Tanam
Excuse me for being an absolute dunce.....what do you mean by wriggle?
And how do i link to peps posts???

Can you please just answer this question directly? And not try to wiggle around it

DID YOU EXPOSE TO THE OW SIDE? Her employers and her family not only your WW side?

IMHO until you do that side of things your just going round in circles with little direction.

I know your hurting and this is hard but it's not going to get any easier until you burst this fantasy your WW and OW are in.

You have been in your WW shoes you know what it's like to be in lala land so why are you resisting acting on the advice you know makes sense?

Come on you...........use the search at the top of the page, enter Pepperband click, then click a link at the end of her posts.

Surely you are able to do that.

Now, make a hot drink, pick up the phone and do it.

If I had I would have saved myself 5 YEARS of not worth remembering.

Call her family. Tell them your side and what you want.

Big boy pants time hun

did the search thing and came up with no results
could you go to Pepperbands name and add to watched users, would that do the same thing???
i have not gotten any results from the search the site button

crap i found it thanks

Stay close to your true Friends......get some counseling.....get some medication if you need it.....I DID!
I still need meds to sleep well.
READ all you can on this MB site!!
RELY on those who know what they're doing here!
For me....time feels SO SLOW since I found out my WW was in an affair!.....seems like 7 long months, it's been 7 weeks!
One day at a time......one day at a time.

thanks Bill, she talks to me alright....her father was in to see me the other day which is odd because he wanted his info sent somewhere else.....we small talked for a half hour. when he left he told my wife that i looked really tired....her response was i am not responsible for him?????
She is so pleasant to be around.....i would call her a knucklehead but that would be mean...

Thanks again Bill
I am taking it one day at a time

I posted on YOUR thread so you could find me.

thanks pep

Well doing the best plan a I can after I picked up my son last night ordered dinner out which is thurs. Deal but last night w a twist, I tried to make it really special....lit candels had everything ready when she got home from vball with daughter which was late. Bottle of wine, everything was great, conversation everything....then I put my daughter to bed, which for some reason is stressful to ww. I of course fell asleep, I am a man, ww came in and woke me up to tell me that although that dinner was nice, and out of character, it didn't change her mind, she still wanted a divorce.....but she doesn't want me out of the house? I think this is because she knows life is going to drastically change. Get harder.......what the hell do I do, let her tear me apart during a divorce, and continue living in the same house, or stay until she files then leave???? Any ideas will be appreciated

I guess I need to remember the marathon......
Should I also think of the divorce as the ultimate plan b?????
I am pissed the kids don't deserve this

Argggg how do I get rid of love busters
Just had arguement.....she says lawyer is going to make me sign papers that say I won't lible ow.
I respond my lawyer is drawing up papers so that ow is not to see or contact my children until they are 18
That is how I feel but still lb
How do I get to the point where I just let it slide off

How and when are the same ....

When you become smarter and actually WORK plan A, and you commit to responding with your Plan .... instead of going to your fall back habit of making reactionary responses.

Do you actually *think* you can "win the argument" right now? Any argument?


If you cannot control yourself, it usually indicates you are attempting to control your wayward.

Stop it.

I guess so ..... But, more importantly, you need to educate yourself on the MB Plans. You're doing a poor job right now.



No.
Have you read up on Plan B?
Methinks (because you even ask this question) you have been too busy trying to argue your way through this and have failed to study/really understand the MB plans.


No one deserves adultery.

Thanks I feel like an axx

Well I took a well needed weekend of of feeling responsible pep your last post really hit home, I can only controll me the things she does and says right now, i dont want to controll and cannot controll.......you are right i was trying to guide responses and acting reactionary.....bad bad bad.
so I just responeded with love this weekend and it felt good being in controll for once....the soft voice thing works for me.....it reminds me either not to fire back, or and i dont know if this is right to respond with you are right that must be it, in a happy loving way.......her mother got on her case for having a relationship while she was still married and i think that hit home for her......she has also been apologizing alot lately, but is still thinking ow is still the One. I just keep saying yep, yep, yep. she was trying to explain to me why my affair was just an affair, but her's was so much more. all fogg babble...i get it...I sent her a card in the mail, telling her i wasnt giving up and i knows she likes when i send her cards......I bought about 20 at the store the other day and planned on sending her one about once a week, but she has stepped up at least verbally her divorce talk.......which i plann on delaying as long as possible.....I read a really great thread about plan a from schoolbus and ark and am trying not to be reactionary.......any other helpful hints!!!

This is exactly what i needed to hear
p. 98 L.B.
How could I convince sam that he could completely overcome angry outbursts without Jill making any change in her behavior? And to go one step further, how could i convince him that unless he took full responsibility for hes angry outbursts, he could not controll them?

I think the light is going on

Ok here is a good one.....
She told me she still wants a divorce but wants me to live in the house until the end of the school year, of course for the kids......I told her I didnt think I could do that, I talked to her 2 hours later and she reiterated that she thought we could do it...
is this a cake eater or what.....
she just wants to be my friend??

"She told me she still wants a divorce but wants me to live in the house until the end of the school year, of course for the kids......I told her I didnt think I could do that, I talked to her 2 hours later and she reiterated that she thought we could do it...
is this a cake eater or what.....
she just wants to be my friend??"

RIDICULOUS.