S88, do you remember the Seinfeld episode in which the dentist converted to Judaism to be able to tell "Jewish" jokes? Well, I considered what would have to be done to acquire the ability that birth granted ladies to reproach the "equality" geniuses, and THE PRICE IS TOO DAMN HIGH !

Thanx for stepping in.......

WW are very different from WHs in this way...WWs belive that they WILL leave BHs. Am I wrong?

A subtle difference, I think, "WWs belive that they SHOULD leave BHs."

After the "should" is founded, it becomes an easier path to establish belief that "shall" and "must" will follow.

Again, BC, I apologize for yet another t/j.

So you are an anti-dentite, NG?

Bahahaha!

Seriously, I think biological diffences between men and women are approached very accurately here. Maybe not described as such, but we use "doormat" a lot with both men and women. The animal kindom doesn't lie. Both genders want what we're designed to do. When we try to re-define that, life runs amuck.


T/J Bill! End t/j!

Yessss. Should versus will. Obligation that allows for WHs to "rescue" the OW more so than a WW, and that falls apart fast. See compartmentalizing. Dudes don't leave without a nest to go to, and that falls apart really fast cuz the routine (or lack there of) is completely uncomfortable for them, whether BH or OM.

WW fantasizes about OM rescue. Doesn't happen and WW is destroyed.

WHs or OMs don't have that intent (to really commit), statistcally. When reality hits they are gone.

MBs is awesome as addresses both situations.

T/J..

Well you know me.... , I gotta comment but suggest we go to the mans revovery thread... Mens Recovery Thread , but I must I must I must, like the cowardly impulsive lion, say this one joke, that wraps a lot up for me anyways.

There was a preacher speaking about Christs Divinity, and how Christ was the perfect sacrifice for mans sins.
At one juncture, convinced he had made that point, he challanged the audience, by asking, "So in your whole life, have you ever known of another perfect individual human being?

One hand in the back row shot up, and the preacher asked the couple to stand. The man had raised his hand.

The preacher asked the man who it was that he knew of that was perfect and never made a mistake? The man pointed at his wife, and said. "Her ex-husband"


Now I cannot stop imagining what was funnier in that joke, which way the inflection went, on what that man was saying..He was either being compared to the last Husband by the wife, in some re-writing of History, and it was driving him nuts, or he was thinking the man was wise for divorcing her,(Maybe for the same reason), but it comes down to the same observation most of us Men have made down through the years..You just can't win sometimes...

Freud went to his grave trying to answer the question,"What do women want?" I would say what my Dad would allways say he wanted, smiling, "The world with a fence around it", or everything.

I think its their nature, yes S88, I do agree on that. I would love to see us boys at the recovery thread treehouse that HHH built, to discuss it though, before we get whacked, not that we don't deserve it.

(Now is the time when all the other guys say, "Whattya mean "we", you got a mouse in your pocket?)

End T/J Sorry Bill

"Now I cannot stop imagining what was funnier in that joke, which way the inflection went, on what that man was saying..He was either being compared to the last Husband by the wife, in some re-writing of History, and it was driving him nuts, or he was thinking the man was wise for divorcing her,(Maybe for the same reason), but it comes down to the same observation most of us Men have made down through the years..You just can't win sometimes..."

CP:

This question is like War Games tic-tac-toe...and why we women love you jack asses and why you love our snottie pants' right back. And, so it goes.

I think that is where my WW is!......she's believing her own lies!.......at least for now.
Thanks Caracal !!!
Today......another Plan A day.

Member

Registered: 03/06/10
Posts: 1428
Loc: New York WW are very different from WHs in this way...WWs belive that they WILL leave BHs. Am I wrong?

A subtle difference, I think, "WWs belive that they SHOULD leave BHs."

After the "should" is founded, it becomes an easier path to establish belief that "shall" and "must" will follow.

Again, BC, I apologize for yet another t/j


Wow.....that is my life...thanks for the t/j surfer and ng

Well.....I sent the DD a snail mail letter......told her that Dad was here when she's ready to talk......don't know what else to do.

Sent the WW (who is ignoring me) a nice card......included "I am NOT going to give up on You or our Marriage!!".......don't know what else to do.

Dear God.......I ask you to deliver my words to my Wife and Daughter....Please open the eyes and Hearts to my words and your Will!!

Todays Update: 1 more day in Plan A

I think it's perfect for plan A. Especially the prayer, but other opinions may differ

Just can't let this one pass. It's a cruel joke that women and men are attracted to one another, cuz they sure don't think alike.

It's too simplistic to blame women's quest for equality (OR Helen Reddy) for female infidelity. And no, the solution is not to keep women barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

Women and men do seem to engage in affairs for different reasons. Many women will tell you that they were primarily seeking emotional intimacy rather than sexual intimacy with their affair partners. Women also tend to find the emotional intimacy their WHs experience with their affair partners to be more threatening than the physical intimacy.

Men tend to be much more distressed by the physical acts that their WWs have engaged in with their affair partners and appear to be less upset by the emotional intimacy of an affair.

Both men and women these days seem to have a sense of entitlement , a selfish desire to have what they want, WHEN they want it, without regard to the needs and desires of their spouses or anyone else. Infidelity and divorce have lost their social stigma. That's clear from the fact that 60% of all marriages today are impacted by infidelity.

