has all the suggestions in the letter about what she needs to do in order to accomplish that.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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Bill
I've not had the chance to listen to it all and will go back and listen again. Why don't you send them an email back for verification that is what he meant? They always say to listen to the rebroadcast and ask any questions you may have after the fact.
Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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I found that a bit strange myself. I believe it was yesterday that he also said that he recommends BHs stay in plan A as long as they can take it.
Me = BH
DDay Dec. 2010
D filed Oct 2011 (by me)
D final 3/16/12
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I was shocked on the air today that Dr. Harley would make that recommendation......but I suppose I'll follow it.
But I'm confused......I thought the Plan B letter was strong measure and that she was supposed to contact me from that point forward?
Now I'm REALLY confused. Bill, he is telling you to stay in contact with her and to NOT do Plan B.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joyce likes his "radio voice!" 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I was shocked on the air today that Dr. Harley would make that recommendation......but I suppose I'll follow it.
But I'm confused......I thought the Plan B letter was strong measure and that she was supposed to contact me from that point forward?
Now I'm REALLY confused. Bill, he is telling you to stay in contact with her and to NOT do Plan B. OK.....now I understand......I just listened to the broadcast again.......I see your point and Dr. Harleys point. Phone her?.....or send a letter?
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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