|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 289
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 289 |
I would suggest that you snail mail her a card and don't call her, let her call you. Pick a "Thinking of you card" and just write that you love her, and you wanted her to know that. Keep it really short. Let her come to you.
She's hurting too. Let her heal. She'll come to you when she is ready. That's exactly what I did today. It goes in the mail tomorrow. So, since the Wife won't communicate in any way.....and is still MAJORLY MAD ABOUT THE FULL EXPOSURE....am I technically in Plan B? What do I do besides leave her alone?!?!?
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
Just hold still and be available to her for as long as you're in Plan A.
Of course she's PO'd about exposure - no wayward wants to be exposed!
But she's also looking for a way home. Stay steady, Bill.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820 |
Be Still for now Bill, there is nothing you can convince her of right now, the fog has to lift first, she knows how you feel..........
She needs to come to terms with what she has chosen for her life and you can't help her with that............
She needs to know you have forgiveness and hope for the two of you..........
Let her process and no love busting..........
jessi
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 289
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 289 |
Be Still for now Bill, there is nothing you can convince her of right now, the fog has to lift first, she knows how you feel..........
She needs to come to terms with what she has chosen for her life and you can't help her with that............
She needs to know you have forgiveness and hope for the two of you..........
Let her process and no love busting..........
jessi Thanks Jessi.....your words are what I needed to get through this day. Thank You!!
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235 |
Hi Bill
First of all I am no vet, I am a rookie and am trying to maintain emotional controlll.
Just wanted to say I feel for you man. All of our situations sucX...
Just wanted you to know I was thinking about ya!
Stay the course, I think these guys know what they are talking about or i wouldnt be here either
Me: BH 40
WW 39
S13, D9
Married 15 yrs together 19!!!
D Day July 11,2011
WW in P.A. with OW
WW wants D
Almost done
Former Tryingtofeelgood
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 289
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 289 |
Just wanted to say I feel for you man. All of our situations sucX...
Just wanted you to know I was thinking about ya!
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495 |
Just wanted to say I feel for you man. All of our situations sucX...
Just wanted you to know I was thinking about ya! You're doing well bro. Keep hanging in there. cv
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 289
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 289 |
You're doing well bro. Keep hanging in there.
cv Just hold still and be available to her for as long as you're in Plan A.
Of course she's PO'd about exposure - no wayward wants to be exposed!
But she's also looking for a way home. Stay steady, Bill. This is my lowest day in weeks.......I had to leave work early, come home and take some meds for the anxiety. I sincerely don't know what I'd do without you folks here! It's one day at a time......and THIS DAY is a long day.....a hard day. I can do this!!! I CAN do this!!!!
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860 |
Hi Bill
First of all I am no vet, I am a rookie and am trying to maintain emotional controlll.
Just wanted to say I feel for you man. All of our situations sucX...
Just wanted you to know I was thinking about ya!
Stay the course, I think these guys know what they are talking about or i wouldnt be here either It doesn't take long to become a vet. It is the ones that refuse to follow MB strategies, or only pick and chose the things they want to do that are not ready to advise.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
I can do this!!!
I CAN do this!!!! You ARE doing this - very well!
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870 |
I can do this!!!
I CAN do this!!!! You ARE doing this - very well! Lol I thought the exact same thing Indie. You stole my post Idea
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
GREAT minds ... you know the rest
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 289
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 289 |
All Right Guys........  ......  ......you making fun of me?! In all honesty.....I am a man fully in touch with my emotions.......6'4" Tall.......30 pounds lighter over the last 2 months......and SOMETIMES.....I can feel the frayed end of that rope in my fingertips!! I know only a few things for SURE! ONE is that God Loves me!.......and God is working me HARD!!!! TWO is that I Love my Wife!.......SHE doesn't see it but many others do! Her Family does!.....those that have known us for our 15 years together KNOW IT! She just doesn't see it through her Alien Fog and Juvenile Idiot Babble! THREE?.....YOU PEOPLE are the best! Thank you!
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 6,870 |
ONE is that God Loves me!.......and God is working me HARD!!!!
TWO is that I Love my Wife!.......SHE doesn't see it but many others do! Her Family does!.....those that have known us for our 15 years together KNOW IT!
She just doesn't see it through her Alien Fog and Juvenile Idiot Babble!
THREE?.....YOU PEOPLE are the best!
Thank you! Yep I agree on all three
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495 |
This is my lowest day in weeks.......I had to leave work early, come home and take some meds for the anxiety.
I sincerely don't know what I'd do without you folks here!
It's one day at a time......and THIS DAY is a long day.....a hard day.
I can do this!!!
I CAN do this!!!! You can! there was a time I was sure I would die of a heart attack because of this, and afterwards that my body was permanently screwed up. Took about a year and a half for my body to get back to normal. I didn't do meds though. Hang in there, you are on a downward hill... the coaster does slow and eventually stop.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 289
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 289 |
I have to confess! I AM an INCURABLE ROMANTIC!!!! I have another confession! If I had been an Incurable Romantic for my Wife.....I wouldn't be here! So Fellow Spouses!......if you need a "pick me up" while you wait.......deal with......and fight the good fight......I give you some musical and Spiritual reinforcement!! These have helped me make it through a day! HELP #1HELP #2And this one helps me While I'm Waiting for my Wife to come to her senses.  
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235 |
Hi Bill glad you're doing better than the other day. I take the meds to work just in case.....I only take half at a time when i need it. My meds kind of space me out if i take a whole pill.
Keep on the road. And go out and do something for yourself today.
Me: BH 40
WW 39
S13, D9
Married 15 yrs together 19!!!
D Day July 11,2011
WW in P.A. with OW
WW wants D
Almost done
Former Tryingtofeelgood
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 289
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 289 |
Hi Bill glad you're doing better than the other day. I take the meds to work just in case.....I only take half at a time when i need it. My meds kind of space me out if i take a whole pill.
Keep on the road. And go out and do something for yourself today. Thank You! I have a Wonderful Friend here in town.....He and his Wife have saved my life when I've been dog-paddling for my every breath during the last few months. We have a running pseudo-joke about "Take the High Road". Turns out......it's NOT a joke......the High Road is the most difficult path. It's easy to throw in the towel.......to fold......to run......to give up. I'm not going to do that......and the sooner my Wife understands that......THE BETTER!!!
Last edited by BillCarolina; 09/01/11 06:40 PM.
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235 |
Hey man I hear ya! It is hard sometime...sometimes its just plain hard
Me: BH 40
WW 39
S13, D9
Married 15 yrs together 19!!!
D Day July 11,2011
WW in P.A. with OW
WW wants D
Almost done
Former Tryingtofeelgood
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235 |
gin and tonic huh.....I think and I am going to say it that plymouth gin is one of the better things in life, now you can have all the hoyty toyty bombay saphires and such but a little plymouth a little lime and a very little tonic some friends and a sunny day and you have the perfect receipe.........
Me: BH 40
WW 39
S13, D9
Married 15 yrs together 19!!!
D Day July 11,2011
WW in P.A. with OW
WW wants D
Almost done
Former Tryingtofeelgood
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
758
guests, and
71
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
