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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 76
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Hey ya'll... I realized today that I should update to let everyone know WHY MB didn't work for me, just in case any new folks saw this thread and said, LOOK IT DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK smile

I had a kind of epiphany a few days after making the decision to D. I just couldn't figure out why, oh why didn't the program work for me.

Turns out my WH fell off the wagon, so to speak. Drugs during the A and he returned to alcoholism (hid it really darn well, too!!) about halfway through it. I guess I was so concerned with the infidelity alien inhabiting him, I blew off the other signs.

He finally went true NC on July. Still in D, though. He refuses to hit AA again, and I won't stay married to an alcoholic. I'll have him out of my house very very soon. I'm buying my own house (yay me!) and should be all over with in the next couple of months smile

I still hang around, my geekiness does come in handy sometimes and knowledge is golden smile AND I imagine I'll be hitting the divorcing board soon with TONS of questions!

So, in closing (for you newbies) MB does not work until there are no OTHER addictions. Take care of those and you CAN recover, better than before.


Me: BW
WH 41 (practicing alcoholic)
Married 20 yrs
DS20, DD15, DD9
Too many D-Days to account for, more FRs than I care to admit
NC since 03/11, broken 04/11
NC again 07/11 broken 12/11
Plan D full steam ahead, made WH leave
WH now living with his "soul mate" (we call her donkeychui) 1/13/2012
D filed 01/25/2012
D final 05/15/2012
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TickyTock, I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I still consider you a success. It sounds like divorce is the definition of success here. Thanks for the update.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Oct 2010
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Tink (remember me over at OI?),

You are a smarty gal. Dammit. I wished a better path for you and that xxxx, but I'm glad you are OK and doing well.

You've helped me a lot here with your geekie knowledge (you've no idea! I read 99% more than I post), so stay close as you see fit here at MBs. See you on OI.

Prayers to you, Ticky.


Joined: Mar 2011
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Thanks, ML. I feel like a success smile I am stronger than I've ever been and it feels good. Oddly enough, it was the A that really woke me up... I was fogged out beyond belief. But that's a story for the Alanon boards!

Surfer, I'll be hanging around... sharing whatever I can on OI and here. I'm trying to compile a list of resources I used for info digging, I just gotta remember them.


Me: BW
WH 41 (practicing alcoholic)
Married 20 yrs
DS20, DD15, DD9
Too many D-Days to account for, more FRs than I care to admit
NC since 03/11, broken 04/11
NC again 07/11 broken 12/11
Plan D full steam ahead, made WH leave
WH now living with his "soul mate" (we call her donkeychui) 1/13/2012
D filed 01/25/2012
D final 05/15/2012
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,254
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Posts: 1,254
Sometimes recovery is a self recovery TT. It was for me, and sounds like it will be good for you too! wishing you and the children a new beautiful future.


Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
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Thanks for the update, TT, you are recovering yourself and that is what matters. Good for you!


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
Joined: Mar 2011
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Posts: 76
My divorce was final May 15. It's over, finally.

WXH is still living with OW, claims he wanted to leave her months ago but I wouldn't let him come home. Whatever. He's still foggy, I no longer care.

I'm greedy, selfish, bitter and implacable but I'm the happiest I've been in YEARS. I just have no interest in men, at all. Until the need to have the male persuasion crawl over fire naked to prove loyalty goes away, I'll keep to myself smile

I got a puppy, instead. Any if any of ya'll know about Dobermans, then you know that I have my hands very full with a teething puppy.

If I can impart any wisdom at all, ladies, DO NOT do an extended plan A. If you have any interest in recovering your marriage, listen to everyone here and the Harleys.

And for those BWs with addicts, Plan A is useless, they will walk all over you and NOT remember it. Plan B. Do it now, get them to sober up. They WILL remember that and thank you for it in the future.


Me: BW
WH 41 (practicing alcoholic)
Married 20 yrs
DS20, DD15, DD9
Too many D-Days to account for, more FRs than I care to admit
NC since 03/11, broken 04/11
NC again 07/11 broken 12/11
Plan D full steam ahead, made WH leave
WH now living with his "soul mate" (we call her donkeychui) 1/13/2012
D filed 01/25/2012
D final 05/15/2012
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