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I would be worried if they were in the same group, but she in the mortgage group and he's in the auto group. There's no chance of any contact. EVER. How do you know she wasn't invited to this team building trip? It is for managers in the auto loan group. She is a lowly collector for mortgage. No chance.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Personally, I would send the exposure to his workplace myself. Okay, if he doesn't tell his boss about the A today, I will send his boss an email myself.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Her building is 10 miles away from his...totally different departments (she's in mortgage collections, he's in auto loan underwriting). They have no chance of seeing each other or having any contact at all unless they contact each other on purpose. WEll, we have facilities that are anywhere from 25 miles to 300 miles away and I see many of those coworkers at various meetings. Or they could just be attending a meeting at my building and I see them in the hallway. I work for a large company [250,000 employees] and I see people from different facilities, from different departments all the time. I get emails every day that include hundreds or thousands of employees in different locations. I am not trying to scare you, but have you taken all these factors into consideration? If your H's company has a no fraternization policy that would cause him to lose his job if they found out about the affair, why wait until they do find out? It has been my experience with workplace affairs that everyone usually knows and it eventually comes out. Every day when I type names into my email program on my company computer, names are suggested to me to "auto-complete" what I am typing. This reminds me of people I know of by name only, people I've known who are not in this area, etc. Sometimes I even send to these people by accident. This is at a relatively small company. If I had had an affair with one of them I would potentially be triggered to remember her every time I sent an email as part of my job. That is possible and we have talked extensively about triggers. He says he has trained his brain to redirect his thoughts to me and my pain when he is triggered with thoughts of her.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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I should also say that I also know my H and OW haven't been in contact because I have been keeping close tabs on her as well.
I know where she has been and when. I'm not going to say how I know this because it might be illegal and it's highly unethical, but I know that she hasn't been anywhere near my H's work.
Last edited by hbd; 08/03/11 01:58 PM.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 209
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I should also say that I also know my H and OW haven't been in contact because I have been keeping close tabs on her as well.
I know where she has been and when. I'm not going to say how I know this because it might be illegal and it's highly unelical, but I know that she hasn't been anywhere near my H's work. If it turns out he has to go on the trip to Denver, I'll also know if she is near him there. Again, I'm not going to say how I will know, but I will know with 100% accuracy.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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I work at the same company (Investments) and I never see either of them (she's in mortgage collections and he's in auto loan underwriting). I thought you said that you lost your job? See...it is things like this that make me question the authenticity of the poster. I suffer from "Dust Kitty" syndrome. committed
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Believe me, I've thought about this and the only reason I'm okay with this situation is because I worked at the same company in a different group and never come into contact with people from other groups. Wait...a few posts later and you are back to not working. And...No...I don't believe you. Therefore....bowing out and moving on. committed
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Same here. If you're going to lie, at least do it consistently.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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I, too, wondered about the working vs not working issue, but didn'twant to split hairs.
Me: 30
Him: 39
Together 5 years
Married the very best man in the world 04/06/2013 after being common law for too long. I'm a lucky woman.
7 Cats - Viscount Ashley of Leftfield, Pawkie Petunia, The Timinator, Leo the Lionheart, Fruit Snack, Cloud, and Barret
And our very lucky pony, Starbucks
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I've been given a 90 day "working notice." My last day is October 14th.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Surely your husband can find another job by October 14.
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Why would I lie on this forum? I'm here for help. Lying would defeat the whole purpose of being here.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Sorry -- "I just lost my job" on page 17. ?
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lol. My whole department is being closed. We were all given 90 days notice. 150 people.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 209
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Joined: Jul 2011
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Sorry -- "I just lost my job" on page 17. ? I have lost my job. I get to work until October 14th, but I have still been laid off.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 209
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OP
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Surely your husband can find another job by October 14. Maybe.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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HBD,
This may be the case, but the page 17 statement isn't 100% true, is it? Splitting hairs? Nope, and here's why.
You stated this while explaining the financial impact your H's losing his job would have on you both. "You would be screwed". Not the whole truth is it? The whole truth is that you've got 90-days on payroll, so the true calamity isn't as great as you stated, correct?
Big deal around here, as you are finding out.
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HBD,
This may be the case, but the page 17 statement isn't 100% true, is it? Splitting hairs? Nope, and here's why.
You stated this while explaining the financial impact your H's losing his job would have on you both. "You would be screwed". Not the whole truth is it? The whole truth is that you've got 90-days on payroll, so the true calamity isn't as great as you stated, correct?
Big deal around here, as you are finding out. It's still a calamity. Oct 14th will come quick. If neither of us are employed, we ARE screwed.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 209
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OP
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 209 |
Well if you must know all of the exact details of the layoff, my whole department was given a 30 day "pre-notice" towards the end of July. On August 25, we will get a 60 day "notice." Of that 60 days, we will work 50 and not work for 10. So, I work until October 14th and get paid until the end of October.
Honestly, didn't think anyone would care to know all of the exact details of my layoff situation. The fact is, I have been laid off. As a result, I AM still screwed if my H is fired. We are barely making ends meet with both of our incomes as it is.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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