Marriage is HARD work. Those who don't want to do the heavy lifting, regardless of their sex, are vulnerable to affairs.

I have to agree, but I still go with the cake eating idea that ends up in deception. And also the dirty deeds that are siad to be excitment, that people seem to be lacking in their poor, sad, lives, that drive them to affairs.

What S88 says it initially true, but societys need to have it all, many times leads to what you described also, and also what you described as this need for satisfaction, by any means possible.

I am sure as I sit here there are and have been W who are sexually excited by the prospect of an affair, because it IS dirty and sleazy, and they fall in love with that excitment also. Just like men who believe that they have a wife they take care of in decency, and seek outside of marriage to really get it on, because the mistress, the hooker, or the ambiguios one night stand, does not have any strings of morality attached.

Its the freedom of release, the mindless sex, the excitment, the danger, that is the attraction.

I knew a guy who left his wife feeling emotionally fearful of sex, and instead of helping her, used her as a place to sleep, and used her problem as an excuse to go out and play women. He would tell them he was married, and act like he was a nice guy for staying with her because of the children. He would play out every one of them, and then move onto another. The women believed him because it was the easiest thing to do. They liked the excitment also.

Then there was the woman I knew that turned hooker for herion. She told me about some guy she was going to screw, and I asked her,"Is it because you need money is he one of your clients?" She said "Yeah, but honestly I just wanted to )%$K him"

What S88 said was correct, that Men want to protect, but to be honest, they also want to possess thier wives, because they consider them thiers, and there is no provision for that in todays world like there used to be. In nature the male who is the strongest, and able to battle the competition up front in a physical duel wins the females. In this world you will go to jail possibly, and the rules had changed, money is the power, and we all know it can be gotten by other means than hard work and discipline, and some even go to church on Sundays, putting on an act, and paying thier way to cover thier sins.

Yes it takes a lot of work, and a strong mind with commitment to make a marrige work. Might I add a commitment to boundaries, and at least a need for them, for yourself first, so you can protect others.

When people start talking about how they are not fuffilled emotionally and that is why they stray, I wonder what emotions they are seeking to fufill. When it is just being nasty and dangerous, why do they turn it around and say the opposite? Three guesses and the first two don't count.

HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED TODAY?!?!

Last communication I got from my wife was a text message on 8/25/11 when she said "I'm done!" (There was more to it, it's on page 21 of this thread)

I'm at work today and get this text from my Wife:

WIFE: "I just got hit with $80 worth of phone cancellation charges because you changed phone companies." (Which I did 3 days after D-Day)

ME: "Would you like to talk to me?"

WIFE: "I would like to get this resolved."

ME: "What do you want to resolve? Just$80? Is that all? I'm ready to resolve more than that."

WIFE: "Bill, this is about phone charges, there is no underlying message here."

ME: "I'll send you $80 if that's what you want...I'm just being open and honest with you.....I Love You"

WIFE: "Thank you for being honest. Thank you for sending the $ for this charge."

ME: "You're welcome.....I'm here."

That was a painful interaction!!!

My Wife thinks NOTHING of spending $80 on a single pair of jeans!!!
$80 provoked her to communicate with me??
$80 means NOTHING to her......NOTHING!!
She sends me a message about $80 two weeks after an "I'm done!" text message???
WHAT IS GOING ON ???
More "Alien Babble"?
I took a chance and held out a hand to her....and how else am I to interpret her response other than "No thanks!"?

CAN my Wife be THAT GOOFY

Looks like wifey likes BillC time....

such a poor excuse for calling you!

Hmmm, I'm feeling a little unsure of myself. I wonder if Bill is still at my beck and call?

Yep, he's still on the string. I'm so awesome, he'll do anything for me. I can keep playing.

Hmmm, I'm bored, maybe I'll play with THAT toy for a little while.

The wayward mind regresses, and part of that is the attention span. How many times have I thought "I can't believe he is acting like a 10-year-old"? Countless. Typical wayward behaviour, lets taste the cake to see if it is still good, but run from the responsibility of having to wash the dishes.

Yes.

SO WHAT AM I TO DO???

Plan B her?!?!?!

What other options do I have?

Keep letting her through until you go nuts or have a heart attack?

Methinks Plan B is the better choice.

Bill, have you read the thread "the craziest things to come out of a wayward's piehole?" (I think that's what it's called.

The answer is yes. she can. 80bucks for jeans means nothing. 80.00 taken away from her and the AP communicating... Different story...

I remember my now FWW coming home one evening while she was still in the affair and asking me for help because she offended someone at work (it was her OM, but I didn't realize it at the time, knew it was going on but pegged the wrong guy). She had told him one day after he came back from running at lunch and he was still in his running shorts "Are those your legs or is that a chicken you're riding?". OM became extremely offended, and they argued and it ended with her telling him "I have a husband at home who loves me, I don't need you! Get over yourself" (or something to that effect)

So I told her that it was a hurtful thing to say and she should go apologize (I inadvertently helped them reconcile?)

Anyway, the point is, who in their right mind would go to their husband and ask for relationship advice with their lover whom they are having an argument with? It's sheer insanity. They aren't thinking straight and I wouldn't read anything more into it than she has truly taken leave of her senses...

CV