no more contact now. He wished me the best and said we couldn't talk for my husband and boys and said goodbye

I told her but they were divorcing. Plus the OM now has a girlfriend who is very involved in his life

yes I'm honest and no was never her friend. He told me she never liked me and talked negative about me. Since I've told her we've become friends but we are different people who would never be the type to hang out.

Get your husband on here quickly please. This recovery needs his hand to steer the ship. You are too fogged out from withdrawal.

Its good that you recognise your feelings for him as addiction and recognise the need for cold turkey. Well done.



But this is not cold turkey, is it? Not so well done. You are within sight and sound of your addiction. You did interact. He read your body language. You read his. You were probably getting a kick of adrenaline when this happened. You re-analysed the scene on the way home. It is akin to an alcholic warming some brandy and then sticking his nose over the jar to smell - oh but he didnt drink it, YET.




Easy. By allowing it! (You might as well ask how someone becomes obese when they clearly dont really need or want that much food.)

OM says nice things. Its sorta like a bite of cake. Not very important to you, but nice. Breaks up the day. Stops you feeling bored.

OM listens to you. A different cake today. Why not take a bite?

OM seems pleased when you say nice things to him. Cake all over both faces by this point.

Flirting and downright disgustingly inappropriate things about sex are mentioned. In a way you would never have dreamed of on the first day of meeting him. But it keeps the cake coming, GALLONS of it.

After cake with the OM, your real appetite for healthy, tasty food is totally destroyed. After gorging on sugar and icing, you have no real regard for your h's fillet mignon.

By this time you start to notice the effect of your cake gorging. The calories have added up. You are so grotesquely fat you arent you anymore. You cant do the things you used you. You have no energy and are so irritable with everyone.

You thought you could indulge in a little harmless ego-boosting with OM -but you didn't count the calories.

Like calories, love bank units add up until they control you, not the other way around.

If you spent all your time with Hitler, and he was charming and said thngs that made you happy - you would have feelings for him.

The calories of what you DO eat count up no matter what you have in your freezer at home. You are what you eat.

Get it?

sunnysunshine. You have some work to do here. Facing the reality of your actions is the first step.

It sounds like you are trying to minimize the whole thing when you keep stating that they are separated. Separated is STILL married. Try inserting married into each place where you have said separated. Doesn't sound so nice anymore does it?

SS, Sometimes the truth will hurt. If you truly want to recover, you will stick with us and face that truth.

Nope never pretented to be her friend cuz I never liked her. Right from the start she was cold and mean. She is not a nice person at all. She enjoys being mean and spiteful to people. I've witnessed that from her fb postings. She mentally abused him for years. She's not a believer. I am trying to be friendly with her so I stay off her bad side. Don't jump to conclusions without knowing the facts. She cheated on Her husband 3 times

Again he is now seeing someone else. They were over a long time ago.

But you are not in a position to call anyone "mean" or to criticize anyone for cheating. You are having an affair with her husband, after all. That is about as "mean" as it gets.

Can you ask your husband to come here so we can talk to him?

ARe they divorced?

I'd be curious to know what those Facebook posts were all about.

Really? She mentally abused him for years? You lived in their house?

She cheated on her husband 3 times? How do you know this for a fact? Because her husband told you?

How old are you?

What exactly did you tell OM wife?

You are either very immature or very young.

MM will say whatever they have to to get their OW to drop her pants. You shouldn't believe what they say, not a word of it.

me too

"Don't jump to conclusions without knowing the facts"

Okay...so we're just going to do what, tell you that what you are doing is chipper and peachy and all those other bull$@*( things?

Still seeing the OM then you are still having contact.

As long as the OMW and kids live next door the OM will be there time to time because of his kids.

So there never will be NC unless you move. NC needs to be for your whole family. That means OM kids and yours need NC as well.

Stop offering manure about how your affair is over when you refuse to move and have NC between both families.

Yes, move away.

You are an alcoholic who keeps sitting in the bar and thinking what a good job you are doing being sober

After he left I had to talk to her because our kids play. About the same time he made it official with his now gf. I talked to his wife about the gf and heard some of her side to their problems and told her that he came over and we almost but didn't.

I'm not immature or young. 30's and ur rude

U can't drink if he's not searving alcohol anymore now can u